I think my point was missed.
Forgive me if I have.
I would feel a lot better if so and so were dead, so I think I’l go murder them. That action has consequences,
True - the loss of heaven and an eternity in hell.
They chose that action because they want something,
yes, a desire for revenge - Romans 12:19, in effect they are usurping Gods’ role and right to exact justice.
that choice carries potentially eternal consequences, which they may or may not care about at the time.
As I see it, that hardly matters - whether the individual cares whether go end up in hell or not. It is sufficient that they know it is a serious violation of Gods law (assuming the person is Catholic, with a well formed conscience, but even non-Catholics know it is wrong to go out an murder someone - it is written in their hearts.)
It is sufficient that the person knows it is seriously wrong, and freely chooses to do it anyway. The same way that there are people who out or revenge murder another, and knowing they’ll end up in prison, they still don’t care about the consequences and go ahead and do it anyway. Still committed a crime and rightly sentenced to prison for it.
most sinners go out and choose grave sin as a means to obtain hell.
I wouldn’t think so as in “yep, I can’t wait to get to hell, so what seriously bad thing can I do to ensure I go there.”
Nevertheless, we know right from wrong and most Catholics know what objectively constitutes grave sin.
Example:- an individual is engaged to be married, is pressured by partner to give into having sex. This individual is a practicing Catholic - knows it is a mortal sin to have sex outside of marriage, remembers this but
self justifies the act by thinking ‘what difference does it make, we’re going to be married anyway’, and so freely consents to having sex. Doesn’t change the fact the person committed a mortal sin and thus merits hell by their choice.