Lonely

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GeorgeLopez said:
Lol @ Shallow Hal. I love that movie.

I didnt mean to sound shallow, just speaking on my experience. Sorry for being sarcastic.
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That’s just it, George. Your experience is actually nothing you should share with others, not at this time.

Unless it’s to caution them not to do what you have done.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
That’s just it, George. Your experience is actually nothing you should share with others, not at this time.

Unless it’s to caution them not to do what you have done.
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Agreed!

OP, I understand where you’re coming from. Don’t give up!
 
GeorgeLopez said:
Sheeezz!! Ruin my day… 😦
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Well, you can improve your day by doing a full examination of conscience and getting yourself to a confessional!

Time’s a’ wasting, George, it’s almost Easter! Get to it, man!
 
azgirl said:
Why is it so difficult for some to find a partner? I have been searching my whole adult life. I have dated plenty but never felt a strong connection to any of them. It gets frustrating at times because it seems like it is so easy for others. I am dedicated to doing things the right way and sometimes that makes it feel like the impossible way. I learned from past behaviors that the right way is truly the right way but it still doesn’t make it any easier.
I have tried online dating and just seem to meet men who can’t make a committment. I honestly don’t know how to meet men in the real world anymore. In my 20’s I met men at bars and out with friends. I am 38 years old and don’t have many single friends and am over the bar scene.
I feel stuck, I strongly desire a change in my life but haven’t a clue what to do. I have prayed and prayed about this. I actually feel like God is probably tired of hearing this prayer from me.
Sorry just needed to vent. Been feeling pretty lonely lately and really wanting to share my life with someone.
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Part of the difficulty of life, I think, is being at peace with God’s plan for you. God’s plan might be that you do His will in single life. Having said that, you seem very smart, kind, and genuine in your feelings for wanting to share your life with someone–I am sure there is the right person out there for you. Have you tried Catholic dating websites?
 
OP, I’m ten years younger than you, so I can relate though not fully appreciate completely what you’re going through. Sometimes I’ve also thought that I may have “missed” my true vocation back in my early twenties when I wanted to be a Carmelite but was too afraid and embarrassed to tell the priest about it- then I soon developed a huge, huge crush on some guy and forgot all about religious life 😊.

I’m sure that looks aren’t your problem as some have suggested. I know of a few attractive persons who have married very late in life-sometimes things just happen that way.🤷 If it was all about physical attraction,I doubt there would be any single people past the early twenties.

Even secular social scientists will tell you that physical attraction is only a very small part that is important mainly at the beginning, as a selection for many biologically suitable mates (To you, they just appear “attractive”). Then it becomes a very chemical thing (infatuation) or the experience of “falling in love” that is meant to narrow down the attention to just one among the many biologically suitable mates. Something extra beyond the physical, about some particular individual just stands out or clicks and your focus rests on them. The narrow focus, biologically speaking, is supposed to ensure that you mate up with that person more exclusively than the kind of friendships based on pure physical attractiveness alone. But it’s not enough.

If things go well, attachment follows, with the infatuation subsiding to lower levels. The attachment is about permanence- the stuff of which marriages and long term commitments are made, as it consist in loving the real individual with all their good qualities and flaws. The falling in love experience which is only between a few months to a few years period, is meant to allow the two people to become very close and to know each other (expose themselves) and to allow the attachment to foster.They say that falling in love makes “risk-taking” with another person tons more likely. The scientists say that the attachment exists for the rearing of children which requires great levels of sacrifice and co-operation. It is here that if you have real incompatibilities with regards to core value systems, character and how to rear children etc, that things can go very wrong, very quickly.

My point is that even if we exclude the spiritual and intellectual aspects of man (and true love) those who think merely in terms of physical attraction are thinking at a very shallow level. I think teenagers date this way more than any other group. And more mature adults place the least emphasis on this aspect in comparison with the younger groups.

I hope you find the person that is not only attractive to you, but with whom you share chemistry and can fall in love with and with whom you are truly compatible at a deeper and more core level, so that you can get a happy, permanent and committed marriage.Only God knows who and where that person is. But ask St. Joseph, too. I here he’s great in that department (as in many others ;)).
 
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