I agree that your number one priority should be to finish your school. You’re right, when you’re my age, you won’t be a high fashion model anymore. Even Heidi Klum has left Victoria Secrets and she’s still a very beautiful woman
Heidi is not even 40 yet.I wouldn’t base my decision about marriage (i.e. marry right now, marry this person and not the other) on that. If you were looking for dating advice, I certainly wouldn’t suggest you go as far as dating people close to 50 when you’ve barely crossed 20. If it happens, proverbially, (i.e. you’ve fallen in love, you believe you’ve found the right man etc.) then you need to work from there. On the other hand, if you’re simply looking for a man to start a family with because you believe that would be a good thing to do right now, then I definitely would suggest sticking closer to your own age range.As for me dating people close to my age (or even late twenties) I have tried that before but we are at different points in our lives. I mean, a lot of these men still rent and I have been paying my own mortgage since I was 18 or 19.
He in fact, has meet my friends and they get along fine. Its cute seeing them interact… At the end of the day, he always tells them to look after me. I have no problem with his friends either because I am accustomed to socializing with older people.
I don’t agree that just being an Italian male makes one prone to bad temperment. That is a negative stereotype, which is not true for “most” Italian men.Runwaymodel,
I too am married to an Italian Canadian man. I would like to re-inforce your opinion of an Italian man. They are extremely family oriented and loyal…extremely loyal. They will do anything for their family. The love they have for family is amazing. They especially love “mama” and if “mama” likes you, then you are in
Italians are volatile in temperament usually. My husband can go from being calm to angry in a matter of seconds. I am French, so I too am volatile. I have to admit though that we are sometimes verbally abusive to eachother and I’m in counselling to deal with my outbursts and to learn how to cope with his. I feel bad for my kids
Your boyfriend may not come across as being temperamental now b/c he’s been dating you for only one year, but watch for signs for it b/c most Italian men are a little “spicy” in temperament. If you are ok with this kind of temperament, then that’s ok, but if you want to marry someone who will always be calm, then be on a lookout for the way his family is or how he acts when he’s angry with someone in his family.
Just a heads up b/c my husband didn’t show his temperamental side until we were married. Now that I look back, there were definitely signs.
Regardless, I’m happily married and love him to bits, despite our dysfunction.
People make the common mistake of thinking Sicilian and Italian are the same thing.
Not really…I used the word “many”, “some”, etc.
Sicily is an island on the West side of Italy at the bottom of the boot in the South, just off the province of Vibo Valente.
**Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. It sounds like you were blessed with a very lovely and accepting man. I am very happy for you. I think it is very sweet how you two joke about the age difference.
Now to answer a few of your questions: He treats his Mother very well. He loves her dearly. The fact that I am extremely close to my family is something he adores. He is Italian and Italians are very close with their families and quite traditional. He makes me laugh a lot by the way he says certain things and tells stories. But I think I make him laugh more. I am a very positive and perky person so I laugh and smile a lot.
As for his job, he would never neglect me if we already had plans for lets say, a client or business meetings (like he likes to put it, there are eager young men willing to do that same work for him in order climb the ladder) and has dropped everything to come and be supportive for me in New York for my career (when I was there for a shoot). I told him once, “work is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it at the end of the day”. It really doesn’t worry me. We share the same mentality and have discussed this before.
As for me dating people close to my age (or even late twenties) I have tried that before but we are at different points in our lives. I mean, a lot of these men still rent and I have been paying my own mortgage since I was 18 or 19.
He in fact, has meet my friends and they get along fine. Its cute seeing them interact… At the end of the day, he always tells them to look after me. I have no problem with his friends either because I am accustomed to socializing with older people.
Yes, that is all true. I feel very good about it, especially now.Sometimes a girl just wants some advice: thats why we go to our Moms. I have discussed this with her as well and she is very approving. But like I said before, you all give great logical, no nonsense advice which I like.
Italians are very family oriented and passionate. I love that. And yes, I have seen him on the phone for a conference call and he does get a little spirited, but nothing over the top. I can be more fiery than him, especially if I am watching something on TV or talking about politics or even fashion. Haha. But yes, Italian men are quite traditional and very loving and affectionate.
I do Kathryn Ann. I do appreciate the stability, security, and maturity that comes with an older man. I want someone who is my equal in many aspects. Not just that, like I mentioned before, he keeps me grounded. He likes it when I don’t wear makeup and skip on the stilettos. He makes me feel comfortable and isnt one of those men who date models because they are models.
You make a lot of excellent points, especially in the bolded parts. I must say, I didn’t go out looking to date a man of his age. Yes, I prefer older but we almost didn’t happen because he thought I would get scared off by the age difference, and I thought the same at first (that he would treat me awkwardly because of my youth) until we started talking.
Whatever you choose to do, never lose that… unless it’s a change that’s natural to you. Sadly I’ve known quite a few people who gave up truly wonderful aspects of themselves, simply because their spouses looked down upon those very same things.
I agree with you 100%. We all have our little things that make us endearing and others laugh.
I still do this and I’m 40
I still do this and I’m 40
I see.
Don’t worry. You have the right to feel satisfaction from your achievements, just remember other people may shine in different areas while being somewhat weak where your strenghts lie. And it’s understandable that you want someone with the kind of independence that you appreciate in your own life.
That’s understandable, although equality in every respect is simply not achievable and I’ll explain why in a while. In fact, people are so different from each other that equality can be found only in a one or two or several aspects at most but not everything. And equality of current standing doesn’t mean equality of talent. It’s like when you want to create equality in a society: you can force people in an equal position regardless of their talent (which means they get unequal treatment in the process of enforcing effective equality) or you can give them an equal start (from which they’ll achieve a variety of different results based on individual talents). Similarly, someone aged 40 may be in an equal economic standing with you (if we forget about mutual funds, retirement plans, return from long-term investments etc.) but that doesn’t necessarily mean equal responsibility or frugality or business skills or perseverance in hard work (he or she has had much more time to get there).
Yeah, I was wondering if it was like you say it is or if you simply suffered from some kind of rebound caused by disappointment with men from your age range, and in the latter case it would be a huge mistake to hasten into marriage, as with any kind of rebound, and you could regret later. As they say, marry in haste, repent at leisure. This applies also to the very intelligent people who nonetheless lack life experience.
You do need to take that into account. It is probably inevitable that a husband twice older than you would many a time give you the impression of being another father figure in your life rather than one similar to your brothers (including older if you have any). If it doesn’t show now, it may and probably will show in the future. You may also begin to miss the certain qualities that you can find in people your age (half of the reason I’m so cautious myself with regard to age range), including the men that you will only yet meet while you’re married, some of how can very much have the non-negotiables that you aren’t currently able to find in your age range. This is the same problem as always when choosing a partner on the basis of a specific quality (which works like a benchmark): sooner or later there’s bound to show up someone who has more of that quality. It’s like men saying, “Don’t show off your car to her, she has doubtless seen better.” There will always be someone who has more of the same. This is different only when you’re after a specific person for that person’s sake.
Which is why you need a careful due diligence study. Which contains the same information a litigator’s instinct can provide in a matter of seconds without any conscious effort.
psssh…lawyers…I see.
Don’t worry. You have the right to feel satisfaction from your achievements, just remember other people may shine in different areas while being somewhat weak where your strenghts lie. And it’s understandable that you want someone with the kind of independence that you appreciate in your own life.
That’s understandable, although equality in every respect is simply not achievable and I’ll explain why in a while. In fact, people are so different from each other that equality can be found only in a one or two or several aspects at most but not everything. And equality of current standing doesn’t mean equality of talent. It’s like when you want to create equality in a society: you can force people in an equal position regardless of their talent (which means they get unequal treatment in the process of enforcing effective equality) or you can give them an equal start (from which they’ll achieve a variety of different results based on individual talents). Similarly, someone aged 40 may be in an equal economic standing with you (if we forget about mutual funds, retirement plans, return from long-term investments etc.) but that doesn’t necessarily mean equal responsibility or frugality or business skills or perseverance in hard work (he or she has had much more time to get there).
You could also take into account that modeling is a front-loaded job in the sense that you get most of the benefits when you’re young, much in the same way as a sports player,after which one basically stays in the same industry with the addition of a management degree, or starts coaching, or something like that. This is the opposite of someone who slaves away 80-100 hour weeks as a nobody after living indebted in a basement through post-grad in order to make a name when by the time he’s 40 (exceptions happen but more so in politics than in business or science). In short, different career paths give returns at different times and at a different pace. Thus it is somewhat natural that a future doctor or lawyer or corporate executive or military officer makes much less and is less recognisable now than you are.
Yeah, I was wondering if it was like you say it is or if you simply suffered from some kind of rebound caused by disappointment with men from your age range, and in the latter case it would be a huge mistake to hasten into marriage, as with any kind of rebound, and you could regret later. As they say, marry in haste, repent at leisure. This applies also to the very intelligent people who nonetheless lack life experience.
You do need to take that into account. It is probably inevitable that a husband twice older than you would many a time give you the impression of being another father figure in your life rather than one similar to your brothers (including older if you have any). If it doesn’t show now, it may and probably will show in the future. You may also begin to miss the certain qualities that you can find in people your age (half of the reason I’m so cautious myself with regard to age range), including the men that you will only yet meet while you’re married, some of how can very much have the non-negotiables that you aren’t currently able to find in your age range. This is the same problem as always when choosing a partner on the basis of a specific quality (which works like a benchmark): sooner or later there’s bound to show up someone who has more of that quality. It’s like men saying, “Don’t show off your car to her, she has doubtless seen better.” There will always be someone who has more of the same. This is different only when you’re after a specific person for that person’s sake.
Which is why you need a careful due diligence study. Which contains the same information a litigator’s instinct can provide in a matter of seconds without any conscious effort.
