Loud children at Mass. thoughts?

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I generally don’t take issue with unruly kids in the pews and just try to mind my own business. The only time I have issue with children is when parents let their kids run all around the church and don’t even make any kind of effort to control them at all. A couple of weeks ago we had a little boy run all around the church and even up to the sanctuary and near the priest. I was also getting concerned about him getting close to some burning candles. The mother was looking after a baby in a seat, but the dad just stood there and watched as their other kid ran all around the church, up to the priest, and climbed all over parishioners in their seats who were looking around wondering where the parents were and clearly starting to get annoyed. It’s a simple matter of mutual respect. People should exercise some patience about small children, on the other hand parents should at least make some kind of effort to not let their kids become so unruly that they disrupt the mass or could even get themselves hurt by tipping something over. I grew up in the 80s, it’s not like it was some kind of pre-Vatican II wonderland of reverence. But I didn’t see kids allowed to run around with reckless abandon like they are today. And almost in every instance, it WASN’T the large families that were to blame, and even today I’d say the large families in my experience aren’t the ones with the most unruly kids, either. Generally in my experience the most difficult cases were people who weren’t regular attendees and whose kids weren’t familiar with a church.
 
I’ll say what the head of the chapel I go to usually says.

If the child is being persistently loud, take them outside, calm them down, and then return.
 
Mass is communal prayer. That means everyone is welcome. We can also have our personal devotions and go to daily Mass if we need quiet. This idea that children are unwelcome in Mass is unChristlike. Please people, stop being so selfish about what YOU want for the Mass. It’s bigger and better than all of us.

Matthew says:
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked them,14g but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”15After he placed his hands on them, he went away.
 
I’m not saying they’re not welcome, I just can’t hear the priest.
 
ColorMomma said:
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked them,14g but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”15After he placed his hands on them, he went away.
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Jesus may have said that, but I don’t think most of the fellow parishoners said it. LOL. I am joking of course. Seriously, though, I think it is right to remove a disruptive child until they can behave properly. Than bring them back in.

For older children, get some professional help if they aren’t able to behave in mass. If they aren’t behaving in Mass, chances are they aren’t behaving any place in public. It isn’t a good thing. Parents should want other adults to enjoy being around their kids. It turns out much better for the kids that way.
 
How do you know they don’t alreay have professional help. It does not work instantaneously
Honestly if I had heard some of what I have read i n this tbread when my kids were little I don’t know what I would have done. Stayed home? Forever?
 
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So, you would skip Mass for years? KinderCare isn’t open on Sundays, you know.
 
Mi_Rose said:
How do you know they don’t alreay have professional help. It does not work instantaneously
Honestly if I had heard some of what I have read i n this tbread when my kids were little I don’t know what I would have done. Stayed home? Forever?
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I don’t suggest staying home. You can’t teach kids how to behave in public if you don’t give them the opportunity to practice proper behavior in public. As I stated before, remove the kid when they act up, I am not talking about a 10 second incident. But if your kid is yelling and running around, take him by the hand and head out the nearest exit. Give them a chance to correct, then bring them back in.
 
I guess that is what you are supposed to do if you r children are not perfect.
 
Allegra said:
So, you would skip Mass for years? KinderCare isn’t open on Sundays, you know
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I would. But I am agnostic. I grew up Catholic though, and we had a big family. My parents never had behavior problems at Mass. First, they didn’t bring us until we were about 3 or older. The Church had a nursury for kids younger than that. Second, they took us out all the time to museums and other places that requied proper behavior so we learned at a very young age how to behave. And finally, they always required proper behavior out of us at home, too. They taught us how to behave within the concept of being mannerful. They taught us good manners.
 
The taking out was never a problem. It was the bringing back in when they had a taste of freedom. Remember children do not wear signs that say “I am ADHD and I may act up in mass.”
 
I took my kids in there once during Confirmation, since it was a special and solemn occasion and I didn’t want them being a disruption. There was a family back in there watching Moana on their laptop. No headphones. It took weeks to disabuse my kids of the idea that going into the “movie room” and watching Moana was a viable option to attending Mass.
 
They didn’t really have ADHD when I was a kid, so I can’t comment on that. I am sure some kids had those symptoms, but it wasn’t really a recognized thing like it is now.
 
Proper behavior at home and even at the museum isn’t the same as sitting absolutely still and being absolutely silent for an hour. Well, unless you home is somewhat psychotic!
 
My kids are in their thirties and forties and were diagnosed as kids. My husband and I are older and knew we had the traits when our kids were diagnosed.
It has always been around under different names.
 
Oh, I didn’t say anything about silence. LOL. It was mostly girls in our family. I have a vivid memory, around 4 years old, of my mother spending quite a bit of time teaching me what a whisper was. We actually practiced it a lot. Even in Church 🙂
 
We worked hard to get our kids to behave at mass. That wasn’t always obvious. Guess what? They all behave at mass now.
 
I can count on one hand the number of times I remember a kid getting further than a few feet from their pew. I can’t say I’ve seen parents letting their kids “cry it out” in the middle of Mass either. Skirm? Sure. Whisper or talk inapprorpriately? Yep. Wipe boogers on their brother? Yeah. But not scream uncontrollably for more than a few seconds or run around. I’ve truly never seen any of that.
 
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