Man Hating

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karisue

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Okay, that may be a bit of a strong title. But this topic is really bugging me, so I’m going to be over-dramatic with it. Has any other woman out there noticed that it is increasingly popular to talk about the men in one’s life awfully disparagingly? Women seem to love talking about how their husbands (dads, brothers, friends’ husbands, etc) are obtuse, lacking in common sense, insensitive, uncaring, careless, and any other character flaw you can think of?

And I’m not talking about NARAL style feminists – I mean that even my very devout Catholic (and Protestant) friends love to talk about their disappointment in their husbands (and other men).

Often, the comments are directed in a more general way: “If there was a woman president …” and that kind of thing.

If women would build their husbands up when talking to them and about them, imagine how marriages could be healed and our lives could improve! This is not to say that negativity about one’s husband is the root of all problems – I just feel that relationships could improve if we made a more conscientious effort to stay in God’s will on this.

Am I crazy? Am I over-reacting? Thoughts? Ladies? Gentlemen?
 
I think in many cases it’s probably just good-natured kidding around, but I’m of the mind that even jokes have a certain element of seriousness in them. If there isn’t some balance in the comments (Do these women also praise their husbands or men in general from time to time?) then I think it could have a gradual negative effect as you said.

If not, possibly they need someone like you to get it going by saying something good about your husband, or even playing down these women’s negative comments about their own husbands and saying something nice – “So your husband forgets to take out the trash sometimes too, huh? I gotta tell ya though, that steak he fixed on the grill for us for dinner was awesome!”

Maybe your friends just need some salt to season their conversations, and that salt is you.
 
This is a great topic and (I am male) has actually been on my mind today. I used to work in a Elementary Parrochial School here in Manhattan: New York City, until recently, and even there were feminazis. I was one of three men teachers, the rest were feminists even the so called “catholic” ones. In the faculty room in the morning when I would sit to study my lesson for the day, all I would hear (and they knew I was RIGHT THERE!!!) were the anti-men comments. Can you imagine (there is a double standard) if the male teachers were the ones making the statements like that against females??? These were some of the comments: “we are always (the female teachers) smarter then the men” (I had a B.A. degree, and the one saying this comment was teaching only with an Associate’s degree: how’s that for laughs) “These men polititians, they get us into so many messes”, This copy machine does not work, and seems never to think right, it must be male", etc, etc., etc. I have a theory on why some women do this: they basically feel insecure of who they are. Anyone who is secure of who they are, does not bash the sex of another person. It is really self anger. However, most INTELLIGENT women and men don’t play into the game of constantly bashing the opposite sex, becaue of two reasons: 1. They have God in their hearts. 2. They have high self esteems.
Please keep making people aware of the problem which you have stated here. It seems to be a sad growing problem. These are the same feminists who have high hopes of being PRIESTS. I am one to just IGNORE them totally, even in conversation because many times, they are just seeking that, attention.
 
In the last generation, we know women have assumed many roles which historically belonged to men, and have fulfilled them well. As a result, I think many women have gained a great deal of insight into male behavior; nor only from observing men as coworkers but also from spending so much time in traditionally masculine roles (and doing so successfully).

On the other hand, (unlike women) I don’t think most men have gained much new insight about female behavior during the past generation; in the home, they have generally resisted taking on traditionally female roles. In the workplace, men sometimes tend to view women as they would other male competitors. In my opinion, this dichotomy of understanding and insight might be the cause for male-female disconnects, and the man-hating.

As a small step toward solution, I think most men could benefit from exploring and getting more in touch with some of the behavior generally associated with women:
  • Being good listeners.
  • In touch with feelings and emotions, especially anger.
  • Caring communication with others.
If you know a man (or woman) who could perhaps stand improvement in these areas, I strongly recommend this book: Words Made Flesh, by Fran Ferder, FSPA, published by Ave Maria Press. I consider it a human “owner’s manual” for these skills and refer to it all the time. It’s an easy read and approaches these areas from a Catholic perspective.

Peace to all.
 
As i can ONLy talk from my personal experiences especially at the school, i can tell you, the women who were ultra feminists did NOT have the traits you have as being classical women traits: namely, being good listeners etc, actually those there only depended on their FEELINGS, and hence always had over blown HYSTERIA regarding men, and well, sorry to say, but there differences in roles GOD intended both men and women to have. Yes, women are more of the nurturing to their children type, and at the same time there are many who fill the shoes of both homemaker, and professional. I will tell you that I know many CATHOLIC ORTHODOX women lawyers, doctors, architects, etc, that are NOT TRING TO PROVE they are SMARTER than men, nor do they bash us. On the contrary their reason controls their feelings and together with the grace of God, are content in being who they are, not trying to prove that they are the SAME as men. I again repeat, i personally associate ONLY with the spiritual type I mentioned, and I stay away TOTALLY from the feminazis.😉
 
Oh, yeah, I’ve noticed that almost every commercial that comes out makes the poor man in it look stupid. o_O It’s so disrespectful to men and discrediting to women, I think.
 
Are these all the more reasons for men to learn and adopt the traits in my last post? We can’t counter hysteria/disrespect with hysteria/disrespect. Won’t work or even feel good.
 
:tiphat: One of my favorite Saint Thomas Aquinas wrote that the passions(feelings, etc. ) must be subject to the intelect and the will.
 
I think the points made in the original post are valid. I work in an office, which is disproportionately populated by females. I am treated to pleasant company and conversation during lunch. Occasionally they let down their guard and start the “girl talk”.

After Valentines Day, the “girls” were talking about what their husbands gave.:love:

One bragged about the gourmet chocolate that she received.😛

During the course of our lunch, as the meandering nature of lunchtime conversations often do, the direction changed. The poor guys were now being bludgeoned by gripes about their faults both real and imaginary.:mad:

The girl who just 10 minutes before had extolled the virtues of her Valentines Day gift said “Men, what good are they?” :rolleyes:

My meal almost finished (food is a male priority) I quit my self-imposed exile and entered the conversation. “They buy you chocolate.”
“And they buy you ear rings” I said to another. They all stared at me;:ehh:

“Some body has to defend your poor husbands.” I said. So the conversation again turned, this time to how we can poison our attitudes towards those whom we love by griping about them.

Bill
 
The question remains:
If a man makes a statement, and there is no woman around to hear it, is he still wrong???
My wife says, yes of course… lol
 
I like the above point. Speaking with young couples (20’s) there is a real emphasis on how much the woman would have to give up if they were to have a family. No mention whatsoever of the males sacrifices though. Sad…oh so sad.

😦
pax christi
 
I have also noticed this trend. I try very hard not to make such comments about my dh but as these negative comments about men were normal in my growing up years, I fight it all the time. Also, Dr. Laura’s book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands deals with how we treat our dh’s. We often treat our friends with more respect than our husbands, which is sad.
Jennifer
 
what is dh?

Why oh why didn’t I learn this stuff in school!?! 😛
 
Yeah, we just let the women complain and think they’re better than us.
 
This the phenomenon as I see it.

There is a devaluation of the mascline in our society. The 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" mindset so to speak. The assumptions are:

Men are dirty
Men are slobs
Men are uncouth and unrefined
Men cold and/or brutish
Men are ignorant and/or stupid

There’s probably more I missed. You see ALOT of this in sitcoms and other media. Think Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, Tim Allen - the list is endless. Pretty much *every *man is potrayed in this fashion. Probably one of the only shows *not *to potray a man in this fashion was “8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter” and tragically John Ritter died after only a few episodes so the character was removed.
So we try to feminize them - make the dress different, act different, think different.
 
The media/advertisers know full well that women control 75% of the financial resources of the families out there.

So, they capitalize on that. Ever watch a commerical with a couple? Usually the man is a dunce because he forgot to buy Comet and bought the other “general cleanser.” Then at the end, the woman fixes everything and everything is alright.

They are well aware of the phenonemon the original poster talks about.

Heck, the whole Oprah show is thematic about male bashing.
 
I am 65 years old and almost, mind you, got caught up in the man-bashing era. The plain, simple truth of the matter is, women want to be men, and act like men, and do everything men do, even when it is physically impossible, and then they want to be treated with utmost gentleness, blah, blah, blah. It is disgusting. When I get e-mails bashing men, I delete them. Women have bull dozed their way into Men’s clubs, changed the golf times around to accomodate them, razed havoc in the schools, and in the work place. They bull doze their way around the altar in our churches and now, want to be priests. They are arrogant and full of hate. Strong words, yes. But, look at our children. Women can’t stay home and take care of their children because they are afraid they will miss a promotion, or a man may get ahead of them financially. We live in a total upside down world. I am glad I stayed at home and took care of my children. I am not patting myself on the back. I wouldn’t take my kids to any daycare place if I had to eat dirt three times a day.

God gave us a good plan. Why do we have to mess it up.
 
Men do notice that before they marry they are considered intelligent and competent by the women they marry. Somewhere, after marriage and definitely after children, the same men magically seem to become dumb incompetent children and are spoken to and treated as such by their wives. How could these ladies have been so blind and exercised such poor judgement?
What were they thinking with?
🙂
 
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