Marrying syro-malabar orphans

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Anglewannabe said:
Just curious but if I woman thinks you are ugly, gets to know you and falls in love with your kindness but still does not like your looks, but wants to marry you and bear your children, is she disqualified for not liking your looks?

yes,she should be atleast a bit attracted to what she sees

Then why do I know so many faithful woman, married to average looking guys who aren’t rich men ?

dependability,theres no attraction though.I can imagine those marriages are sexually frigid.

This seems like an odd system. If a person is disabled in Canada, it means they can’t work. If the same person returns to work, they are no longer considered disabled and loose all disability benefits

Am I suppose to believe that if a person in the Netherlands is disabled, they get special government benefits for the rest of their life even when they return to work? What is the incentive to get better? Wouldn’t everyone find a disability 🤷

I will only look for a wife after I get a job and apartment wich will be the next two years.if i ever lose my Job I will get 70% of what i earned even if I didnt have a ‘‘disability’’(OCD,autism,paranoia),the Netherlands has a great safety net.
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this forum thinks I want to buy a wife!lol I want the woman to like me for my looks first and foremost.that should be the reason she married me.actual attraction.I dont want to be ‘‘Beta bucks’’.
 
I wasn’t Catholic at this time.my grandmother raised me protestant and I became an atheist for a few yrs,when I had my relationships.I came back to christ,stopped fornicating,and want a wife to fulfill my needs,among other things,it doesnt mean I consider her a sex toy,just a guard against fornication,I will love her and treat her like a queen.
 
I’ll try:
OP, if you need sex that badly, you need a psychiatrist to help you get over your sex addiction. You most definitely do not need a wife until you are cured of that.

You marry a person for that person. When you marry them, they come first. Sex is great but again the other person comes first. I cannot see how you could put a wife first with your outlook. Especially if she doesn’t want to have sex as often as you do. You think you would be willing to go for weeks without sex if you both needed to use NFP to avoid pregnancy? I don’t.
 
I’m really hoping this guy is just trolling because it’s concerning if he really thinks these things.
 
willymonfrete said:
All I see on this forum are judgemental first worlders who think I must suffer for the sake of some ideal.

there are 20-30 million orphans in india.most of them girls.its a shame to be an orphan in india.alot of them can’t get married because they can’t afford a dowry to the man,if they don’t pay the dowry alot of times they are divorced or killed.atleast among hindus.IDK how it is among catholics.but giving a dowry is still practiced by catholics there and orphan women stay single because they cant afford it.somebody must marry them.do you want that to be a reasonabely goodlooking,funny,kind young man or a old bussinessman or handicapped men that usually go for this?I would only marry a woman that likes me.

I will not accept a dowry but will give her a big dowry worth a few years of a average workers salary in india.

sorry if this doesnt viber well but the alternative is being single forever until a magic unicorn pious catholic wife comes along wich is impossible logistically where I live.
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If you are concerned for the welfare of orphan Indian girls, gift them the money for a dowry so they can choose a husband when they are ready. Do it anonymously. That would be the Christian thing to do.
 
ShrodingersCat said:
I’ll try:
OP, if you need sex that badly, you need a psychiatrist to help you get over your sex addiction. You most definitely do not need a wife until you are cured of that.

You marry a person for that person. When you marry them, they come first. Sex is great but again the other person comes first. I cannot see how you could put a wife first with your outlook. Especially if she doesn’t want to have sex as often as you do. You think you would be willing to go for weeks without sex if you both needed to use NFP to avoid pregnancy? I don’t.
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So how do you reckon a autistic creepy loser (but atleast not ugly)like myself finds a catholic practicing wife that Im atleast a bit attracted to?or do I not deserve it?should I become a monk then?castrate myself?Im sorry Im not perfect,I really am.Im sorry I dont have magical social skills or charisma to attract a unicorn practicing catholic wife in a decadent atheist country.

Im sorry I cant wait decades for a magic moment where a woman strikes up a conversation-leading-to a date at the local church.

Im sorry if I think arranged marriages as long as both parties freely and truly consent are a great deal,if I failed at finding an indian wife Id pay a match making service elsewhere.
 
willymonfrete said:
I wasnt christian when I had those relationships.
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It was the comment about sullying the catholic dating pool that people were referring to. As if somehow having sex with women of other religions was somehow different.
 
ShrodingersCat said:
It was the comment about sullying the catholic dating pool that people were referring to. As if somehow having sex with women of other religions was somehow different.
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I was an atheist/new ager when I had those relationships.I didnt go into them intending for them to end.they just did,like most relationship in the modern society.

if it makes you feel better Im still friends with both of them.
 
willymonfrete said:
So how do you reckon a autistic creepy loser (but atleast not ugly)like myself finds a catholic practicing wife that Im atleast a bit attracted to?or do I not deserve it?should I become a monk then?castrate myself?Im sorry Im not perfect,I really am.Im sorry I dont have magical social skills or charisma to attract a unicorn practicing catholic wife in a decadent atheist country.

Im sorry I cant wait decades for a magic moment where a woman strikes up a conversation-leading-to a date at the local church.

Im sorry if I think arranged marriages as long as both parties freely and truly consent are a great deal,if I failed at finding an indian wife Id pay a match making service elsewhere.
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I didn’t say you were any of those things. I said to get help so that you fix your attitudes towards women. There is no stigma (or shouldn’t be) with seeing counselors nowadays - be brave and admit you have an unhealthy attitude towards sex. Fix it and then consider dating.

Also I don’t have a problem with consensual arranged marriages. I have a problem with people marrying because they are young and vulnerable and I have a problem with people marrying because they have a warped idea of what marriage is.
 
ShrodingersCat said:
I didn’t say you were any of those things. I said to get help so that you fix your attitudes towards women. There is no stigma (or shouldn’t be) with seeing counselors nowadays - be brave and admit you have an unhealthy attitude towards sex. Fix it and then consider dating.

Also I don’t have a problem with consensual arranged marriages. I have a problem with people marrying because they are young and vulnerable and I have a problem with people marrying because they have a warped idea of what marriage is.
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okay thanks,What should I change in regards to my view on women?Im asking because if I come across as chauvinistic thats not my intention.I view women as people to be cherished and adored.
 
willymonfrete said:
What if Im just more attracted to indian women lookswise and personality wise?my ex-gf was pakistani and that was a good relationship,I wouldve married her if she werent muslim.I would marry a non-orphan catholic indian too.I think indian women are drop dead gorgeous especially the southern darker ones.
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Good news: there are South Asian women (including Christians) in the US!

Edited to add: I see you’re in the Netherlands. Bummer.
 
willymonfrete said:
I want a woman that likes me primarily for my looks and kind character,not money.but I will be the breadwinner and I dont mind being a breadwinner to a orphan girl.you act like its not a choice on their part of as if Im not likeable,its just a logistics issue.arranged marriage is much easier,and I need marriage to avoid fornication.

you think I wouldn’t make sure she really likes me?
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How could you tell with the culture barrier and having limited time to work with?

It would be astronomically expensive (in terms of lost work days) to stay in India long enough to figure that out.
 
You need to accept that no one is entitled to sex or a spouse and getting a wife is not like getting a dog.
 
Xantippe said:
How could you tell with the culture barrier and having limited time to work with?

It would be astronomically expensive (in terms of lost work days) to stay in India long enough to figure that out.
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India is one of the cheapest places on earth.I can save more than enough even before I get my degree.
 
Are you in a position to even legally bring back a foreign born spouse to your home country? I know people with relatives there and even holiday visas are tricky. Would you move to India?
 
willymonfrete said:
okay thanks,What should I change in regards to my view on women?Im asking because if I come across as chauvinistic thats not my intention.I view women as people to be cherished and adored.
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I don’t think people on the internet can help you. A counselor can. It’s too difficult to work through these things online. These forums are great for quotes from the Catechism to answer specific questions but most other things require real life aid. I really hope you do work it out though.
 
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