Marrying syro-malabar orphans

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OP, with all the sex you will be demanding from your wife, are you prepared to support a large family?
 
Norseman82 said:
OP, with all the sex you will be demanding from your wife, are you prepared to support a large family?
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I will only demand it in reasonable proportion,I just dont want to work hard to support a wife thats not really attracted to me and doesnt want to have sex with me at all.I can understand not wanting it all the time.
 
willymonfrete said:
where I live its impossible to find a practicing catholic woman below the age of 30 seeking to get married,and thats besides the impediments to creating a chemistry.She has to fall for you and that depends on your looks and social charisma and takes alot of time and chance.its basically like magic.Good for those who can manage it,but I can’t without help.I think if I met someone thru a 3rd party person like my original idea,it would be much easier.
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You mention a woman under 30 - it sounds like you’re rather young then? And it sounds from your other posts that you have not been practicing chastity for very long - is this true?

It’s always the hardest at first, when you’re young and unused to chastity. The fact that it is so hard now doesn’t mean it will always be that way.
 
DarkLight said:
You mention a woman under 30 - it sounds like you’re rather young then? And it sounds from your other posts that you have not been practicing chastity for very long - is this true?

It’s always the hardest at first, when you’re young and unused to chastity. The fact that it is so hard now doesn’t mean it will always be that way.
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I’ve had 3 girlfriends so I have not been chaste most of my life,I’m a revert to christianity.I was a Atheist since 2012.and Yes,I am young.
 
willymonfrete said:
where I live its impossible to find a practicing catholic woman below the age of 30 seeking to get married,and thats besides the impediments to creating a chemistry.She has to fall for you and that depends on your looks and social charisma and takes alot of time and chance.its basically like magic.Good for those who can manage it,but I can’t without help.I think if I met someone thru a 3rd party person like my original idea,it would be much easier.

I find catholicism an oppressive religion but I have to follow it or I will go to hell.I have to get married or I will fall into sin eventually,I dont care if I dont get sex everyday,as long as I got it in reasonable proportion.I do not believe in opressive marriages on either side of the spectrum,I believe a sexless marriage where the wife isnt even attracted to the man is not a valid marriage.if my wife were in such a predicament I’d seek an annulment,I wouldn’t force her to have sex with me under pain of mortal sin,I don’t want sex with an unwilling woman.

a christian sacramental marriage is my only option to fulfill my needs without risking going to hell.
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You are selfish. You see marriage as existing to fulfill your needs only. You have re-interpreted scripture and church teaching to suit your attitude that marriage is purely a forum where you can get laid often without going to hell.
To be honest, I think there’s a strong possibility that if you got married with your current understanding of marriage your marriage would be invalid as you do not actually understand the concept of Christian marriage.

You never seem to mention that a man must be Christ to his wife, must sacrifice all for her, even if he doesn’t feel like it.

You say that a marriage is your only option to avoid hell, you should also note that a marriage vocation, lived out in selfishness, self indulgence, and lack of respect for your wife’s wishes, will just as quickly send you to hell as a life of fornication.

I’ll add that I think someone who has such an obsession with getting sex probably has a long way to go before they’re ready for marriage.
 
AdamPeter said:
You are selfish. You see marriage as existing to fulfill your needs only. You have re-interpreted scripture and church teaching to suit your attitude that marriage is purely a forum where you can get laid often without going to hell.
To be honest, I think there’s a strong possibility that if you got married with your current understanding of marriage your marriage would be invalid as you do not actually understand the concept of Christian marriage.

You say that a marriage is your only option to avoid hell, you should also note that a marriage vocation, lived out in selfishness, self indulgence, and lack of respect for your wife’s wishes, will just as quickly send you to hell as a life of fornication.
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You are annoying.

also no sources,so Don’t care.there is nothing deficvient about my understanding of marriage,your marriage may be invalid since you don’t believe in the marital debt.

also all marriages are valid until declared invalid,and if one spouse enters it with good faith that its valid,there is no sin even in invalidated marriages.
 
willymonfrete said:
I’ve had 3 girlfriends so I have not been chaste most of my life,I’m a revert to christianity.I was a Atheist since 2012.and Yes,I am young.
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Then I would assure you that it will get easier.

Chastity, like every virtue, is a matter of habit. If you have been unchaste, it will take work to become accustomed to chastity. I suspect you would hit this even if you married - the devil always attacks us where we are weakest.

Youthful hormones also don’t help. Again, as you get older, some of that will fade, and chastity will come more easily.
 
Considering what St. Paul wrote about young widows in 1 Timothy 5:11-14, maybe the OP is looking in the wrong place - instead of looking for orphans, he should be seeking a widow who is at the point in her life where her “clock” is ticking so loudly that bystanders are calling the bomb squad. If she is an MMA fighter or spent time in special forces in the military (a Xenia Onatopp type of character (for those who know the movie reference) who can keep him in line), that would be an added bonus. Who knows? She may demand so much from him that he will be crying for a “rest period”.
 
DarkLight said:
Then I would assure you that it will get easier.

Chastity, like every virtue, is a matter of habit. If you have been unchaste, it will take work to become accustomed to chastity. I suspect you would hit this even if you married - the devil always attacks us where we are weakest.

Youthful hormones also don’t help. Again, as you get older, some of that will fade, and chastity will come more easily.
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and thats why I need a wife,lest I burn.
 
Norseman82 said:
Considering what St. Paul wrote about young widows in 1 Timothy 5:11-14, maybe the OP is looking in the wrong place - instead of looking for orphans, he should be seeking a widow who is at the point in her life where her “clock” is ticking so loudly that bystanders are calling the bomb squad. If she is an MMA fighter or spent time in special forces in the military (a Xenia Onatopp type of character (for those who know the movie reference) who can keep him in line), that would be an added bonus. Who knows? She may demand so much from him that he will be crying for a “rest period”.
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I would love a widow or to marry an ex-prostitute with a strong sexual appetite.I just thought orphans would be easier since they are actively looking to get married.if you know any way to get a widow or ex-prostitute catholic woman Id be happy to chk it out.
 
willymonfrete said:
I will only demand it in reasonable proportion,I just dont want to work hard to support a wife thats not really attracted to me and doesnt want to have sex with me at all.I can understand not wanting it all the time.
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Generally speaking, you won’t have to work “hard” to support a wife. Childless women are usually quite capable of supporting themselves.

What’s hard is supporting children. And you’ll need to work hard to support your children whether or not you have an amazing sex life.

Once you have children, you have obligations, and it isn’t all about you anymore.
 
willymonfrete said:
You are annoying.

also no sources,so Don’t care.there is nothing deficvient about my understanding of marriage,your marriage may be invalid since you don’t believe in the marital debt.

also all marriages are valid until declared invalid,and if one spouse enters it with good faith that its valid,there is no sin even in invalidated marriages.
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I do believe in the marital debt. I just don’t believe that it’s as one sided as you think it is. I may be annoying because I’m speaking the truth. As for sources, I’m not interested in getting into a theological discussion with you. I’m speaking from experience. It may hurt your feelings to say it but you are coming from a place of selfishness if the reason you want to get married is to have a wife to fulfill your needs. That’s where all the emphasis is in your comments.
 
Xantippe said:
Generally speaking, you won’t have to work “hard” to support a wife. Childless women are usually quite capable of supporting themselves.

What’s hard is supporting children. And you’ll need to work hard to support your children whether or not you have an amazing sex life.

Once you have children, you have obligations, and it isn’t all about you anymore.
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I live in a country where they give the equivalent of about 400 dollars for each child every month,and if i moved overseas I could probabely take my Wajong wich would make me rich in many countries.
 
willymonfrete said:
I would love a widow or to marry an ex-prostitute with a strong sexual appetite.I just thought orphans would be easier since they are actively looking to get married.if you know any way to get a widow or ex-prostitute catholic woman Id be happy to chk it out.
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You live in the Netherlands, where from what I understand that “profession” is legal, so you would probably know far better than I would whether there are Catholic ex-prostitutes looking for Catholic husbands.
 
He’s virtue signalling by condemning me,hes not sincere.He also didn’t offer any advice,just condemnation.and again I am not going to discuss the marital debt anymore,its almost like a dogma of the catholic church and thats that.
 
AdamPeter said:
I do believe in the marital debt. I just don’t believe that it’s as one sided as you think it is. I may be annoying because I’m speaking the truth. As for sources, I’m not interested in getting into a theological discussion with you. I’m speaking from experience. It may hurt your feelings to say it but you are coming from a place of selfishness if the reason you want to get married is to have a wife to fulfill your needs. That’s where all the emphasis is in your comments.
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if you were sincere you’d maybe pm me and voice your concerns.

youre virtue signalling and I don’t care for your rehashed opinions and nonsence. its a shame this site doesn’t have ignore function.
 
willymonfrete said:
if you were sincere you’d maybe pm me and voice your concerns.

youre virtue signalling and I don’t care for your rehashed opinions and nonsence. its a shame this site doesn’t have ignore function.
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Grand, it that’s what you want to think. It’s not an opinion though. It’s the teaching of the Church. Look at the Theology of the Body and read St. Paul along with exegesis from reliable Catholic sources. Try reading Germain Grisez on marriage.

My advice to you is to stop concentrating on sex and your needs being fulfilled. It’s about more than that.
 
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