Living Together?

[George2]

Tar ashley, your presumptuousness borders on arrogance. I can’t believe you are going on a public forum and downplaying your sin. You should not be doing it, and you should not be sharing it with the world.

You really have no concept of the word “scandal” do you?

Your post above completely downplayed the seriousness of cohabitating. You still act as if this is a decision of personal conscience and God is kind and does not think much of it.

Well His Church. Christ’s Church, God’s church unequivocably condemns it, and if you can’t bring yourself to do that to then get off this board with your milquetoast, lukewarm Catholicism.

Numerous other posters have warned you that you are in for a difficult marriage. You are because you can’t follow one simple, wise teaching now.

You will most likely continue to be as stubborn and unChristian (disobedient to our Lord) in your marriage.

• just amazed that there are Catholics like you. Take your own personalist doctrine and keep it to yourself.

You do not speak for the Church. You definitely don’t speak for God because Christ came to end the ceremonial, not the moral law.

Grow up and stop harming yourself and other Catholics and non-Catholics with your dissent.

 

[George2]

And it is you who are closeminded - for rejecting the wisdom of Christ and His Church.

“We decided what is best for us”… what personalist, relativist cant.

Any parishioners who disapprove of your arrangements are right. There are priests who won’t marry you and no priest is obligated to.

You can be denied Holy Matrimony and you are downplaying your sin and your very public scandal on a public board.

You should tell that poor girl the opposite of what you wrote - it is a very serious sin. You are a poor example of what it means to be a faithful and devout Catholic

Then you go on a public forum and say that your fellow parishioners are closminded???

Aren’t you some sort of spoiled princess. You are headed for a mess of a marriage because if you can’t obey the Church now, you probably won’t later.

 

[George2]

im just grateful we’ll be married in 3 weeks and i wont have to deal with their judgemental garbage anymore.

---

Spoken like a true MTV generation “consumer Catholic” - you just use the Church, you are not the Church.

How dare you call anyone who disapproves of your public scandal “judgemental”???

You are the judgemental one. They are following what the church teaches us. Why don’t you read Matt 18:16-18 and tell us if you should be with the publicans by now.

Or do you presume to speak for God?

You see TAR the difference is we know what God’s teachings are.

You presume to say that he does not really mind so much about your arrangements.

Talk about arrogant. A Catholic trumpeting her twin sins on a public forum - a forum open to non-Catholics.

“Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way” Patton said.

You are definitely part of the problem of the modern Church - everyone putting demands on it and refusing to obey its precepts.

We used to have a word for that - we called it protestant.

Drop this subject Ashhley princess. I am absolutely sick and tired of self-professed, cafeteria Catholics like yourself who get through on a loophole - in your case a liberal, family friend Deacon when so many others remain chaste.

You make me sick.

 

[The_Hidden_Life]

Steve Andersen:

While I think that it is a Good Thing to encourage chaste behavior in teens and young adults from both a religious and civil point of view I think that to expect such behavior from healthy, normal, grown-ups (with all the drives, wants, and needs that God gave them) is not in anybody’s interest.

Like most things in life there is a healthy medium. And frankly I’m interested in what people do the other 23 hours of the day.

Oh, I see

, Steve, because you practically have one foot in the grave at the ripe old age of 40+, Church teaching on sexual morals no longer applies to you? Are there any other moral teachings you think don’t apply to you because you’re older than dirt?

Instead of “admonishing the sinner,” we should be thanking God you’re just sinning “a little bit” instead of being a pathological prude?

A healthy attitude would be to trust that Church teachings on sexual morals are there for a very good reaason and acknowledge that they apply to you as well. “All things in moderation” is not a Catholic teaching. (This “proverb” seems to have come from Oscar Wilde.)

Y’know, I understand the attitude you have towards human sexuality, I truly do. I was taught the same thing in school and by my peers (I’m 33, not quite as old as you, but according to TarAshley I’m already an “old biddy” so I guess I’m getting up there). There is this culture-wide pervasive attitude that it is somehow unhealthy for “normal, healthy American men” or women to abstain from sex for any length of time greater than it takes to hook up with a new love interest. If you and your girlfriend are having such problems waiting why not just get married sooner? Remember St. Paul said, “it is better to marry than to burn”?

There are very serious consequences not just for teens and young adults but for mature adults as well. What if your fiance becomes pregnant? If you are contracepting to avoid such an occurrance you are adding to your sin again. Early abortion and health problems can occur from using contraceptives.

Even if you are both so advanced in years as to make conception unlikely or near impossible, there is still the emotional and spiritual bond that is made in sexual relations. What happens if you two don’t marry after all? There is sure to be hurt for both of you. Plus, as we’ve all been discussing here, there is still the problem of public scandal as you don’t seem to particularly apologetic or secretive about your situation.

The reason I suggested earlier that you pressured your mother into accepting your sinful relationship is that I know as a mom I would feel so torn if my child came to me, shacked up with their fiance, and was spending the night at my home. I think it is natural to assume that a parent wants to accept their child and not rock the boat, and that it often takes great force of will and much prayer to admonish and correct your child when you know it will cause them to feel hurt. You should have been more thoughtful in the first place and arranged for your fiance to stay at another house or a hotel in advance, thus not putting your mom in this predicament.

I am glad you are coming back to the Church after so much time away, but I think others are describing you as arrogant because you seem to think all these moral rules are for others and not yourself. There is a time to question and a time to step out in faith and say, “OK, I don’t understand it why the Church teaches everything it does, but I’m going to try and live according to the rules and pray for understanding.” That’s a whole lot different than saying, “I won’t live by the rules until I understand them.” Not much faith there. Try it, it works.

LeeAnn