Married Catholics Protestant couples, please give me your advice

[jmcrae]

I do not feel like an outsider. I’ve been married to my Catholic husband for 30 years. I really didn’t have a problem with any of the doctrine. I’m Southern Baptist and my only problem is with the Catholic Church telling me I had to raise them Catholic. And, with my husband for thinking his church is the only church and not giving my faith credibility. I REALLY feel the Cathollic church NEEDS to present the couple with guidelines for raising them with different faiths. They just tell you this is the way it is. The Catholic has nothing to give up for me. He doesn’t even have to go to church with me EVER!

Why should the Catholic Church require a member of the Catholic Church to endanger his Catholic faith by attending a non-Catholic church or participating in non-Catholic activities - or permitting his children to do so?

These are issues that the couple needs to work through ahead of time. The non-Catholic does need to be made aware that, yes, he is the one who is going to be making all the sacrifices, on this particular issue. He does need to know that ahead of time, and not be rudely taken by surprise when the children start to come.

 

[Lila_Jane]

Then, there is no way a marriage like that is a marriage, let alone a sacrament.

 

[st_michael]

Then, there is no way a marriage like that is a marriage, let alone a sacrament.

The Catholic Faith has been commanded to Baptize and teach all that Jesus taught… It would be wrong for the Catholic Church to incourage a light version of the faith to be taught.

The Catholic understands the fullness of the faith is in the Catholic Church and the Protestant Faith has only parts of the Faith. The Catholic Church believes the Child should learn the fullness of the Faith and not accept anything less…

 

[st_michael]

ITHEY TELL YOU MARRIAGE IS A SACRAMENT, BUT PUT THAT KIND OF DIVISION THERE. THAT IS NOT A MARRIAGE…

The division was their in the first place… yet the two decided the division was not great enough to keep them apart…

Maybe the Catholic Church is correct when it teaches a Catholic is expected to marry a Catholic…

 

[Catherine_W]

Lila Jane,

I’m sorry that you are sad and feel that a Protestant-Catholic marriage in not a sacrament. I will be praying for you and your husband. I think your husband can be respectful of your beliefs without endangering his own. And I hope you two can find joy in the beliefs that you both share. Obviously I have no experience in this since I am not married, but I hope that things can be better for you.

God bless!

 

[smallcat]

If you were to die the day after the birth of your child, could you be absolutely certain that your child would be raised in the Catholic faith and according to your values?

Hmmm… OK, well, we can never be absolutely certain of anything, can we? I have to honestly say I don’t know. I don’t know what my DH would have done with the religious upbringing of our children if I were to have died prior to his entering RCIA. I know that he would have continued to raise them Christian, strongly and devoutly and faithfully Christian, and I know that yes, they would be raised according to my (our shared) moral values.

I don’t know, though, practically, how it would work for him to raise the kids Catholic if he wasn’t one himself. I mean, it’s a strange situation to imagine. I didn’t and couldn’t expect him to accept my beliefs about transubstantiation and the authority of the Pope, for example, so how could I expect him to teach these truths, which he didn’t believe to be truths, to our kids? I can imagine a situation in which he would continue taking them to Mass and CCD and Catholic school and the like, explaining to them, “this is what your Mom would have wanted”, but how far does that go if the kids’ only parent doesn’t actually believe or practice the doctrines that they are being taught in school and religious ed? It seems confusing to me, at least for little kids.

So, I guess I would have assumed that he would raise them Chrisitan but not Catholic in the event of my untimely death (that is, while they are still young). Since my requirement upon entering a mixed marriage was to *"… declare [my] intention of continuing practice of the Catholic faith and to promise to do all in [my] power to share [my] faith with the children born of the marriage by having them baptized and raised as Catholics…" *and since the requirements also state, "No declarations or promises are required of the non-Catholic party, but he (she) must be informed of the declaration and promise made by the Catholic." I don’t feel that I should have required a promise of my DH before marriage that he would continue to raise the kids Catholic if I died.

It would be a loss for them, of course, not to grow up in the Church, but I don’t believe it would mean the loss of their souls. I don’t know if this has helped… it’s been awfully rambling!

 

[THutch04]

I actually do know someone who was in a Catholic/non-Catholic marriage, where the Catholic died and left the non-Catholic wife with the responsibility of raising the children on her own. She did a very good job. She always made sure they went to Mass, made sure they went through CCD, attended their First Communions and Confirmations and helped to teach them the Catholic faith as best she could at home. She hasn’t become Catholic, but she raised two very good Catholic children. I asked her why she decided to raise them Catholic instead of Protestant, and she said that it was what her husband would have wanted, that it was what she agreed to when she married him, and that she knew with God she wasn’t really raising them “alone.” Her faith amazes me.

My opinion on a mixed marriage for myself has changed recently. It used to be that I just assumed I wouldn’t marry someone of my faith because there were so few Anglicans. I just assumed that if that happened, that everything would go my way if I married someone outside of my faith. Then I dated someone whose parents had a real issue with me not being Catholic. That’s when it started becoming an issue. Personally, I just don’t think that it’s fair as a convert for me to marry a non-Catholic, because any children I have will already be missing out on so much with me not being born Catholic. And I want to be able to share the Sacraments with my husband, which I won’t be able to do if I don’t marry a Catholic.

 

[Catherine_W]

I appreciate every single response on here so much! Thank you!

I was thinking that maybe some of my later questions have been overlooked. I really am not trying to be rude by reposting these questions, I am just so curious to hear your responses.

I have another question for all the Protestant spouses (or people who can comment about their spouses situation) that have made a commitment to raise your children Catholic.
How did you come to this decision?
Does it sadden you to see your children with beliefs not identical to your own?
What is the Catholic teaching that is most difficult for you to teach your children?
Do you feel like an outsider in your family (and I really hope you don’t)?

I realize some of these questions probably can not be adequately answered in a post (especially how you came to the decision to raise your children Catholic), but any little tidbit you can give me I would love.

 

[yessisan]

amills,

Catholic your spouse can
7.Respect, Respect respect. For example, if your spouse believes they cannot eat pork, drink alcohol then eliminate them from your home since that is not necessary for your religion but may be by theirs.

Hi, I just married a non-Catholic, and he tells me I cannot have a cross at home, nor a painting of the last supper, nor any decorations for Xmas… what am I to do? Do you think the advise you gave applies to that as well???

Please help!!!

 

[Ferdinand_Mary]

You have all done a wonderful job of restoring charity and backing away from a potentially heated issue. Please keep up the good work.

Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary

 

[amills]

amills,
Hi, I just married a non-Catholic, and he tells me I cannot have a cross at home, nor a painting of the last supper, nor any decorations for Xmas… what am I to do? Do you think the advise you gave applies to that as well???

Please help!!!

Yes - but the advise goes both ways. If having these things are important to you - which I think they are, then he should allow you a place to have such things. They certainly don’t have to be all over the house but could be limited to one room, or one corner of the room. My husband is SDA but allows me to have any decorations in the home I want including crucifixes, statues, pictures, etc.

Your husband needs to allow you to practice your faith as you see fit.

 

[RyanL_s_Wife]

Oh yes, please anyone feel free to answer! Thank you so much RyanL’s Wife.

I have another question for all the Protestant spouses (or people who can comment about their spouses situation) that have made a commitment to raise your children Catholic. How did you come to this decision? Does it sadden you to see your children with beliefs not identical to your own? What is the Catholic teaching that is most difficult for you to teach your children? Do you feel like an outsider in your family?

I appreciate your answers to any of these questions so much!

I am not sure that my answer will help you, since our roles are reversed. I was raised to believe that the husband is the spiritual head of the house. So, as much as I tried to justify ignoring this because Ryan was Catholic. It just didn’t work. I feel since he is the spiritual leader of our house, we must raise the children as he deems necessary. Since Ryan is Catholic, our household is Catholic. (again…no real choice in the matter)

Does it sadden me? Right now, I think I am more worried. What if he is wrong, what if I am failing my kids by not teaching them my beliefs, what if I am right and he is wrong… that kind of stuff. I am upset that they won’t get to do the things I did as a child: AWANA, church camp, Bible drills… things that are more typically protestant. I am just trusting God that everything will turn out as it should.

What is the most difficult thing to teach my child? Nothing yet. My husband is very good about my beliefs. I am uncomfortable with crucifixes and statues everywhere. So we don’t have those in the house right now. I did tell him once we settle into a house (after he is out of school) that maybe he could have a corner of our room or his office or something for displaying things. There are a few icons that I like. I have told him I would be okay getting those. But he hasn’t followed through with it. (and I am not pushing it) Currently, I don’t “get” the rosary, so this is something I don’t feel compelled to do or teach my children. But if Ryan wants to, he can. We do have a friend that has a corner in her house where they burn incense and say there nightly prayers. I think that is a pretty cool thing. I guess my point here is… I am not comfortable with some of the ways Catholics show devotion…statues, candles, rosaries, etc… But, if it is something my children choose to do, I would never discourage it. It will just have to be something their daddy teaches them.

Do I feel like an outsider in my family? Not at all. My husband is very respectful of my beliefs and does his best to never make me uncomfortable. His family, while Catholic, are not very devout, so that is a non-issue. My family is heartbroken over my decision, but supportive. I attend mass with Ryan, go to a Catholic bible study (most of the girls their are converts, so that makes things much easier) and I know quite a bit about the Catholic church, So it is very easy to fit in…most of the time I end up having to clarify that I am not doing such and such because I am NOT catholic. There have been many times where people have said…I didn’t realize you weren’t Catholic.

My situation may be very unique. I am extremely blessed to have such an understanding husband. But, you asked the questions, so I wanted to give you some answers. I hope this helps.

God Bless,

RyanL’s Wife

 

[Catherine_W]

Dear RyanL’s Wife, Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions. And concerning your primary reason for following your husband as the spiritual head of the house, I have also thought about this and believe it too. And I assumed that this was a reason for many Protestant women to agree to raise their children Catholic as their husband is. I am so happy that you and your husband have such a blessed marriage, I can only hope that my fiancé and I will one day be as blessed.

To everyone,

The husband is the spiritual head of the house.

The Catholic Church (as far as I know) also supports the belief that the husband is the spiritual head of the house, as do I. But the Catholic Church also says that the children must be raised Catholic and I want this as well. I guess my question is how these two can go together, when the wife is the one who is Catholic. I know that smallcat was at one point in my situation, as the Catholic female married to a Protestant husband, and I’m sure others on here have been in this situation. How did you and your husband approach this issue of the man being the spiritual leader when the children are not of his exact faith?

If there are any protestant Husbands (or their wives who can comment about their decision) out there who made the commitment to raise your children Catholic, I would very much like to hear how you came to your decision.

Thank you all so much! I love the Catholic Answers Forums and all the wonderful people who post on here! I feel like I have such a great support group who I can ask all my questions to and I am so thankful!

 

[smallcat]

I have another question for all the Protestant spouses (or people who can comment about their spouses situation) that have made a commitment to raise your children Catholic. How did you come to this decision? Does it sadden you to see your children with beliefs not identical to your own? What is the Catholic teaching that is most difficult for you to teach your children? Do you feel like an outsider in your family?

Well, I’ll speak for my husband, so take this with a grain of salt as it’s second-hand . As for the first question, we came to the decision after much discussion prior to our engagement. I don’t think I could or would have consented to marrying him if I didn’t really believe he would be 100% supportive of raising our kids Catholic-- truly Catholic, and not Catholic in name only. Quite frankly, though we were both committed Christians, it was much more important to me that our kids be raised Catholic than it was for him to have our kids be raised Presbyterian. He was/is very laid back and-- I don’t know what word I’m looking for, exactly-- not a relativist at all, but sort of a relativist within a Christian framework. That is, as long as you’re solidly Christian, it didn’t much matter to him what denomination. He didn’t feel that my soul was endangered by being Catholic. He couldn’t agree with many of the Church’s teachings-- namely the Eucharist and the authority of the Pope-- hence, he couldn’t, with integrity, become Catholic (nor did I want him to just for the sake of our family!), but he was of a very “live and let live” mentality-- if that’s what I believe, then as long as I’m acknowledging Christ as my divine savior and basically subscribe to the Creed, he was OK with it.

Did it sadden him to see the kids with beliefs not his own? Well, as our oldest is only 8, it hasn’t been much of an issue, really. But even as she (the 8 year old) started to ask questions, it didn’t sadden him so much as make him uncomfortable to have to face questions like “why do we genuflect?” when he knew the answer but didn’t practice it himself. He felt weird saying “because you/Mom/Catholics (inference: not me) believe Jesus is really in the tabernacle”. Not weird because of dishonesty, just weird because he was uncomfortable facing the question that inevitably would come next: “why don’t you believe that, too?”.

The Catholic teaching that was the most difficult for him, and is still his biggest struggle in RCIA, is the Real Presence. Ironically, it’s also what has drawn him to the Church! Since our kids are still relatively little, it never became much of a theological issue in our house, but I can imagine it could have been. I have always been very devoted to the Eucharistic presence of our Lord and to Eucharistic Adoration. I think seeing my reverence helped him understand how to present it to our kids, and made him realize how important it was for them, and for me, to be respectful especially during the consecration at Mass.

Has he felt like an outsider? Never. My side of the family isn’t huge, so there aren’t a lot of people to argue with and my parents weren’t even Christian when they married, so they didn’t pose much argument. In fact, I would say that I encountered more resistance from his family than he has from mine. Because we’ve had the good fortune of belonging to both Catholic and Protestant communities who welcomed us both, along with our families, we’ve never felt isolated.

Phew! Sorry that was so long. Feel free to ask whatever you’d like, or PM me if you’d rather.

 

[smallcat]

Oh, in answer to your other question about spiritual headship:

The husband is the spiritual head of the house.

Yeah, this was a toughie for me. What does this mean when I’m practically taking the responsibility for most of the religious formation and actively keeping the kids out of certain functions (Sunday school, religious ed) at his church? What I tried to do, however imperfectly, was to show respect to my husband in all circumstances. That meant respecting his participation at his church and being honest with the kids about it, but also respecting his leadership in other areas of our family as well. The kids definitely knew/know that Dad’s the boss! But, honestly, it’s been hard, and one thing that was really helpful, though I admit we didn’t do it as often as we should have, was praying nightly prayers together as a family (as well as grace with meals). These were simple prayers, usually a Bible reading and some extemporaneous petitions and praise, but DH always led them. Again, the spiritual headship thing would have been more of an issue if the kids were older, but this kind of praying together as a family was really important. Also, DH took responsibility during Mass, too. He didn’t sit back with the attitude of “well, it’s Mom’s church, Mom’s responsibility.” He made sure the kids were up/dressed/combed for Mass; he disciplined them during Mass if they became rowdy, scolded them for not paying attention, drew their attention to important parts of the Mass (yes, even the Eucharist!), walked with them in the back when they were little. All of these are important examples that meant a lot to the kids, whether they realized it or not.

 

[genealogist]

Catherine,

Each situation is different. I have been married to a nominal Presbyterian for 13 years now and we have three kids: 9, 6 and 3. All were baptized at the Catholic and the older two attend CCD. My 9 has received his First Communion and attends Mass weekly. 6 has started to come most weeks. Wifey almost never comes and invariably is bothered by bad music, foreign priests whom she can’t understand or something else that has nothing to do with worship. We pray each night before bed but not at meals as that would make her parents uncomfortable when we eat with them. Christmas Mass is a BIG DEAL and I literally have to fight to get there because of the time conflicts with dinner and gifts. I’m not kidding.

I told my wife a week before we found out we were expecting 3 that if I had known then what I know now I would not marry her.

Married C-P couples must look at the glass as 3/4-full and while not ignoring the differences concentrate on the similarities.

Here is a list of writings to consider:

James A. Pike, If You Marry Outside Your faith: Counsel on Mixed Marriages (New York, NY: Harper & Brothers, 1954 revised 1962). Protestant

C. Stanley Lowell, Protestant-Catholic Marriage, (Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1962). Protestant

John King Mussio and others, Mixed Marriage: An Honest Appraisal (St. Meinrad, IN:Abbey Press, 1966). RC

A.M.J. Kreykamp O.P. and Isaac C. Rottenberg, Protestant-Catholic Marriages: Interpreted by Pastors and Priests (Philadelphia, PA: Westminster Press, 1967).RC-Dutch Reform

Paul and Jeanne Simon, Protestant-Catholic Marriages Can Succeed (New York, NY: Association Press, 1967). Mixed couple

Alasdair Heron, Two Churches-One Love: Interchurch Marriage between Protestants and Roman Catholics (Dublin: APCK by Beacon Printing Co. Ltd., 1977). Protestant clergyman scholar

Theresa Rebeck, Catholic Update: ‘Mixed’ Marriages: Helping Interfaith Couples Grow (Cincinnati: St. Anthony Messenger Press, 1981).

Richard M. Lawless, When Love Unites the Church: A Look at Protestant-Catholic Marriage (St. Meinrad, IN:Abbey Press, 1982). RC hubby in mixed marriage

Barbara D. Schiappa, Mixing: Catholic-Protestant Marriages in the 1980s A Guidebook for Couples and Families (Ramsey, NJ: Paulist Press, 1982). Wife in mixed marriage

Michael Lawler, Ecumenical Marriage & Remarriage: Gifts and Challenges to the Churches (Mystic, CT:Twenty-Third Publications, 1990). Former RC priest, not the most EWTN guy out there.

Elizabeth Bookser Barkley, Catholic Update: Interchurch Marriages: How to Help Them Succeed (Cincinnati: St. Anthony Messenger Press, 1990).

George Kilcourse, Double Belonging: Interchurch Families and Christian Unity (New York/Mahwah: Paulist Press, 1992). Priest who used to be Ecumenical Officer in his diocese. Pastoral but not necessarily orthodox in all areas.

Report of the National Dialogue between the Roman Catholic Church and the Uniting Church in Australia, Interchurch Marriages: Their Ecumenical Challenge and Significance for Our Churches, (Strathfield NSW: St. Paul’s Publications, 1999).

Center for Marriage and Family, Ministry To Interchurch Marriages: A Summary Report, (Omaha: Creighton University, 1999). Research by before mentioned Dr. Lawler. Found that mopst couples are same church within 5 years of a mixed marriage. Divorce is higher but not definite between mixed couples.

Center for Marriage and Family, Building Relationship, Interaction, Decision-making, Growth and Enrichment Through Spirituality (BRIDGES), (Omaha: Creighton University, 2002). Tool for mixed couples.

John C. Bush and Patrick R. Cooney, eds. Catholic/Reformed Dialogue in the United States, Interchurch Families: Resources for Ecumenical Hope, (Louisville/London: Westminster John Knox Press, 2002).

Charles J. Joanides, PhD., LMFT, When You Intermarry: A Resource for Inter-Christian, Intercultural Couples, Parents and Families (New York: Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, 2002). Catholics aren’t the only ones with this issue. With Greeks it is not just faith but ethnicity and culture as well.

Sandra L. Stanko, United in Heart, Divided in Faith: A Guide for Catholic-Protestant Couples (Allen, TX: Sun Creek Books, 2003). Catholic wife in a mixed marriage.

A paper adopted by the Second World Gathering of interchurch families from eleven countries held in Rome in July 2003, Interchurch Families and Christian Unity (London: British Association of Interchurch Families, 2003).

Charles J. Joanides, PhD., LMFT, Ministering To Intermarried Couples: A Resource for Clergy and Lay Workers (New York: Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, 2004).

 

[Trudy_Whittaker]

Hi Catherine,

I grew up in a Catholic family. Only one of the five of us married a Catholic. He is the only one that does not attend Church, and whose children don’t either.

Two spouses converted to the Catholic Church, one of my siblings attends the Anglican church her the children have been raised Anglican.

All the other children have been raised Catholic, attended Catholic schools, etc.

My four of my children are married. My eldest married a Quaker, who is very supportive of her Catholic faith. He attends church much more faithfully than the Catholic husband of my 2nd daughter, who seemed very devout when they met, but who has fallen away from practising the faith.

My point is that a lot depends on the individual involved. Does he have a mature faith in Our Saviour? Does he trust in both you and God?

I was able to support my husband’s journey, which eventually led him into the Catholic Church because I trusted God to lead him, and I trusted in my husband’s honesty and intergrity.

For my husband, getting hold of Father Hardon’s cathechism slowed his journey into the faith, which was a good thing. He discovered Catholic teachings that he had to wrestle with, which were nor easy for him to accept. That means that when he did convert, there were no surprises, no hidden issues that he had not examined.

My husband’s journey did lead him back to a positive experience with the church of his childhood. It was like God was patiently resolving everything so that my husband’s eventual acceptance into the Catholic church would be completely without regrets.

We both praise our heavenly Father who took such good care of two mixed up youngsters, and has blessed our marriage so. I know that God will bless you too.

Trudy

 

[Julianna]

My mother (southern Baptist) father Catholic, married at the first pew in 1956. Me and my siblings were all raised Catholic. We were also taken to my mothers church as well. And we went to my southern grandmothers home, we attended the Baptist church one weekend, and the Catholic church of her neighbors the next. I was not confused, I didn’t grow horns on my head, and my siblings and I are Catholic. My mother never converted. My mother made my communion dress and asked questions if she didn’t understand something. My father did not attend the Baptist church, nor did he have a problem with my mother taking us to it. Mom went to Mass on occasion, but not all the time. My southern Baptist grandmother disapproved alot…but my mother made a promise…and she fullfilled that promise. I know alot of bible verses and songs, thanks to my Baptist grandmother. I believe I received the best of both worlds…it has made me think for myself and understand that there are many paths, but one journey to Christ. He wants us to come to HIM, one path, says no drinking, no dancing, no statues and is literal translation in the scriptures…the other sacraments outward signs of God’s grace…traditional rites…the Eucharist as the heart of the mass… You all may bash me for this…but different faiths can be a complement to marriage and raising children in the real world. Bottom line…Jesus loves us…we are all his children.

My dad passed away this May. He and mom would have been married 50 yrs this past Sept. I married a Catholic, my sister married a Methodist (my nephew was raised Catholic) and my brother married a Church of Nazerene. My sister is Catholic…and my brother and sis in law are now Baptist. I love my siblings and we often talk of faith, spirit…we leave “religion” out of it. Good luck to you. Talk things out before hand…don’t wait for surprises…and don’t let anyone demonize your faith practice or your fiancee’s.

 

[Lila_Jane]

Catherine,

Each situation is different. I have been married to a nominal Presbyterian for 13 years now and we have three kids: 9, 6 and 3. All were baptized at the Catholic and the older two attend CCD. My 9 has received his First Communion and attends Mass weekly. 6 has started to come most weeks. Wifey almost never comes and invariably is bothered by bad music, foreign priests whom she can’t understand or something else that has nothing to do with worship. We pray each night before bed but not at meals as that would make her parents uncomfortable when we eat with them. Christmas Mass is a BIG DEAL and I literally have to fight to get there because of the time conflicts with dinner and gifts. I’m not kidding.

I told my wife a week before we found out we were expecting 3 that if I had known then what I know now I would not marry her.

Married C-P couples must look at the glass as 3/4-full and while not ignoring the differences concentrate on the similarities.

Here is a list of writings to consider:

James A. Pike, If You Marry Outside Your faith: Counsel on Mixed Marriages (New York, NY: Harper & Brothers, 1954 revised 1962). Protestant

C. Stanley Lowell, Protestant-Catholic Marriage, (Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1962). Protestant

John King Mussio and others, Mixed Marriage: An Honest Appraisal (St. Meinrad, IN:Abbey Press, 1966). RC

A.M.J. Kreykamp O.P. and Isaac C. Rottenberg, Protestant-Catholic Marriages: Interpreted by Pastors and Priests (Philadelphia, PA: Westminster Press, 1967).RC-Dutch Reform

Paul and Jeanne Simon, Protestant-Catholic Marriages Can Succeed (New York, NY: Association Press, 1967). Mixed couple

Alasdair Heron, Two Churches-One Love: Interchurch Marriage between Protestants and Roman Catholics (Dublin: APCK by Beacon Printing Co. Ltd., 1977). Protestant clergyman scholar

Theresa Rebeck, Catholic Update: ‘Mixed’ Marriages: Helping Interfaith Couples Grow (Cincinnati: St. Anthony Messenger Press, 1981).

Richard M. Lawless, When Love Unites the Church: A Look at Protestant-Catholic Marriage (St. Meinrad, IN:Abbey Press, 1982). RC hubby in mixed marriage

Barbara D. Schiappa, Mixing: Catholic-Protestant Marriages in the 1980s A Guidebook for Couples and Families (Ramsey, NJ: Paulist Press, 1982). Wife in mixed marriage

Michael Lawler, Ecumenical Marriage & Remarriage: Gifts and Challenges to the Churches (Mystic, CT:Twenty-Third Publications, 1990). Former RC priest, not the most EWTN guy out there.

Elizabeth Bookser Barkley, Catholic Update: Interchurch Marriages: How to Help Them Succeed (Cincinnati: St. Anthony Messenger Press, 1990).

George Kilcourse, Double Belonging: Interchurch Families and Christian Unity (New York/Mahwah: Paulist Press, 1992). Priest who used to be Ecumenical Officer in his diocese. Pastoral but not necessarily orthodox in all areas.

Report of the National Dialogue between the Roman Catholic Church and the Uniting Church in Australia, Interchurch Marriages: Their Ecumenical Challenge and Significance for Our Churches, (Strathfield NSW: St. Paul’s Publications, 1999).

Center for Marriage and Family, Ministry To Interchurch Marriages: A Summary Report, (Omaha: Creighton University, 1999). Research by before mentioned Dr. Lawler. Found that mopst couples are same church within 5 years of a mixed marriage. Divorce is higher but not definite between mixed couples.

Center for Marriage and Family, Building Relationship, Interaction, Decision-making, Growth and Enrichment Through Spirituality (BRIDGES), (Omaha: Creighton University, 2002). Tool for mixed couples.

John C. Bush and Patrick R. Cooney, eds. Catholic/Reformed Dialogue in the United States, Interchurch Families: Resources for Ecumenical Hope, (Louisville/London: Westminster John Knox Press, 2002).

Charles J. Joanides, PhD., LMFT, When You Intermarry: A Resource for Inter-Christian, Intercultural Couples, Parents and Families (New York: Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, 2002). Catholics aren’t the only ones with this issue. With Greeks it is not just faith but ethnicity and culture as well.

Sandra L. Stanko, United in Heart, Divided in Faith: A Guide for Catholic-Protestant Couples (Allen, TX: Sun Creek Books, 2003). Catholic wife in a mixed marriage.

A paper adopted by the Second World Gathering of interchurch families from eleven countries held in Rome in July 2003, Interchurch Families and Christian Unity (London: British Association of Interchurch Families, 2003).

Charles J. Joanides, PhD., LMFT, Ministering To Intermarried Couples: A Resource for Clergy and Lay Workers (New York: Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, 2004).

 

[Lila_Jane]

Yes it is hard. My husband is Catholic…the children haven’t missed a Sunday…the oldest is 25. But, I wouldn’t recommed it to anyone. I’m Baptist and have always felt undermined and unvalidated. My husband and I both agree we would not do it over. The Catholic must be validated but, the protestant doesn’t matter.