Living with a Jehovah witness

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TomMartin said:
And similarly for example Jehovah’s Witnesses, Dawn Bible Students, Christadelphians, the Amish, Mennonites, are not isolated on some commune, removed from the world, they can go into the world, even seek converts, though Old Order Amish decided that they would quit seeking converts any more, they just grow nowadays by having large families, not using birth control. The Old Order Amish will accept new converts, but will not seek them out. So anyone can approach the Amish and express a wish to join, and be taught by them and whatever it takes to join. They won’t accept your infant baptism, so if that is all you have, they will baptize you.
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Exactly my point. These “pacifists” would go into “safe” territories to gain converts. They are actually profiting from those whose blood has been shed to make that possible while claiming that God does not want them to be involved with the world’s affairs.

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Tom, wouldn’t a true Christian/Believer not force his way on such important things… why not visit the “friend” on a different day/time?

What you suggest is the very beginning argument, ‘sure, no problem, you can bring up your kids in the Catholic Faith.’

The cruel reality is that that was the ‘bait’ till he got her over the barrel; now, that he thinks he has the advantage, he wants to wring every residual Catholic essence out of the ‘promise/commitment.’

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Hi, Gladys!

Sadly, your husband is engaged in warfare. Your children are his favorite tools to demoralize and break you.

I hope Tom realizes how manipulative your husband is being.

My blood boils as I read your journal:
6857g said:
Yesterday my oldest son when he got home he said “man it sucks that we do get to go swimming because today we go to church and then on Tuesday’s with daddy because he’s going to feel bad if no one goes with him
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Your husband is consumed in forcing Jehovah Witnesses’ values on you and your children… and no you are no mistaken or confused about what is taking place:
6857g said:
Now consider this, when he was younger and before we met my husband my oldest son loved going to church, loved cathecism class, bible school in the summer, and was more catholic than me at times, he had so much love for God and for others. Now he’s not the same.
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…and your son’s stress is does not come from being forced to go to the Catholic Church but from the bulling that your husband is doing:
6857g said:
Yesterday he was the first one ready to go when we were going to leave, my husband went to the room to talk to them and then he changed. When we got to church he seemed ok but then aftet we sat down he changed he got very serious and didn’t participate. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing but I could tell he was not happy, he then put his head down and started to cry
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This child is suffering because he is fully impotent: he wants to please both parents; but the male parental figure, whose whole concern should be to protect and love his family, is manipulating (and I dare say, damaging) him.

I will keep me in my prayers.

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Hi, Gladys!

It is not my place to tell you what or how to do things… but many times people who have the tendency to be controlling will avail themselves of every opportunity that they can to control things.

Relinquishing guardianship of your children would mean that he would be the full authority over them. As far as the state is concern, even if he is not the natural father, he would have parental control over them; in the case of a divorce settlement he may file for full custody (and the red flag about you seeking metal health assistance, well, unfit mother gives “fit” father full control).

I am not saying that you should not do so; but proceed quite carefully.

If you have living relatives near by, communicate with them (if they are trustworthy) and keep them abreast on what is happening with your life.

My prayers are with you!

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Tom, as I have suggested on the other thread, stop with the naming; open a thread with actual quotes that we can study in light of Sacred Scriptures, Church Doctrine and history.

Look at the world today, thousands of “Christian” bodies all claiming to be the true church of Christ… what is the difference between then and now? Then even when people had “enlightenments” they would not open a new “branch” of Christianity. Once that idea took off, myriads upon myriads of “autonomous branches.”

…as for persecution–that’s one that must be studied through both Church and secular history… claiming that the chicken laid the egg is quite simplistic as it is not only chickens that lay eggs.

Maran atha!

Angel
 
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Hi, Tom!

The naming is my polite way of saying that you are making claims about what happened hundreds of years ago with simply a blanket statement, ‘the Church’ and “xyz.”

We may be in different parts of the world… where ever I go there are at least two different mom and pops, one major, and at least three medium, groups near almost every active Catholic parish… each claiming to represent God’s true church; then there are the mobile evangelists found on the street, public transport, stores… all with a different religious base and claiming to be the true church of God.

Granted, some of these may have gotten their certificate via US mail; yet, as it was once coined, ‘there it is.’

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Hi, does anyone know how to get access to the OP link?

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Hi, Tom!

Thank you for the information–I am truly removed from all the various tenets of faith; I usually encounter someone from some sect or another at least once a month; some are quite friendly (initially); some get flustered up the second I counter their expectations… non are as accommodating as JW and LDS (these would attempt to make an appointment any day/time of the week–great until their belief is challenged).

…as for the editing, we can use the “pencil” icon, at the bottom of the post to make any corrections (even after a few hours–perhaps even after a day or so, I tried a few days ago but I forgot to verify if the editing took–a little type and a double closing).

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Do you mean post a new thread? Top right coner between search icon and your personal avatar there is 3 bars. Click the three bars, click new (***), then click + New Topic.

Peace!!!
 
Hi, Tom!

Did you pick up on the way to post questions?

On the top right, the three lines icon; then chick on the “New” link, also on the top right; follow it to the “+ New Topic” link, also on the top right; post your query.

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Hi TheLittleLady,
In what in particular are you asking about the boys real dad? I spoke to him a little on Sunday and he with a very sad look and watery eyes told me that the boys were scared of my husband that they don’t feel like kids. I can’t talk to anyone with my husbands knowledge and approval or it will turn into an argument or him telling me that I’m sneaky and am not following the order that God has placed between married couples, so we didn’t talk much and don’t talk much about what is going on here and how he feels about it. But I can tell you that he too was a JW we never had these issues when we were together and even after we split.
 
6857g said:
One night during the family bible study My husband was going through the “what can the Bible teach us” book and I remember he read something that made me question YHWH’s exsistance and I felt ashamed. And then I couldn’t focus, after that night I was so angry all the time I think I went into depression because I had some terrible suicidal thoughts,
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In bold, this is clearly a diabolical (spiritual) attack.
6857g said:
In what in particular are you asking about the boys real dad? I spoke to him a little on Sunday and he with a very sad look and watery eyes told me that the boys were scared of my husband that they don’t feel like kids. I can’t talk to anyone with my husbands knowledge and approval or it will turn into an argument or him telling me that I’m sneaky and am not following the order that God has placed between married couples, so we didn’t talk much and don’t talk much about what is going on here and how he feels about it. But I can tell you that he too was a JW we never had these issues when we were together and even after we split.
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This is really concerning. Your children should not be feeling scared of your husband. Please read below:

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Coercive control – behaviour used to control and frighten a partner. Coercive control takes many different forms. A controlling person will use a variety of tactics to make their partner do what they want. Some examples are:
- telling a partner what to wear, who to see, when to be home
- controlling finances
- limiting or controlling contact with friends and family

Intimidation – behaviour to scare a partner such as
- threats
- stand-over tactics
- driving fast, sharpening knives, smashing holes in the wall, coming close with a fist, standing close and shouting in her face
-threats to kill their partner or themselves.

Violently and constantly jealous – ‘owning’ their partner. This includes:
- not letting a partner talk to other men
- accusing a partner of cheating on them
- deciding who they will talk to and spend time with;

These signs are deadly serious. One or a cluster of these behaviours towards you could mean that you at risk of being killed.

Psychological violence to adults or children includes:

Making you feel like everything you do is wrong
Tormenting you emotionally
Constantly criticising you or your friends
Humiliating you in front of your friends
Using unsafe driving to frighten you
Damaging property/walls/possessions to scare you
Making you isolated and alone
Blaming everything on you
Threatening to take the children away or hurt them
Stalking, following, checking up on you
Harming pets to punish you
Stopping you from, or forcing you to, practice a faith or religion
Making you feel scared of what might happen next.

Everyone has the right to feel safe in their family, their relationship, their neighbourhood, at school and at work.

If some of these statements apply to you please seek proffessional help.
 
Hi TheHolyTrinity,
I’m scared. Most of those points applied, as I read them my mind would race through different instances where these would apply and it goes back to the very beginning.
I am torn because I want to leave because I feel that would be the best for my kids and I but I so feel like staying and working on it would be best for my kids and him. Deep deep down I am hoping we can make it work. When it’s good it’s good and I feel like I’d be selfish if I left. My kids would have to be moved around until we got situated, what if he were to take the girls away from me, what if he’s right and the boys would hate me for it, what if he’s right and this is what God wants, what if I let God down by leaving, what if he tries to commit suicide because he gets so depressed that I left him all alone, what if we were getting better. Then there is the opposite where I start thinking what if this never works out for the better, what if my kids end up hating me for not leaving, what if God has given me a get out of there sign by having my old boss call me and tell me they want me back, what if we try but I’m still miserable, what if I’m not being selfish, what if me leaving would have an impact for the better on the kids. I’m just so torn. Things are getting a little better but I notice that this is only because I’m giving in to what he wants. But what if it’s getting better because God is helping us. My head spins
 
About the spiritual attack, I thought the same thing. I was about to lose my faith in my Heavenly Father but thanks to him and to my parents for always telling me how much he loves me and for guiding me towards his true church that I was able to shake it off with Gids protection, Jesus’ love, and guidence by the Holy Spirit.
What type of professional help should I seek?
My husband keeps telling me that I have post-partum but I don’t think so. I’m not wanting to go back to work because I feel useless I want to go back to work because I want to be able to buy my kids things they need without having to tell them that my husband says no. I love my kids and love having them with me. I really don’t like being around my husband because we argue about how he ridicules my beliefs or he tries so much to impose his beliefs, magazines, and other JW books on me. It stresses me out that he does that
 
One more thing…
If he were to find out about me being in this forum, I don’t know what would happen. I try to post when he’s not home. So I want to mention a thing that popped up yesterday and I want you all to help me here.
So we went to pick up my son’s from their after school program and on the way back like right after we picked up the kids, he asked my younger son how it went with the pledge of allegiance. My son said that he only did the last part and my husband asked him that if thought it was ok to do just a little to which my son said yes. Then my husband proceeded to tell my son how they have to prove God right and the devil wrong and by doing even a little of the pledge he was proving the devil right. At this I just about had it, as my son seemed worried from the moment my husband asked him the first question but looked ashamed and scared when he mentioned that. I couldn’t keep quiet anymore and told my husband that that was enough, that he tried and that was what mattered and that God loves us no matter what and he sees our efforts and not our faults. To which he said yeah I get it but God also has high standards and wants us to meet those high standards. To which I said ok but his love is greater and he sees the effort. Then he proceeded to say that my son seems to fall into peer pressure more than my other son and that this is helping him. So I said but telling him he lets God down will only bring him more down. Does God have such high standards that he will damn a child for doing the pledge of allegiance? Is the pledge of allegiance that bad? I hate that the JWs see all the bad but hardly focus on the good. It’s shattering my kids confidence that I worked so hard to build since they were in my womb.
 
Everything you have said points to an abusive relationship.

Please, please, know this is not normal. This is not what God wants for you of your kids.

Honestly, if I were to have divorced and my spouse remarried I would be filing for full custody if I saw my kids in such a situation with an abusive stepparent. Stepparent does not have the same authority as a parent.

This is not about the pledge of allegiance, it is far more sinister.

PLEASE call Catholic Charities at your Diocese, call a friend, call the school counselor, call someone who will help you. Moving is a tiny thing compared to your kid’s formation (they learn what marriage is from watching yours. Do you want your daughter to marry someone who treats her thusly? Do you want your sons to berate their wives?) and possibly their immortal souls.
 
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