What on earth makes you think you could get a dispensation to co-habit with a man outside of marriage? No faithful priest would even consider such a thing! Any priest who would give one would be guilty of grave sin.
Forgive me for this necromancy, but since this is pretty similar to an issue I was wondering about and when I see people saying things like thing, and then not even backing them up with some authoritative quote that there is NO possible situation in which cohabitation would be acceptable, even a chaste one, it really makes me angry.
My mother died when I was 18, about ten years ago. I am the oldest of five kids, and my youngest brother and sister were eight and five, respectively. She died of an overdose of sleeping medication, probably exacerbated by the amount of medication she was taking for chronic pain.
My dad is a very good and pious man, but he is not a disciplinarian and in many ways he let my two youngest siblings get away with a lot that he should not have in terms of behavior. But particularly, whenever he tried to form a relationship in order to not have to spend the remainder of his days alone, they would sabotage him whenever things became serious (and I mean in an entirely chaste way)*8 and in the end he broke things off and let them control his life. I have another sister who was 14 at the time of Mom’s death who probably contributed to this as well, but mostly it was the two youngest.
A few years ago, he became friends with a woman, I’ll call her S. who was seeking an annulment after many years of domestic abuse. They did not “go out” until the annulment was granted. Then, about a year or so ago, S. lost her job as the secretary for the local high school’s special ed. department because of budget cuts and was faced with the prospect of a mortgage to pay with no income, in addition two her two high-school age children and an older daughter who has had trouble with drugs and alcohol in the past, as well as psychological problems, and was not able to live on her own.
They decided to get married in a court right away (indeed, they probably would have married awhile ago if not for my brother and sister) so S. would be able to continue to have health care, particularly for her daughter, and planned to get get married this past Fall in the Church.
S. rented out her house and yes, she lived at my family’s house. She and my dad are both in their early 50’s. I could not say that they had no interest in sex or no enticement to lust, but I think it was considerably less that it would be for a young couple. In any case, they were not intimate, though they did sleep in the same bed. I suppose my dad could have slept on the couch, but he has to sleep with a sleep apnea machine that makes this difficult - though in fact, I doubt it ever occurred to him that it would be wrong to do so since they were not intimate. They are not cohabiting any more though, but this is because, while both youngest siblings treated S. like garbage after they became engaged and my youngest brother actually threatened her. The wedding was eventually postponed because of this, as well as my youngest sister, who has been coddled to the extent that she views all my dad’s time and attention as her own. She is living in an apartment now, which I believe my dad is paying for until my youngest brother goes to college or moves out.
I did not make a separate post on this matter because I realize I could not ask a question like “Is this sinful?” knowing full well I don’t believe it to be a sin, and that would just be baiting. But I am just so absolutely sick of the mentality of so many people on this forum that even the appearance of a sin, and in some cases not even the appearance but a resemblance to an appearance of a sin is the same as the sin itself. Condemning moral relativism is not the same this as holding that all moral situations are black and white.
