Love wife so much, but physical attraction is diminishing

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Dearest,
I’m sorry others were a little irritated by your problem. Naïveté, I guess. We’re martied 50 yrs. Some were painful w PTSD after Viet Nam. We are not perfect ppl. We all are just struggling to survive w/o losing our souls. I’m still pretty. More of me to love w those darn 80 #. SNARKLE!
One thing I do w a romantic outfit I’d leave it draped across my middle. I Swanee, O have reverse anorexia. I see myself as skinny w front views in the mirror. If I turn sideways, the truth is out! I do that more often…,
I’ve yold my husband a few times.” Go ahead, you have a license.” I haven’t suffered too much. In fact, this is a sobering thought! We both were in the hospital over St.Pats Day. He is Irish!
Death was knocking at both our doors w pneumonia. He’s got COPD on O2. He almost had to be intubated. Me, I was on the verge of Sepsis. My kids were worried we could have both died. We could have! My husbands oxygen numbers were still dropping below 90%, sometimes. Would you believe the dear is getting urges. I told him NoWay, until your O2Sats stay greater than 90% all day. One doesn’t want a dead body on top of ones self…GROAN!
Today, he is passing.
I suggested reading Song of Solomon which is a little sensual. It is about how God’s Love for His Church is all consuming. There are a few phrases that could help the physical libido…,
There are a few phrases, where I’d kill my husband if he used the phrase as a compliment.
1- your nose is like a tower! I beg your pardon.
2- your teeth are white as snow(?) AND THEY ARE ALL THERE! Oh Yeah!
You are good! Have a wine cooler or beer and relax and have some fun. 40’s are a good time. We have 2 feet in the grave and 1hsnd holding onto a weed. SIGH! Sex is not just s primal need but a communion of our souls. Wear a mask and be Zorro. Sorry God!
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
Message me if you need further support. Have your wife message me, if you’d both like.
Brothers and Sisters in Christ, you may be younger or have visions of the Prince carrying us off for happily ever after. My coach got stuck in some stream, occasionally, on the way to happy.
 
Anon00 said:
I suppose I should have expected a substantial number of people tearing me down and jumping to conclusions in spite of this being a Catholic forum. It is the Internet after all. Thanks to those have tried to help.
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It’s very understandable people would call you out regarding your selfishness, because your original post (and the tone of some of your replies) simply appear to be selfish. if you are unhappy with this, change the way you’re communicating. Which is something to think about; if people here are getting on your case because of how you presented your information, who is to say that it isn’t happening with your wife as well?

So, a concrete suggestion; get some kind of counseling or service that will improve both of your communication skills. Either as a couple or individually, maybe both.

A big reason reason why you should get help with communication; you want to tread very carefully with the overeating situation. Speaking as someone with an eating disorder, you would be surprised what can cause people to spiral out of control either in terms of binge eating or in my case, anorexia. One of them is having my sexual advances rejected, even if it’s for valid reasons. My wife and I continue to work on our communication skills for this reason.

If there’s nothing she can do to get you “in the mood”, perhaps strike a compromise in terms of how often you have sex. Again, this will require a delicate conversation.

If that is too structured, then well, bite the bullet and consummate sometimes even if you don’t feel like it.
Because, and hear me out here, before now it’s entirely possible she had sex with you when she wasn’t feeling it - she had sex with you because she loves you and knew you wanted it.

Finally, unrelated to communication, get spiritual directors. Do not share one or see one as a couple, find one for each of you.
 
You seem to be a fantastic person. I have a lot to live up to! Thanks for your candid and humbling stories!
 
Blessings
I’m glad I never read Veritatis Splendor. Whatever we did, it was compassionate, if feelings weren’t perky.
I recall watching,”EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND”. He and Debra were friendly almost every night. I thought,”Holy Cow!”
Now, when first martied at 19yo, none of this was an issue. After 20 yrs, there was a decrease in frequency. But, working, having kids and caring for them, wears a body out…
We are in December of our years. It is all good.
May the Lord, sustain us all, in His love, for us and our spouses. Bless our families w Holiness. Bless our children to follow You.
In Jesus name
Tweedlealice
 
It’s hard being married. Period. You are very blessed to be 99% happy.

That implies that overweight/obese people are lazy. Or worse work-shirkers!
If you are upset that ‘work is shirked’ deal with that. No need to bring in weight issues.
 
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You are normal. 365 days in a year. I feel I’m Jesus 250 Days and then, opps…
Just as long as our spouses feel loved
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice
 
Thank you! Some days, Jesus shines brightly!
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice
 
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