Marriage Advice for the Young

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It’s wise of you to want to be a good provider for your kids. You wouldn’t believe how many men I met who wanted to have a whole bunch of kids but were doing little or nothing to prepare for supporting them. But definitely find a spouse who is on the same page with you about work and money.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I was not brought up with the idea that the Catholic Church expected you to have a whole bunch of kids. I frankly hear a lot more about that from the “trads” of today than I ever did growing up
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I recently learned of a Catholic woman who weaned her babies off the breast by 2 months(not objecting to that) just so that they could have even more children as close together as possible. 😮 My wreckage of a csection body cannot fathom deliberately missing out on the infertile time breastfeeding can provide, but different strokes for different folks.
 
SeriousQuestion said:
Don’t marry, it is much easier to grow in virtue. You can also fully devote yourself to God.
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Don’t marry if you have not discerned it as your vocation. You will be happiest living your calling whatever that vocation is.
 
My point is is that traditional school is not one size fits all. And, really, it’s where intellectual curiosity goes to die a slow and painful death.
 
Being an introvert and having social anxiety are not the same thing, though they do often look the same from the outside. I’m introverted but do not have social anxiety. I also am perfectly capable of interacting with others, I just need some alone time to reflect after a lot of interaction. As far as homeschooled kids, many I’ve met, including some I’m related to, have problems interacting with others because their exposure to others is limited, and exposure to a diverse group of personalities is often very limited. There are ways to combat this - sports, scouts, music, other extracurricular activities, any way to get social interaction with those different than you. Once you enter the real world you will run into all sorts of weirdos. Get used to it.

As far as marriage advice, marry someone you love (should be a given), someone you trust, someone you respect…and make sure your partner loves, trusts and respects you.
 
School does such a bad job preparing people for life. I don’t know how many useless concepts I learned. Was it the same for you?
 
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More like it was horribly inefficient. And they piled so much homework on us that we didn’t have time to seriously think about what we wanted to do with our lives. So they funneled is all to college thinking we’ll figure it out then.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
What do you say to Catholics that say it’s better to marry early because traditionally that’s how Catholics did it in order to have bigger families
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Here’s what a young, unmarried, inexperienced person has to say about this: Marry when you feel ready/called to marry. Some fall in love and marry right out of high school, others don’t marry well into their 30s or later, for various reasons. It’s not one-size-fits all, and both can lead to long, happy marriages.

I’m already seeing some weird advice on this thread. (Not you, necessarily; but just this thread in general.)
 
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Don’t be in a rush to find that one person. Take the time to get to know them soul deep. Share your beliefs, aspirations, and all your thoughts. Another previous poster said don’t expect them to change; don’t expect that you can change them.

Have fun, enjoy your life and live your life’s passionately.
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
Perhaps. I don’t know every homeschooled person. But the ones I’ve personally met are that way. I don’t want that for my children.
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The weird ones stand out. That’s all. And shame on me for taking the bait on this sidebar. 😆 Let’s keep compiling marriage advice.

Or I can stay on that topic and say don’t make homeschool/private school/ public school a dealbreaker for your marriage. Finances change and you haven’t met your kids yet, so it’s hard to know their needs.
 
One thing to consider too is that a lot of Catholic schools don’t have a lot of resources for kids with special needs, you might have to homeschool if one of your kids turns out to require extra assistance.
 
For my fellow Catholics still at school, be a light to others. Be a living testament to the gospel. You will be rediculed, ostracized, etc., but no gift is too great for the almighty. Deus ad lucem suam nos ducat.
 
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Marry primarily because of values, not only chemistry, though it should also be a consideration. Your wife will change, and so will you. Personality, tics, disposition, etc. And neither one of you will necessarily change in ways the other likes. Values don’t change. Or at least they aren’t supposed to change.
Also, have kids! If your vocation is marriage, it is also kids, and to rear children is one of the greatest moral endeavors in life for men and women.

Side note: I’m not married myself, this is just a couple pieces of advice I’ve heard over the years
 
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