Many negative comments about my Wedding Mass

[fix]

JC Nixon:

If the priest had been the one to decide the content of this homily, then perhaps you would be right, no one could take the bride and groom to task. But when the homily was in essence ‘dictated’ by the bride and groom, with full knowledge that many of their wedding guests would be upset, to the point of tears, then they are wrong.

When someone invites you to share in their wedding, you don’t expect to go and be embarrassed and demeaned, deserved or not. A wedding ceremony is not the place for it.

Suppose the shoe were on the other foot. Suppose, just for a moment that the couple who were getting married weren’t so sanctimonious and they were the ones who had been living together prior to marriage, it was widely known also that they were practicing birth control and any number of other issues that were not in keeping with Church law, and one of the guests stood up at the ceremony and blasted the couple for their sinful ways, fully justified. Do you suppose that would be OK? Probably not. I expect many would be horrified. It would be inappropriate, just as this was inappropriate.

My point remains the same, if you are so sure what you did was right and appropriate, why did you ask for opinions to bolster your position? Obviously, you realize you were wrong but don’t want to admit it and are looking for justification.

We are supposed to educate people in the faith, correct them in their errors and help to guide them back to the right paths. I suspect what you have done is to drive many on the fence even further away, thus causing further scandal. Those actions are on you, you will have to answer for those you caused to slip further away because of your holier than thou, slap it in your face actions.

I can’t understand how you came to all these conclusions.

Do priests now take a dictated homliy from the wedding couple? The priest has free will. Did he stand up and point to individuals in the pews and call each one out as a fornicator?

I doubt any of it.

I would like to read the homily. I would imgaine the priest spoke in general terms. The homily may have awakened some dulled consciences and that may have saved some souls. What could be better?

When Christ walked the earth, many rejected His teachings and walked away, as well.

 

[James_2_24]

JC Nixon:

We are supposed to educate people in the faith, correct them in their errors and help to guide them back to the right paths. I suspect what you have done is to drive many on the fence even further away, thus causing further scandal. Those actions are on you, you will have to answer for those you caused to slip further away because of your holier than thou, slap it in your face actions.

Again, your ASSUMPTIONS are hypocritical and downright WRONG. Like I stated we asked for certain things to be preached but did not DICTATE the entire homily. Even so, I don’t disagree with ANYTHING in that homily.

Preach, educate, correct: all done.

Holier than thou, slap it in your face? I’m surprised you know my character from a few posts with only little background. You got me all figured out don’t you? motives? what was exactly done? etc? I guess the one who is holier than thou is yourself! You seem to be able to correct me, tell me I was all wrong, shucks you even know the outcome: I have driven people away.

Nevermidn that someone who hasn’t gone to confession in MANY years went back, a child of 13 was inspired and communicated it to his friends, and a Baptist 20-some year old is very interested in the Catholic faith due to the HOMILY.

Also, that couple that was embarassed to the point of tears? Funny, how they are corresponding with the priest via email now to try to work out their annulment.

 

[James_2_24]

fix:

I can’t understand how you came to all these conclusions.

Do priests not take a dictated homliy from the wedding couple? The priest has free will. Did he stand up and point to individuals in the pews and call each one out as a fornicator?

I doubt any of it.

I would like to read the homily. I would imgaine the priest spoke in general terms. The homily may have awakened some dulled consciences and that may have saved some souls. What could be better?

When Christ walked the earth, many rejected His teachings and walked away, as well.

And read the homily you shall, keep checking back… I have permission to post it… and will do so sometime today when I have the time… Its on another computer that I don’t have access to at the moment.

 

[Della]

To the OP, goodness but you are defensive! Well, some of us think you should be. We are not saying that preaching about sin at a wedding Mass is always wrong, but from your own description of how it was done, it was done inappropriately. I think as the years pass you will come to see it too and cringe when you think how self-righteous you and your bride appeared to be to your wedding guests. You knew your priest was the type to “pound the pulpit” and “raise his voice” when you asked him to addressed mainly sexual sins in his homily. So, you are responsible for any fall-out. If you don’t want to face that, that’s you business but if you value the truth as much as you say you do you’ll have to accept that what you and your priest decided to do was insulting to your guests and unwise at the very least.

 

[fix]

Della:

To the OP, goodness but you are defensive! Well, some of us think you should be. We are not saying that preaching about sin at a wedding Mass is always wrong, but from your own description of how it was done, it was done inappropriately. I think as the years pass you will come to see it too and cringe when you think how self-righteous you and your bride appeared to be to your wedding guests. You knew your priest was the type to “pound the pulpit” and “raise his voice” when you asked him to addressed mainly sexual sins in his homily. So, you are responsible for any fall-out. If you don’t want to face that, that’s you business but if you value the truth as much as you say you do you’ll have to accept that what you and your priest decided to do was insulting to your guests and unwise at the very least.

Perhaps he should have told the priest to avoid certain topics so no one would feel guilty about any sins they were guilty of?

 

[James_2_24]

Della:

So, you are responsible for any fall-out. If you don’t want to face that, that’s you business but if you value the truth as much as you say you do you’ll have to accept that what you and your priest decided to do was insulting to your guests and unwise at the very least.

Defensive, yes, because I must be to answer so many assumptions on my character rather than the issue at hand.
Such as the quote above…

If I value the truth I have to what? say that I decided to INSULT my guests? So basically, IF I value the truth I have to agree with you. Otherwise I am against the truth.

It seems like I am not the one with the triumphalistic, holier than thou attitude here. it seems you have set yourself up as holier because you may be older and wiser in your own estimation. I will never cringe at the awesome homily my Priest gave. I respect and I am proud of that man of God for his preaching of the word.

By the way, I agree with the homily, the Priest’s tactics, etc because I value the truth. I will never ever back down and value comfort over truth. No “holier than thou” attitudes here, just the truth and nothing but the truth preached. I’m sorry if a murderer feels insulted if someone preaches murder is wrong. Or a fornicator feels insulted for fornicating. Or an abortionists feels insulted for hearing abortion is wrong.

Again, no one was pointed out. Only individuals know their own sins.

 

[Della]

James_2:24:

Defensive, yes, because I must be to answer so many assumptions on my character rather than the issue at hand.
Such as the quote above…

If I value the truth I have to what? say that I decided to INSULT my guests? So basically, IF I value the truth I have to agree with you. Otherwise I am against the truth.

It seems like I am not the one with the triumphalistic, holier than thou attitude here.

By the way, I agree with the homily, the Priest’s tactics, etc because I value the truth. I will never ever back down and value comfort over truth. No “holier than thou” attitudes here, just the truth and nothing but the truth preached. I’m sorry if a murderer feels insulted if someone preaches murder is wrong. Or a fornicator feels insulted for fornicating. Or an abortionists feels insulted for hearing abortion is wrong.

Again, no one was pointed out. Only individuals know their own sins.

So you say now. Just wait a few years when age and wisdom have taught you a few things, my dear.

 

[James_2_24]

Della:

So you say now. Just wait a few years when age and wisdom have taught you a few things, my dear.

Yes, oh holy, older and wiser one. May I be granted the privilege of knowing your age if you will?

If age makes me value comfort over truth, may I die young!
If age makes me assume on people’s character, may I die young!

And may the Priest live to 100!

 

[JC_Nixon]

James_2:24:

There were many complaints which really bothered me since the Priest and I went over what we wanted him to preach on – so it was also my fiance’s and my idea.

JC Nixon:

May God Bless you both in your marriage.
We need to hear more homilies like this. Many Catholics have become too complacent and blind to the faith. The priest made excellent points and I agree wholeheartedly.

Let’s clear up a few points. You stated ‘so it was also my fiance’s and my idea’, hence my statement that you ‘dictated’ to your priest what you wanted him to cover in his homily.

I said that I we need to hear homilies like this. I will be happy to read it as you post it.

I do not disagree with the content of the homily, nor do I disagree that people need to hear this teaching from our priests. YOU asked for opinions, not only as to what was preached but the situation, that is what I have taken issue with. I still maintain that a wedding ceremony is NOT the time for such a homily. You had a captive audience and I feel you abused their friendship.
James_2:24:

Also, that couple that was embarassed to the point of tears? Funny, how they are corresponding with the priest via email now to try to work out their annulment.

That is wonderful and I wish them well, but it is a shame that they had to be demeaned in public.

Yes, I have made many assumptions with regard to your character and perhaps I am wrong in some of them. I have gone on the content and percieved attitude of your original post. You couldn’t seem to understand why people were offended and upset. I have been trying to explain to you why they may have been upset.
James_2:24:

You seem to be able to correct me, tell me I was all wrong, shucks you even know the outcome: I have driven people away.

Nevermidn that someone who hasn’t gone to confession in MANY years went back, a child of 13 was inspired and communicated it to his friends, and a Baptist 20-some year old is very interested in the Catholic faith due to the HOMILY.

Also wonderful that these 3 people were inspired, but that doesn’t mean that there are not others that you have driven away. The ends don’t always justify the means. That is all I have been trying to convey, perhaps badly and not as charitably as I should have. Sometimes when we feel passionately about a subject, we get carried away. I apologize if I have judged you unfairly, I imagine in your heart you thought you were doing the right thing. I will do my best to stick to the point and not be accusatory.

To summarize, I do not disagree that those who have strayed and yet continue to ‘practice’ their faith in a state of sin need to be enlightened. I do disagree with the manner that you chose and condoned. I have often attempted to correct those I care about who I know are on a slippery slope, however, I do so on an individual basis, as I feel it should be done and not in a public setting, risking embarrasement to them and myself.

 

[James_2_24]

JC Nixon:

Let’s clear up a few points. You stated ‘so it was also my fiance’s and my idea’, hence my statement that you ‘dictated’ to your priest what you wanted him to cover in his homily.

It being our “idea” does not equal “dictate”. If I came up to you and said, “Hey let’s do such and such a thing” and you said, “sure, give me a few ideas and i’ll put together something”.
You would call this dictating?

If I said, can you preach on: “a,b,c,d,e,f and g?” And he said, “sure I’ll draw up a homily and include those points.” You would say I dictated this?
JC Nixon:

I said that I we need to hear homilies like this. I will be happy to read it as you post it.

Sure thing, it should be posted by tonight.
JC Nixon:

I do not disagree with the content of the homily, nor do I disagree that people need to hear this teaching from our priests.

I understand this, I know our point of disagreement is whether or not this should be done at a wedding Mass.
JC Nixon:

YOU asked for opinions, not only as to what was preached but the situation, that is what I have taken issue with. I still maintain that a wedding ceremony is NOT the time for such a homily.

Opinions on the homily, of course. Assumptions on my character, what type of person I am, and suggesting to know my motives: No. You do not know me, yet you assume to know my reasoning and motives.
JC Nixon:

You had a captive audience and I feel you abused their friendship.

As you well know you are free to hold and state this opinion, no problem. But to say that I abused their friendship BECAUSE I am: A) self-righteous B) did it on bad faith or C) [throw any other assumption of my motives or character here] is wrong.
That being said, I disagree wholeheartedly to that above quote of “abuse of friendship”.
JC Nixon:

That is wonderful and I wish them well, but it is a shame that they had to be demeaned in public.

My point stands: No one was demeaned. How can you say I demeaned a particular person by the priest saying: “Fornication is wrong” or “divorce is an offense against marriage” ?? If the Priest, my bride, or myself demeaned someone by talking about fornication tell me who did I demean?
JC Nixon:

Yes, I have made many assumptions with regard to your character and perhaps I am wrong in some of them. I have gone on the content and percieved attitude of your original post. You couldn’t seem to understand why people were offended and upset. I have been trying to explain to you why they may have been upset.

No, I couldn’t understand why they had attitudes and acted the way they did. If a girl walks up to me at the reception and says, “That Priest pssed me off"… But that very same girl is living with her boyfriend, I have a good idea of why she would be "pssed off”. But she need go no further than read the Gospels, her problem is not with the Priest is it with God.

The Priest preaches like this on any given Sunday are you to tell me he’d be guilty of wrongdoing on that Sunday as well? I mean, its the same message, same girl, same problem…

Also wonderful that these 3 people were inspired, but that doesn’t mean that there are not others that you have driven away. The ends don’t always justify the means. That is all I have been trying to convey, perhaps badly and not as charitably as I should have. Sometimes when we feel passionately about a subject, we get carried away.
JC Nixon:

I apologize if I have judged you unfairly, I imagine in your heart you thought you were doing the right thing. I will do my best to stick to the point and not be accusatory.

Thank you, I apologize that if in any of my responses I have seemed uncharitable in any way as well. I must say that we will just have to “agree to disagree” because I did believe I did the right thing and I continue to do so.
JC Nixon:

To summarize, I do not disagree that those who have strayed and yet continue to ‘practice’ their faith in a state of sin need to be enlightened. I do disagree with the manner that you chose and condoned. I have often attempted to correct those I care about who I know are on a slippery slope, however, I do so on an individual basis, as

JC Nixon:

I feel it should be done and not in a public setting, risking embarrasement to them and myself.

I think this above quote sums up the nature of our disagreement. I don’t see how I pointed out and embarasssed any particular individual. What was preached on again was SIN. It was not like: “This man in the 3rd pew is a sinner, he fornicates!” Which would be the case if we took your scenario to heart where you said it would be like someone standing up in Church and calling out the sins of the bride and groom. That is a bad analogy.

God Bless

 

[James_2_24]

I think I’m done with this little debate. It will only go round in circles. The homily will now follow just as soon as I can get it up.
Thanks.

 

[James_2_24]

The Wedding Homily

The Sacrament of Marriage represents a life long commitment on the part of the spouses. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part; marriage is forever.

Jesus' teaching on the indissolubility of marriage is very clear.  "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate"  (Matthew 19: 6).

Increasingly the dominant American culture has intensified the barrage against marriage in the media. Every day millions of living rooms are inundated with the lustful images depicted in soap operas, situation comedies, movies, talk shows, and music videos. Magazines extol immoral lifestyles. Weekly tabloids play up the scandalous sexual proclivities of   film, sports, and television celebrities

Some time ago, late-night talk show host David Letterman announced to a standing ovation that his live in girlfriend, Regina Laskow, is pregnant.   “And here I am, fifty-six, and by all rights it shouldn’t be happening. But, there’s nothing we can do about it now. And I’m terribly excited about this. I’m scared silly about this. I’m going to be a father."  

After the cheers and applause had subsided, Letterman went on to say, “By the time the child has trouble in life, you know, I’ll be dead. I’ll be long gone. By the time the kid’s out stealing cars, you know, Dad will be dead in a few years".

 

[James_2_24]

This onslaught against marriage has been relentless, seemingly working toward discrediting the notion of Christian marriage as an institution and cornerstone of society. Since there is so much confusion about marriage even among Catholics, it is important that we remember some basics facts about marriage as a sacrament.

1.  	A man and a woman living together under the same roof, unmarried and engaging in sexual intimacy, are committing fornication, a mortal sin.

2.  Parents who tolerate this promiscuity in their homes also commit a mortal sin.

3.   A civil marriage between two Catholics or between a Catholic and a Protestant is not a marriage.  This may be a sin of fornication or adultery depending on the circumstances.

4.   A divorced Catholic spouse who enters into a new marriage civilly before receiving an annulment commits adultery.  He or she needs to wait for the annulment before entering into a new marriage.  There may be circumstances were an annulment may not even be possible. When this happens, some people may be called to live very heroic and difficult lives.

5.  When a divorced Catholic spouse seeking an annulment does not wait for the annulment process to be completed and enters into a new marriage in any Protestant church, this too is adultery.  The divorced spouse is still married.

6.  A Catholic who marries in a Protestant church without the proper dispensation from the bishop of the diocese enters into an invalid marriage.

7.   A marriage between homosexual partners is not a marriage.
   
    In all of the cases stated above, those living in any of these irregular situations cannot receive Holy Communion until they reconcile their lives with God.   Reconciliation can take place in the following manner:

Case #1 – The couple will first need to split up, confess their sin and receive absolution; and then marry in the Church. If they really love one another, they will be more concerned about the salvation of their souls.
Case #2 – The parents who have been tolerating the sexual intimacy need to become more demanding and urge the couple to split up and marry in the Church. The parents need to go to Confession.
Case #3 – If no previous marriage exists, couples in these circumstances must go to Confession and then contract a valid marriage in the Catholic Church.
Cases # 4 and #5 – Before these individuals can go to Confession and receive Communion, they will need to obtain an annulment. If there are no dependent children living in the household, they should split up until they have obtained the annulment. If there are dependent children in the home, the couple should avoid sexual intimacy by separating or by living in separate rooms until they have obtained the annulment. By living in a state of celibacy, they can then approach the sacraments of Confession and Eucharist. There may be circumstances were an annulment may not even be possible. When this happens, some people may be called to live very heroic and difficult lives.
Case #6 – Those having attempted marriage in this manner need to have the marriage validated and blessed by a Catholic priest.
Case #7 –Ceremonies of this sort can never be marriages. Catholics must never attend these ceremonies because they give rise to scandal.

Aside from all of the confusion caused by moral relativism and hedonism, more Catholics in recent decades have become confused by the alarming number of annulments being granted to Catholics on what many regard as slender or insufficient grounds.

An annulment is not a Catholic divorce, as some mistakenly believe. A valid marriage signifies the full and free consent of a man and woman to live together in Holy Matrimony for the rest of their lives. An annulment means that an impediment exists which has hindered the full and free consent of those contracting marriage.

Many Catholic priests agree with my experience, that in the majority of cases, the large number of failed marriages has resulted from the couples having been insufficiently prepared for the Sacrament of Marriage in the first place. True, many couples do marry for the wrong reasons and it is also true that because of human weakness, some marriages just do not work out; however, parishes in many parts of the country have been negligent in providing thorough and caring marriage preparation for engaged couples.

As I mentioned last night, the best preparation for marriage is the virtue of Christian chastity. It is this virtue of chastity that helps a married couple to remain faithful to one another.

 

[James_2_24]

But, if young people are not being sufficiently challenged to cultivate this virtue, we may be marrying many who have developed profound sexual addictions through a promiscuous life style; and these addictions in and of themselves will not allow for the necessary full and free consent to take place. Whether clergy or concerned lay people, we need to take the time to help young people live chastely in a very difficult world. Encouraging them to develop a rich Eucharistic life, make frequent Confessions, and practice devotion to Mary, and to avail themselves of on-going spiritual direction, all these are the proven ways by which we can help strengthen young people to live out their relationship with Christ and each other.

The Church must not capitulate to the clamors of the secular world. By the holiness of their lives, both the clergy and married couples can be a wonderful help to those who are called to the sacrament of marriage.

For those who are already married, mutual fidelity is the path that provides personal joy and peace. However, subject as we are to the effects of original sin, we are all fallen creatures of flesh and blood, and it is normal that fidelity can prove a struggle.

For married couples a daily renewal of their personal commitment to their spouses, a well disciplined spiritual life, and a realistic acceptance of their own personal limitations will provide the lasting strength to remain faithful until death.

As a priest, I have always delighted in the exuberant joy of young couples as they marry and then bring the first child to the parish to be baptized. I have always admired those elderly couples, who after the many years of happiness and patience, still faithfully wear their wedding rings, by now, embedded in the worn and wrinkled fingers that have been tried by the adversities of life.

It is important to remember that although the Catholic Church upholds the indissolubility of marriage, the Church always welcomes her children who are divorced and separated. Those who suffer from difficult marital situations are always welcomed as living members of Christ’s Church. Even in those situations where individuals may not be able to participate fully in the Eucharist, the doors of the Catholic Church remain open to all, welcoming all to be living members of the family of God. No matter how difficult a personal history or situation may be, there is always a solution for those who are open to doing God’s will.

And all those who are entrusted with the pastoral care of souls must be kind, patient, compassionate, understanding, and willing to spend a lot of time ministering to all those who seek their loving care.

Fidelity and chastity are possible to live in this decadent society. This past July, my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Our entire family was able to come together to celebrate this beautiful occasion.

My mother was 17 years old when she married my father who was 21.  Many people are amazed when I tell them that my parents are still married after 50 years of marriage.  

And why should they not be together?  Isn’t forever really forever?  

As I am speaking to you, a picture from an old family album appears in my memory.  I can see my mother as a little girl, perhaps 9 or 10 years old, waving an American flag.  Behind her are crowds of cheering people on some street in Stamford, Ct. where we are from.  World War II had just ended and the whole country is celebrating.

 

[James_2_24]

You see, the reason why my parents are still together and very much in love, is very simple. They come from a generation of Americans who were really tough.

They know what it means to make a commitment, to make great sacrifices, and to overcome the difficulties of life.  Believe me, in Sal and Ellie’s 50 years of marriage, there have been many difficulties.  They are two very normal people.  

Their lives have been filled with awesome blessings and a lot of happiness and laughter.  However, like everyone else who is part of the human race, they have been through all the difficulties of life too.  And yet, they are still together, still in love, and still very happy.  

My parents, like many other Americans like them, are part of what Tom Brokaw calls the greatest generation.  These are the people who have made America great.  

It is possible to be faithful and it is possible to be chaste.  

This afternoon, as we joyfully witness the marriage of Timothy and Christine, and we consider the reality of the sacrament of holy matrimony, some may ask, and what about you priests?  Yes, it is true that we live in very sad times of terrible scandals within the Catholic Church.

Is it possible for a man to live without being married?  

I have been called "Father" by the thousands and thousands of people that I have provided for, nourished and educated for more than eighteen years as a priest.  It is the vocation to celibate fatherhood that allows me to stretch my heart and give myself unconditionally with joy and love each day with renewed commitment and dedication.  I could have married someone, but Jesus entered into my life when I was in college and called be to be his forever.  Just like Timothy and Christine will express their mutual love for each other by saying I do, I have said I do to Jesus and his Church.  

Our society is filled with many examples of failed mothers, failed fathers, and failed bishops and priests.  What is the root of this failure?  It is very simple.  These failures are rooted in immaturity.  Mature people are capable of making definitive decisions and carrying them out, even within the very difficult circumstances of life.  

So, it is possible for lay people to be faithful and chaste.  It is possible for priests to be faithful and chaste.  And this is what truly makes us happy – fidelity and chastity.  Yes, we are all sinners.  Yes, we all struggle to be faithful and chaste.  Yes, we all fall at times.  But, the mature person recognizes weakness and humbly gets up and begins again, and again, and again.  

Fidelity and chastity are only possible if we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.

 

[James_2_24]

. Jesus is unique. He is not distant, strange, or unapproachable as were most ancient philosophers and religious leaders. The Lord adopts a way of life unknown at that time. He has no set plan or organization other than the fulfillment of the will of his heavenly Father. As he encounters each individual personally, he calls each one to a unique relationship with himself. “You did not choose me, no, I choose you” (John 15: 16).

What then, are the characteristics of a disciple of Jesus?  

Since a disciple is a student and a follower, each disciple must be a good listener.  Listeners are open and attentive. Like Mary, the sister of Martha, the true disciple will be eager to listen, to discover, and to understand.  The message will never be subject to critical analysis.  Instead, true disciples approach the wellspring of truth seeking to satiate a profound desire for happiness, transcendence, and peace. For true disciples know that only then will they find freedom in the truth.  

True discipleship requires perseverance.  The journey is long and obstacles abound.  True disciples will overcome discouragement and continue along the narrow road that leads to eternal life. Perseverance demands that as true disciples, we embark upon new beginnings.  

Courage is a third quality of authentic discipleship.  Disciples will not be able to simply contain the message.  The acquisition of truth will compel them to spread it to others. Moreover, they will always encounter challenges when they preach the truth to others.  Some will welcome it; many will reject it.  

Another characteristic of  true discipleship is selflessness.  True disciples are consumed  with love for  someone much greater than they are.  When witnessing, these disciples do not draw attention to themselves nor do they preach their own message.  Empty of self, they are filled with the presence of the God who has called them by name. Authentic disciples, while they struggle with their own sins and weaknesses, are nevertheless faithful stewards and messengers because their hope has been placed in the one who has called them. 

Finally, we find still another characteristic of the authentic disciple of Christ.  Passionate love for Jesus allows the first disciples to leave everything behind immediately.  Because of their personal encounter with the Lord, they will never be the same.  Their lives have changed forever. 

We have all received an initial calling from the Lord.  However, each day the Lord calls each of us once again to follow him.  When we open our eyes each morning, although we may struggle with apathy, laziness, and even fear, Jesus comes to us and says, “Come follow me.”  Follow me in your family life.  Follow me at school.

Follow me at work. Follow me no matter where you may be.
Every day Jesus calls us to deeper fidelity, to a more ardent love, to more effective apostolic activity, and to deeper prayer. “Come follow me”.

 

[James_2_24]

Every day Jesus passes by us just as he did when he passed by Simon, Andrew, James and John. If we listen attentively, if we are generous and prompt in our response, we will be able to hear his call. “Come follow me”.

We will only be able to listen and be open if we are free from sin.  Jesus preaches repentance.  “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”.  Authentic discipleship with the Lord Jesus is only possible if we have decided to change our lives.  This is why the Catholic Church recommends the assiduous use of the Sacrament of Confession.  

 The virtue of humility permits us to live before God as we truly are.  We are sinful creatures.  The first step in our relationship with God is that we understand and acknowledge that we are sinful creatures.  The recognition of our own sinfulness allows us to experience the mercy of God. 

Timothy and Christine, you, like most of the people that are here today for this beautiful day, are called to the sacrament of Holy Matrimony.  I have been called to the priesthood of the Catholic Church.  Both the sacrament of matrimony and the sacrament of holy orders complement one another in a very profound way.

All of us are called to be disciples of the Lord within the particular vocation that he has called us to live.  All of us are called to be faithful to this calling.  

Our main goal in life is to get to heaven.  We all experience the many beautiful blessings of God in this life, and we all go through the many temptations, tribulations and adversities of this valley of tears. 

One day, our earthly existence will come to an end.  We will die.  Each us will face God for judgment.  Each of us will stand before God alone, without lawyers and without cheerleaders.  How we live our lives today and every day, will determine our eternal destiny.  There is a heaven.  There is a purgatory. There is a hell.  

When everything in this life is said and done, only one thing really matters. Each of us needs to hear these words from our Lord Jesus Christ:  “Well done, good and faithful servant.  Enter into the joy of heaven, prepared for you from all eternity”.

 

[GoLatin]

Della:

What being given away symbolizes is that you are establishing your own family with your new husband and that your family agrees to this, via your father “giving away the bride”. I have heard of both mother and father doing this, which is nice too because it symbolizes the unity of husband and wife which you and your new husband desire to become, as well.

As for the grand entrance, I’ve always thought of it as symbolizing the bride of Christ, the Church, coming to her Lord in beauty and purity.

Not everything done at a wedding Mass needs to be in rubrics, you know. There are allowances for cultural ceremony, too, since all that is needed for a marriage to be valid is for a Catholic priest, deacon, or in extreme circumstances another lay Catholic to be present to witness your vows.

As ElizabethAnne cited, there is no reason to snub tradition, and hurt your family’s feelings, just because you want to be youthfully idealistic over non-essential elements of weddings in Western culture.

I want to follow the rubrics EXACTLY. I do not want anything that is outside of the liturgical rubrics.

And my immediate family is non-Catholic, so if I get married in the Catholic Church(I am not curently engaged, or even dating), my family would be so devastated, they might not even come. None of my family even knows about me being Catholic.

I am more concerned with following the Church rules, rather than what my family thinks.

I refuse to blindly follow secular tradition, even if it is entrenched in our culture.

A Nuptial Mass should focus on the Sacrament of Matrimony, not all of these various secular traditions.

And my Nuptial Mass will NOT have a Unity Candle!

 

[Marian_Carroll]

This thread is now closed. Thanks to all who participated.