Just wanted to add. Porn is bad any way you see it, because of what it distorts. So dont think it is not, I know that maybe you are stating just the situation you had, but thatâs why I am just clarifying it.
If you want to know a good book that states the correct approach of sexuality read Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla.
On my understandings, the book talks about the sex drive and what is love. Love has two parts, the subjective (affectivity and sensuality) and the objective part. The objective part is to affirm the value of the person (and is the most important one), and is the one that corrects any action, because it takes the protection of the person as north. The sex drive makes the body an object of use. And persons can never be used (because it is the âbest goodâ). Thats why love changes using to loving (when true love, meaning Gods love is the one leading, of course).
About Self mastery from the book:
"Every man in himself must appropriately manage the energies that are latent in his sensuality and affectivity so that they become allies in pursuing true love for they can also be, as is well known, its enemies.
The reason directly founding the fact of moral duty, is the dignity of the person.
Continence is the habit of restraining the concupiscence of the flesh by the will, the ability to moderate effectively the sensations connected with the reactions of sensuality and even of affectivity, is an indispensable method of self mastery, although it does not yet determine the full realization of virtue, as it cannot be an end in itself.
Objectivization without continence by no means could one be called self possessed or chaste.
Objectivization: acknowledging the objective order connected with the lived experience of truth about values. The lived experience of truth in relation to values.
Mastering the concupiscence of the flesh is worthy of the person. If he does not do this he jeopardizes his natural perfection; he allows what is inferior to and dependent on him to act in him, and even more, he subjects himself to it.
This mastery not only aims at the perfection of the person who pursues it, but also at the realization of love in the world of persons and above all in the reciprocal relation between persons of different sex.
The very essence of moderation is unequivocal : whoever has not attained it is not self-possessed and temperate- therefore is not chaste.
There is no mature abstinence without acknowledging the objective order of values: the value of the person stands above the values of the sexus. The point here is practical acknowledgement , i.e., one that influence action."
it read: troll. If that was directed at me I can assure you that my query is very serious and I am grateful for the serious considerate responses. God bless.
I encourage you to stick around. Iâve learned a great deal in my tenure here, these forums have help me make huge strides in my understanding of our beautiful faith!