Julianna;11426036:
Well you can follow Godâs word or not. St. Ritaâs husband abused her for 20 years. She prayed for him constantly and he converted right before his death. People make mistakes, donât they deserve forgiveness and a chance to redeem themselves, we are all sinners afterall. Yes, I agree if a man is constantly beating you or having an affair with several women or over and over, or you have an addict and canât deal with it, you should not have to sit there and take it , but you should then pray for that man while staying loyal to the vows you made. Please donât make it seem like I donât know what I am talking about. My husband is having an affair. If you read my other posts you will know whatâs going on. I have a family to keep in tact and I promised my husband and God that I would stick with it âFOR BETTER OR WORSEâ not until things got too messy and I wanted out. It is my job to get my husband to heaven, right? Thatâs what I signed up for and I intend to do just that. (Donât get me wrong it is the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I am working for my salvation as well as his and our children). God says forgive 70 x 7. He forgives murderers, adulterers, fornicators, drug addicts, etc. I think we could all use a little humbling in area. Yes, I know women are beat, lives are endanger, I didnât say they had to stay, I said not remarry. I am not going to sit here and put my life in danger either, but I am not going to break my vows.
As for BF, I commend her for sticking with this and living up to her vows, and I encourage her to keep it up. From current experience, I know it is not easy, but we are living for God not ourselves. For the record, I respect your opinion, but completely disagree.
In St. Ritaâs time, she didnât have any recourse, nevermind ârightsâ. Women were considered âpropertyâ. She couldnât call the law, she couldnât answer back, fight back, she had no where to go and no way to make a living. She stayed. A woman in domestic violence has rights, the right not be abused, the right to think for herself, the right to protect her children from an abusive monster, the right to have him jailed, a protection order, the right to prosecute the abuser. I am not discounting prayerâŚit does work. Fast forward to to âtodayâ, the âhere and the nowâ.
Yes, God forgives. Before the abuser, addict and adulterer can get âmyâ forgiveness and my âprayersâ, he has to âget rightâ and âseek forgivenessâ from God.
BF is doing what she needs to do to save her marriage. Her husband is very different from yours. I believe BF would be crushed and heartbroken if her husband was having an affair. This is not the case.
Your husband needs to seek his own salvation and forgiveness. If it is okee dokey with you that he sleeps aroundâŚbe prepared for an STD.
Staying loyal to the âvowsâ? ReallyâŚyou can stay loyal, but he can party till cows come home?
In an abusive situation, addiction, adultery, 9 times out of 10, the woman will stayâŚbecause she has ânoâ resources. She has no job, no money, the finances are all in his name, the house, the car, all of it, the bank account. I do not see in this day and age where a woman would sit still for that. It is called âcontrolâ. I have told my daughter, learn a skill, go to school, learn how to do something even if itâs tasting pies in a pie factory. Make your own money. Yes, share it with the familyâŚbut have a means of making it on your own, if need be.
Glad you are ok with your husband tom-catting aroundâŚI would not. He would be so outta of there. HE broke the vowsâŚwhy should you pay the price?
I wouldnât even think of crawling into bed every night knowing he is sleeping around, or knowing that his addiction may lead to harming me or our children, or the police finding me dead on the kitchen floor, because the dinner didnât come out like âheâ wanted it. Now my children have no mother and their father is in jail for life. Yep, thatâs the life I want for my âinnocentâ children.
For worse doesnât mean I have to endure a black eye, or have our finances drained because he canât get off the âhorseâ, or he contracts some disease and now I have to endure many Dr. visits for an STD that may kill me and/or make me infertile. Your husband did not live up to âforsake all othersâ. You did, he did not. I would ârepossessâ the marriage on the grounds of âbroken covenantâ. Annulment would be the next order of business. Why should this jerk keep me from my faith, my Church?
I cannot and do not understand women this day and age who continue to allow themselves to be abused. The graveyard is filled with moms whose children are now motherless. My children, their well being and safety is paramount. I pray that God would give me strength to move myself and my children away from the abuser, addict and adulterer.
