Marriage Advice for the Young

  • Thread starter Thread starter ServusDei1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Get an education, Get a job. Get married. Enjoy sexual relations.
There are problems if you change the order. Talk, talk and talk to you prospective bride. Understand the ways she is different from you. Then make a decision.
 
You are right. Some may say that fades over time, but I think it remains and is just supplanted by a deeper caring for your spouse.
 
Don’t wait for problems to pop up to attend retreats or marriage programs with your spouse. Your marriage is worth enriching.

Don’t assume all is lost if you have some problems a couple years in. You will continue to really learn eachother for a loooooong time.
 
CTBcin said:
It’s not one-size-fits all,
Click to expand...
Advice in general is not “one size fits all”. For every piece of advice ever given, you’ll be able to find someone who did the opposite and it worked out fine.

However, the thread asked for advice, so people are giving it.

What I find weird on this thread is that it specifically asked for married people to give advice, yet half the people giving advice are by their own descriptions not married. I guess they just love to talk about marriage so much they couldn’t hold back 🙂
Seriously, the young unmarried people on this forum talk about marriage more than anybody I’ve ever met.
 
Last edited:
Marry a person who is your best friend. That way, when the romance goes away, you still have a lot in common; many things to do together, and many interesting discussions. It’s also a great help if you both are of the same religion and similar political leanings (faith being the more important of the two- I did not even contemplate dating a non-catholic). 24th anniversary coming up in two weeks. 😃
 
ServusDei1 said:
all the married people out there. What is your advice to young people in regards to marriage?
Click to expand...
whatever you do, don’t have kids and be defacto. Take a risk, give it your best shot and just remember your partner will have just as many flaws as you.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Seriously, the young unmarried people on this forum talk about marriage more than anybody I’ve ever met.
Click to expand...
I did that on ocassion, a long time ago under my old username I have hopelessly forgotten the password for. It’s kind of embarassing now to think back on it.😆 I think it’s just something people can’t help but think about.
 
Overall? Marry someone kind hearted, and with a desire to provide for themselves. This is for both men and women.
 
First of all marry someone who loves God. Loves you , children and herself . Someone who will not say yes to everything you want. Who will accept you for who you are.
 
Understand and utilize the process of old fashioned courtship. Courting is a process of discernment tha was ridiculed and forgotten
JP Il s theology of the body points to the importance of courtship.
 
Never stop communicating. Express yourself articulately and always with kindness. Listen intently when your spouse speaks. If anything is unclear, ask questions. Take an interest in each other’s lives. Let nothing between you be muddy.

Lack of communication leads to a variety of problems, all of which are difficult and/or painful to bear.

(Married sixteen years and counting.)
 
Last edited:
Show appreciation for all they do for you on a regular basis.

Never talk badly about your spouse to others, or share details that were just meant for the two of you.

Start a prayer routine together early in marriage.

Give each other the space they need and encourage friendships and activities with like minded people.

Show trust by non being suspicious minded.

Try and keep yourself well put together for your spouse in terms of appearance

Talk about challenges and joys in your life with your spouse first if possible As time goes on, they will know you better then anyone else.

Put your spouse first in your life after God.

Communicate with respect.
 
Last edited:
SeriousQuestion said:
Don’t marry, it is much easier to grow in virtue. You can also fully devote yourself to God. There are a lot of financial perks too, but that’s kind of shallow.
Click to expand...
Not exactly “good” advice.

Also, Marriage is a school in virtue. Many times a day my spouse gives me opportunities to be virtuous. I’m sure I do the same.
It might be “easier” to grow in virtue outside marriage, but of you are of the right attitude, marriage challenges you to advance your virtue.
 
Katie777 said:
Never talk badly about your spouse to others, or share details that were just meant for the two of you.
Click to expand...
This one is a biggie.

I find it most ofputting when people talk about “the wife”. Or when a married person tells me some private information.

One thing to be very aware of is that it generally isn’t a good idea to talk to parents/siblings about problems or arguements in marriage. I’m not talking abuse here, I’m just saying that your parents don’t need to know all the ins and outs of every spat that you have. It can create a bad impression of the person.
 
AdamP88 said:
One thing to be very aware of is that it generally isn’t a good idea to talk to parents/siblings about problems or arguements in marriage
Click to expand...
I agree about the parents. A married sibling of the same gender(maybe different gender too, I just don’t have one) and same faith can be an invaluable resource though.

When a marital spat has left me discouraged or feeling alone, opening up to my sister helps me see that there is often nothing terribly unique about our arguments or behavior. Couples fight about a lot of the same themes. It also has helped not to be blowing up the husband’s phone or carrying on the fight while we are apart during the day. Left alone with your thoughts, molehills become mountains. A sibling who will listen, steer you from irrationality, and hold no grudge against your spouse is a true gift in this world.
 
You might not always feel in love, but you have to always feel committed.
That’s the only advice anyone ever gave me about marriage, but it’s the only advice I’ve needed.
 
Don’t expect your broken bits to be fixed by the other person - work on your identity in God first and don’t be in a hurry to get married
 
Yeah, but at the same time you don’t need to spend a decade “finding yourself” or “getting to grips with the real you”. Don’t be in a mad rush, but also don’t put up artificial barriers.

One of the biggest problems of our time is perpetual teenagers. Men and women who have been convinced that they can hang on to their immaturity well into their 30’s
 
Don’t try to script your life out to the nth degree. Be open to letting things unfold as they will. You might end up marrying someone who is different in some way than what you assumed you’d end up with. You might marry a non-Catholic. 😮

Not saying don’t think things through, obviously. Just don’t have such rigid expectations that you aren’t open to serendipity.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top