Marry a Muslim?

[severus68]

I live in a country where 95% of the population is Muslim,it is difficult to find a catholic spouse in a place like Pakistan.
Supposedly,if i fall in love with a Muslim,will it be against the Church teachings? What about my children,and their faith because I want them to be Catholic… it is VERRY difficult to find catholics where I live and i need some advice where i can interact with Christians so that i can find my soul mate?

I need proper guidance.

Unfortunately, marrying a Muslim is not quite the same as marrying a Hindu, Buddhist etc. Depending on the interpretations held in Pakistan and whether you are a man or woman, you would either have to convert to Islam or at the least, you would have to live with your children being brought up as Muslims. There would be extreme difficulties, even a near practical impossibility, if you decide in future to go back to Catholicism.

You could try websites for international matchmaking sites.

 

[severus68]

In my opinion it is a bit unpatriotic to advise someone to leave his country without a very serious reason. Of course there is nothing wrong with emigration, but it should remain the exception. We should work to develop (and evangelize) our countries.

Seriously? You could try to openly evangelise in Pakistan and be dead within a short time. Nothing wrong with wanting to live a country where it is hard to get jobs etc and where practising your religion is very difficult and even dangerous.

 

[severus68]

You are a female, yes?

Pakistani is essentially Indian. You have Catholics in India. And in India Catholicism is associated with the middle-class.

If you don’t mind learning Spanish or Portuguese I would recommend considering visitations to Venezuela, Colombia, or Brazil. You’ll deal with Latin culture of machismo among the typical males though. But as long as they are serious about their vows of marriage that generally will be expressed in them not tolerating you cheating on them. If you’re raped or disrespected by another man they will hunt him down to do bodily injury on him or kill him. But they won’t harm you.

Here is a little sneak peak into two cultures.

Colombia: youtube.com/watch?v=TKdCbrEQLSc

Kerala India has Catholics in it.

Kerala: youtube.com/watch?v=JclqCqCUXBU

From Wikipedia.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_Kerala

While Pakistan was carved out of India by the British, Pakistan is not India and Pakistanis would not b happy to be called Indian.

I would think if the OP could go to other countries so easily, he/she would not have been asking our advice.

Not every Catholic woman would want to marry the kind of man you describe, even if he is Catholic.

 

[severus68]

First of all, I just want to say that after looking at my previous post I realize that my words could be seen as harsh if read by a person who is already in a mixed-faith marriage. My intentions were to illustrate the risks associated with such marriages to a person who was contemplating one, not to those who are already married in such a state. Heaven is most certainly not closed to people who happen to be married in mixed-faith marriages, but their salvation will be in spite of having entered into such a marriage not because of it.

I do, however, have to stand by my previous statement that while mixed-faith marriages are not intrinsically “sinful”, they do not come from God.

lxoa.wordpress.com/2010/09/01/a-catechism-on-vocations/

I would say that just being married to a fellow Catholic, does not get a person to heaven either.

Surely your quote does not come from the Vatican? Surely not. It talks about the evils of mixed marriages and if that were true, it would certainly apply to existing ones.

 

[severus68]

Please note that this person is expressing their personal opinion, and NOT the teaching of the church. NOWHERE has the church ever said that interfaith marriages are “not from God”. While, of course, the church prefers for Catholics to marry Catholics, it is not a problem to marry outside of the faith as long as your spouse agrees to raise your children as Catholics.

Let me repeat, because I cannot stress this enough:

NOWHERE HAS THE CHURCH EVER SAID THAT MIXED FAITH MARRIAGES ARE "NOT FROM GOD“.

I agree.

 

[severus68]

Mixed marriages are forbidden by canon law but you can have a dispens. So it is forbidden with exceptions. forbitten = not good.

That is not quite accurate. If you want to marry a non Catholic in church, you need a dispensation. It is given as a matter of course provided the non Catholic spouse gives the assurance that he/she will not interfere with his/her spouse’s practice of her/his religion and that all children of the marriage will be brought up as Catholics.

 

[Elisabethelisa]

No way for me! Never ever!
First your kids will have to be muslim, there is a LOT of chance your husband or his family will force you to convert.
I’ve tried it myself. I’ve been with that guy for almost 4 years, we were engaged, bought an apartment…etc. I thought I loved him so I made lots of compromises. I even forgot I was born and raised catholic like my 7 brothers and sisters.
My mum did not like him at all, mostly because he became a muslim convert a few months before we met. Its sooooo “popular” in France right now! ( I should have listened to her ) I ended up breaking the engagement for a lot of reasons, but also because I couldn’t take the : “I can’t practice my religion properly because of you!”

But anyway, there is way too much difference between Islam and Catholicism.
I’ve been single for almost 2 years now. I wish I was not, because its hard sometimes to think there is no one to love you, no one to share your happiness or sadness with. But I’ve settled so much for less that I’ve betrayed God and all I’ve been learning from my family and my church.
There is no going back for me. I believe and trust God more than anything and I know there is someone out there for me and for you who will match our expectations and God’s ones.
Keep praying.

 

[EasterJoy]

Muslims forbid women from marrying outside their faith, but not men, because while a Muslim man can be trusted to allow his Jewish or Christian wife to worship according to her own faith–this is what the letter of the Muslim tradition requires, at least (but only for the other two monotheistic religions, not all religions in general)-- a non-Muslim man is not felt to be reliable to do that, putting the Muslim woman in a mixed marriage the impossible situation of having to obey a spouse who won’t let her worship rightly.

A mixed marriage in a pluralistic society, to a person who is supportive of raising their child in your faith: that is one thing. If you want to raise Catholic children in a country that is 95% Muslim, though–or fill in the blank with anything other than Catholic–you’ll almost certainly fail if you marry anyone other than another Catholic. Don’t get into an intimate friendship with a Muslim man, and you won’t “fall in love” with one.

There is a saying “Don’t marry for money. Hang around rich people, and marry for love.” Socialize in circles where there are men who would make a good father to your children, and then see who you fall in love with, or who the “matchmakers” in your circle find for you!

 

[nida007]

If you have access to the internet there are Catholic online dating services out there.I strongly suggest this. Marrying a muslim and trying to practice Christianity in such a hostile country to the faith could get you very dead,very fast

Well ive heard Catholic Math isnt very catholic but ive hear AveMaria is great,they do ask for a fee though and for now m looking for something that is free of cost…hmmmmm

 

[nida007]

Are people even allowed to publicly “evangelize” Christianity in Pakistan? Wouldn’t that be against the blasphemy laws?

Yes its not allowed to evangelize out in the open as it would be against the laws here.
My situatipon is very different though,I have family who are Muslims and im the only catholic in my family and I hardly have catholic friends here where i live.
I hope and pray God opensn doors for me…

 

[grasscutter]

Yes its not allowed to evangelize out in the open as it would be against the laws here.
My situatipon is very different though,I have family who are Muslims and im the only catholic in my family and I hardly have catholic friends here where i live.
I hope and pray God opensn doors for me…

I happily offer my prayers for you! May God bless and provide you with the graces you need according to His Will. :hug1:

 

[severus68]

Yes its not allowed to evangelize out in the open as it would be against the laws here.
My situatipon is very different though,I have family who are Muslims and im the only catholic in my family and I hardly have catholic friends here where i live.
I hope and pray God opensn doors for me…

Well, its great your family members do not pressure you into converting to Islam. Perhaps you could move to an area where there are more Catholics/Christians? A poster cited a Pakistani matchmaking site for Catholics that you could look at.

God bless.

 

[severus68]

No way for me! Never ever!
First your kids will have to be muslim, there is a LOT of chance your husband or his family will force you to convert.
I’ve tried it myself. I’ve been with that guy for almost 4 years, we were engaged, bought an apartment…etc. I thought I loved him so I made lots of compromises. I even forgot I was born and raised catholic like my 7 brothers and sisters.
My mum did not like him at all, mostly because he became a muslim convert a few months before we met. Its sooooo “popular” in France right now! ( I should have listened to her ) I ended up breaking the engagement for a lot of reasons, but also because I couldn’t take the : “I can’t practice my religion properly because of you!”

But anyway, there is way too much difference between Islam and Catholicism.
I’ve been single for almost 2 years now. I wish I was not, because its hard sometimes to think there is no one to love you, no one to share your happiness or sadness with. But I’ve settled so much for less that I’ve betrayed God and all I’ve been learning from my family and my church.

God bless. Glad you got out in time. I am not a bigot but I have heard enough stories of Muslim husbands taking their children to their home Muslim country and even kidnapping their children.
There is no going back for me. I believe and trust God more than anything and I know there is someone out there for me and for you who will match our expectations and God’s ones.
Keep praying.

 

[severus68]

Muslims forbid women from marrying outside their faith, but not men, because while a Muslim man can be trusted to allow his Jewish or Christian wife to worship according to her own faith–this is what the letter of the Muslim tradition requires, at least (but only for the other two monotheistic religions, not all religions in general)-- a non-Muslim man is not felt to be reliable to do that, putting the Muslim woman in a mixed marriage the impossible situation of having to obey a spouse who won’t let her worship rightly.

A mixed marriage in a pluralistic society, to a person who is supportive of raising their child in your faith: that is one thing. If you want to raise Catholic children in a country that is 95% Muslim, though–or fill in the blank with anything other than Catholic–you’ll almost certainly fail if you marry anyone other than another Catholic. Don’t get into an intimate friendship with a Muslim man, and you won’t “fall in love” with one.

There is a saying “Don’t marry for money. Hang around rich people, and marry for love.” Socialize in circles where there are men who would make a good father to your children, and then see who you fall in love with, or who the “matchmakers” in your circle find for you!

You are right but there is more to that. The Muslim husband can ensure that the children are Muslim, he can not be pressured by his non Muslim wife to convert. Its about women being seen as the lesser, weaker sex.

Some countries take the view that the Christian woman a Muslim man can marry must be descended from people who were living at the time of Christ.

 

[grasscutter]

Well, its great your family members do not pressure you into converting to Islam. Perhaps you could move to an area where there are more Catholics/Christians? A poster cited a Pakistani matchmaking site for Catholics that you could look at.

God bless.

Ummm… didn’t you also berate a poster by stating that moving may not be a simple option. Consistency please.

 

[severus68]

Ummm… didn’t you also berate a poster by stating that moving may not be a simple option. Consistency please.

Within Pakistan. I said area not to another country. I did not berate anyone. It is a fact that the vast majority of people can’t emigrate to a wealthier country and cannot afford to go overseas for holidays let alone for finding a spouse.

 

[Elisabethelisa]

@servus
God bless. Glad you got out in time. I am not a bigot but I have heard enough stories of Muslim husbands taking their children to their home Muslim country and even kidnapping their children.
Thank you. Gob bless you too.

And you’re right about children being kidnapped and most of the time if not always, there is nothing you can do. There is that French girl who was Jewish. She fell in love with a guy from the royal family of Saudi Arabia. Long story short, they had a long on and off relationship, she got pregnant. One day he told her to go on holidays in his home country, they locked the mother away for months before she could escape. The little girl is considered to be a princess and Muslim… Even the French embassy would not do anything. She came back to France and right before she was about to get a child back she was found dead in a mysterious accident. She fell out of her balcony. I wonder if the girl even knows her mother is dead.
lefigaro.fr/actualite-france/2012/08/17/01016-20120817ARTFIG00512-mort-suspecte-d-une-femme-qui-se-battait-pour-voir-sa-fille.php

It can happen to anyone anyway.
As for France and the UK most of the time Christian in general are treated like s… Muslim boys will use them to play, considering they are easy then they get married to a so called nice and pure Muslim girl sometimes coming directly from Algeria, Marroco, Tunisia, Pakistan…etc
Marrying a non catholic? Really not a good idea.

 

[severus68]

@servus
God bless. Glad you got out in time. I am not a bigot but I have heard enough stories of Muslim husbands taking their children to their home Muslim country and even kidnapping their children.
Thank you. Gob bless you too.

And you’re right about children being kidnapped and most of the time if not always, there is nothing you can do. There is that French girl who was Jewish. She fell in love with a guy from the royal family of Saudi Arabia. Long story short, they had a long on and off relationship, she got pregnant. One day he told her to go on holidays in his home country, they locked the mother away for months before she could escape. The little girl is considered to be a princess and Muslim… Even the French embassy would not do anything. She came back to France and right before she was about to get a child back she was found dead in a mysterious accident. She fell out of her balcony. I wonder if the girl even knows her mother is dead.
lefigaro.fr/actualite-france/2012/08/17/01016-20120817ARTFIG00512-mort-suspecte-d-une-femme-qui-se-battait-pour-voir-sa-fille.php

It can happen to anyone anyway.
As for France and the UK most of the time Christian in general are treated like s… Muslim boys will use them to play, considering they are easy then they get married to a so called nice and pure Muslim girl sometimes coming directly from Algeria, Marroco, Tunisia, Pakistan…etc
Marrying a non catholic? Really not a good idea.

That is very sad about that Jewish girl. God help and guide her little girl.

I agree on what you have said happens. I know it happens in the UK and other countries, While there are exceptions, it is the pull of a kind of culture. Drink, play around but when you decide to repent, all bets are off. They can become the most fundamental Muslims. This happens in other religions as well including Christianity - this idea that you can use force, that what you believe in is the only right, whether or that it is objectively true. The difference with Islam is that there are countries which will protect and shelter wrongdoers/kidnappers as they are Muslim.

I would advise not to marry a Muslim.

 

[Pitcharan]

I live in a country where 95% of the population is Muslim,it is difficult to find a catholic spouse in a place like Pakistan.
Supposedly,if i fall in love with a Muslim,will it be against the Church teachings? What about my children,and their faith because I want them to be Catholic… it is VERRY difficult to find catholics where I live and i need some advice where i can interact with Christians so that i can find my soul mate?

I need proper guidance.

Several years ago, one day I was feeling uneasy that one of my sister’s was married to a Muslim boy after falling in love. I prayed and opened the Bible and this is the verse (bold) that caught my eyes : Jesse was the father of Eliab his firstborn; the second son was Abinadab, the third Shimea, the fourth Nethanel, the fifth Raddai, the sixth Ozem and the seventh David. Their sisters were Zeruiah and Abigail. Zeruiah’s three sons were Abishai, Joab and Asahel. Abigail was the mother of Amasa, whose father was Jether the Ishmaelite. (1Chr 2:13-16)

I said to myself: if the sister of David, a man after God’s own heart, could marry an Ishmaelite, then why can’t my sister marry one?

Now it has turned out that it is one of the best things that happened in our family and my sister’s family lives in harmony and love.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

It’s sad to see some of these answers.

If you find a good Muslim man who loves you, treats you right, and would make a good father than by all means, go for it. Just be sure to talk extensively on how you will raise children, attend church, handle extended families, etc. I’m going to go all MLK here and say that we should judge people on the content of their character, not write off an entire group as being dangerous or evil.