Marrying syro-malabar orphans

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For most of human history couples met each other thru a 3rd party.modern day marriages end up in divorce more than half the time.people date each other for years and then break up.
This is actually not true. Even fifty percent is not true. The statistics are skewed by people who marry many, many times - each marriage counts once. Not that divorce isn’t a damaging thing, but you need to be very cautious about what exactly you are saying and if you’re interpreting things correctly. You’re being a very loose cannon here with stats and facts, and asserting that Bible passages, the Catechism, etc. say things they actually do not say.

Even arranged marriages, at least how I understand they are commonly practiced today, feature a “dating” period where potential spouses apply, are interviewed, etc. as if for a job. Potential spouses would be asked to supply information about their family history, medical history, employment history. How do you think you would measure up?

And again, I will reiterate that you need to get to know some real life married men, not men with sour grapes on the Internet.
 
This is actually not true. Even fifty percent is not true. The statistics are skewed by people who marry many, many times - each marriage counts once. Not that divorce isn’t a damaging thing, but you need to be very cautious about what exactly you are saying and if you’re interpreting things correctly. You’re being a very loose cannon here with stats and facts, and asserting that Bible passages, the Catechism, etc. say things they actually do not say.

Even arranged marriages, at least how I understand they are commonly practiced today, feature a “dating” period where potential spouses apply, are interviewed, etc. as if for a job. Potential spouses would be asked to supply information about their family history, medical history, employment history. How do you think you would measure up?

And again, I will reiterate that you need to get to know some real life married men, not men with sour grapes on the Internet.
Those are very good points.

The point about the “interview” aspect of arranged marriage is especially important. One of my online chums is from an Indian family, and that’s something she has mentioned–that the standards are, if anything, higher than for “love” matches.
 
This is actually not true. Even fifty percent is not true. The statistics are skewed by people who marry many, many times - each marriage counts once. Not that divorce isn’t a damaging thing, but you need to be very cautious about what exactly you are saying and if you’re interpreting things correctly. You’re being a very loose cannon here with stats and facts, and asserting that Bible passages, the Catechism, etc. say things they actually do not say.

Even arranged marriages, at least how I understand they are commonly practiced today, feature a “dating” period where potential spouses apply, are interviewed, etc. as if for a job. Potential spouses would be asked to supply information about their family history, medical history, employment history. How do you think you would measure up?

And again, I will reiterate that you need to get to know some real life married men, not men with sour grapes on the Internet.
It might also be worth taking a look at various divorce statistics. In modern marriages, younger, less-educated women are far more likely to lead to divorce. The best rates in the west involve both partners over 25 and close in age, with college educations and an ability to independently support themselves.
 
It might also be worth taking a look at various divorce statistics. In modern marriages, younger, less-educated women are far more likely to lead to divorce. The best rates in the west involve both partners over 25 and close in age, with college educations and an ability to independently support themselves.
Yes. Divorce statistics are very specific to demographics.
 
Those are very good points.

The point about the “interview” aspect of arranged marriage is especially important. One of my online chums is from an Indian family, and that’s something she has mentioned--that the standards are, if anything, higher than for “love” matches.

I’m wondering – would the Indian orphanages really check the standards/background of those who come to them looking for a wife. Especially men from other countries-- who may show up. The orphanage may think the guy coming from another country – may be good for the orphan girl – when he is not.
 
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Walking_Home:
I’m wondering – would the Indian orphanages really check the standards/background of those who come to them looking for a wife. Especially men from other countries-- who may show up. The orphanage may think the guy coming from another country – may be good for the orphan girl – when he is not.

Above I am speaking of a foreigner looking for a girl he can manipulate into servant/sex slave.
 
Firstly,I had already said I will not be looking for a orphan girl to marry anymore.

secondely,I will not be replying anymore to this thread,we have alot of heretics that call God a sex enslaver because he and his church insist on a mutual sexual obligation within a marriage.

when you quote scripture and magisterium to these heretics,they dont reply anything concerning the aforementioned data,but they simpely call you by feminist buzzwords and other rethoric.

St.Thomas Aquinas on the wife’s obligation to have sex with her husband if he asks,and vice-versa.

newadvent.org/summa/5064.htm see also casti connubbi paragraph 25.

On the contrary, As the slave is in the power of his master, so is one spouse in the power of the other (1 Corinthians 7:4). But a slave is bound by an obligation of precept to pay his master the debt of his service according to Romans 13:7, “Render . . . to all men their dues, tribute to whom tribute is due,” etc. Therefore husband and wife are mutually bound to the payment of the marriage debt.

Further, marriage is directed to the avoiding of fornication (1 Corinthians 7:2). But this could not be the effect of marriage, if the one were not bound to pay the debt to the other when the latter is troubled with concupiscence. Therefore the payment of the debt is an obligation of precept.

I answer that, Marriage was instituted especially as fulfilling an office of nature. Wherefore in its act the movement of nature must be observed according to which the nutritive power administers to the generative power that alone which is in excess of what is required for the preservation of the individual: for the natural order requires that a thing should be first perfected in itself, and that afterwards it should communicate of its perfection to others: and this is also the order of charity which perfects nature. And therefore, since the wife has power over her husband only in relation to the generative power and not in relation to things directed to the preservation of the individual, the husband is bound to pay the debt to his wife, in matters pertaining to the begetting of children, with due regard however to his own welfare.

Reply to Objection 1. It is possible through fulfilling a precept to render oneself unfit for the exercise of a sacred duty: thus a judge becomes irregular by sentencing a man to death. In like manner he who pays the marriage debt, in fulfillment of the precept, becomes unfit for the exercise of divine offices, not because the act in question is sinful, but on account of its carnal nature. And so, according to the Master (Sent. iv, D, 32), Jerome is speaking only of the ministers of the Church, and not of others who should be left to use their own discretion, because without sin they may either abstain out of reverence or receive Christ’s body out of devotion.

Reply to Objection 2. The wife has no power over her husband’s body, except as is consistent with the welfare of his person, as stated above. Wherefore if she go beyond this in her demands, it is not a request for the debt, but an unjust exaction; and for this reason the husband is not bound to satisfy her.

Reply to Objection 3. If the husband be rendered incapable of paying the debt through a cause consequent upon marriage, for instance through having already paid the debt and being unable to pay it, the wife has no right to ask again, and in doing so she behaves as a harlot rather than as a wife. But if he be rendered incapable through some other cause, then if this be a lawful cause, he is not bound, and she cannot ask, but if it be an unlawful cause, then he sins, and his wife’s sin, should she fall into fornication on this account, is somewhat imputable to him. Hence he should endeavor to do his best that his wife may remain continent.

Reply to Objection 4. Leprosy voids a betrothal but not a marriage. Wherefore a wife is bound to pay the debt even to a leprous husband. But she is not bound to cohabit with him, because she is not so liable to infection from marital intercourse as from continual cohabitation. And though the child begotten of them be diseased, it is better to be thus than not at all.

Casti connubi
  1. This mutual molding of husband and wife, this determined effort to perfect each other, can in a very real sense, as the Roman Catechism teaches, be said to be the chief reason and purpose of matrimony, provided matrimony be looked at not in the restricted sense as instituted for the proper conception and education of the child, but more widely as the blending of life as a whole and the mutual interchange and sharing thereof.
  2. By this same love it is necessary that all the other rights and duties of the marriage state be regulated as the words of the Apostle: “Let the husband render the debt to the wife, and the wife also in like manner to the husband,”[28] express not only a law of justice but of charity.
 
There is a big honesty/justice issue here.

OP, would your future wife have any idea what your expectations were?

Throw in the complication of a language barrier, a big cultural difference, and your autism, and it is very unlikely that a Syro-Malabar woman would be able to understand you or your ideas.

Do you know ANYTHING about that culture?
I already said that I’m not going to look for a orphan wife anymore,why do people keep bringing it up?

and even if I did,I would move over there if I could.
 
OP – you want the teachings of the Catholic Church – here is the link:

vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM

Again - I’m praying you don’t bamboozle an unsuspecting woman into marrying you.
Do you deny,casti connubi,1 Corinthians 7,and St.Thomas Aquinas,all accepted by the magisterium?

do you deny the existance of a marital debt within a marriage?

I would not marry woman that didn’t want to pay her debt to me,and if she didn’t after marriage I’d seek a annulment.
 
This just caught by eye --"both spouses have a marital obligation to one another,but the woman only has an obligation if asked**,a man has an obligation even if she doesn’t ask,**since women have shame.

The wife is not asking for sex – but he is still going to go at her. Sounding rapey.
 
the man has an obligation to have sex with his wife even if she doesn’t ask,the wife only does if he asks.

there is a mutual obligation.
 
This just caught by eye --"both spouses have a marital obligation to one another,but the woman only has an obligation if asked**,a man has an obligation even if she doesn’t ask,**since women have shame.

The wife is not asking for sex – but he is still going to go at her. Sounding rapey.
if you have a problem with the Church’s teaching,then thats your problem.

I submit with full intellectual assent of the will to the church.
 
Marriage is also a guard against fornication as trent says:
A third reason has been added, as a consequence of the fall of our first parents. On account of the loss of original innocence the passions began to rise in rebellion against right reason; and man, conscious of his own frailty and unwilling to fight the battles of the flesh, is supplied by marriage with an antidote by which to avoid sins of lust. For fear of fornication, says the Apostle, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband; and a little after, having recommended to married persons a temporary abstinence from the marriage debt, to give themselves to prayer, he adds: Return together again, lest Satan tempt you for your incontinency.
Catechism of the Council of Trent
 

You assent – is to the organ danging from your pelvis.
You’re wasting my time,and you have no answer contrary to my evidence from scripture and Magisterium .

You’re also atm a heretic for denying the mutual marital obligation wich is scriptural.
 
the man has an obligation to have sex with his wife even if she doesn’t ask,the wife only does if he asks.

there is a mutual obligation.
There is also a general obligation, not a specific one. Spouses are generally obligated to not unduly neglect each other - but there is no specific obligation at a particular given time that if one spouse asks, the other must comply at that moment.
 
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