Mass Bloopers

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lol…I was embarrassed that I didn’t know what it meant either, but I didn’t want to ask. Actually tried looking it up in the dictionary. 😊
I asked because I was too lazy to look it up. I feel better that you didn’t know either!
 
American or Australian dictionary LOL! Sorry! Lost in Translation!

I was always of the opinion that the US and Australia were really quite similar in many ways. Australians often comment that our culture has been “Americanised” due to TV (largely MTV). I thought so too plus we share the same language, similar culture, food, music etc. But having travelled to your beautiful country three times now I have to say that the two countries are really very different! 🙂
Going to Australia and/or Hawaii would be the only way I’d ever get on an airplane again, and it better be first class! I’m not afraid to fly, but the possibility of sitting on a runway for 11 hours without water or a bathroom terrifies me!

MTV as the main avenue of Americanization…bleck! I must be getting pretty old if that makes me wince.
 
We were attending Mass at a neighbouring parish in a truly awful “re-covated” church. A visiting priest was saying the Mass and in his homily he said:

“Churches such as these inspire me to pray…to pray ‘My God ! What have they done’?!”
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :crying:
 
About a year and a half ago, prior to Mass, one of the Scouts who was a member of the troop chartered to our parish spoke about his upcoming Eagle Scout service project – to collect, catalog, and install books for a library at a nearby Senior Center. Because his project was for the benefit of a Senior Center, he was of course not looking for donations of children’s books… but what he ended up asking for were donations of adult books.

Needless to say, several folks asked him afterwards exactly what sorts of “adult books” he had in mind!
 
About a year and a half ago, prior to Mass, one of the Scouts who was a member of the troop chartered to our parish spoke about his upcoming Eagle Scout service project – to collect, catalog, and install books for a library at a nearby Senior Center. Because his project was for the benefit of a Senior Center, he was of course not looking for donations of children’s books… but what he ended up asking for were donations of adult books.

Needless to say, several folks asked him afterwards exactly what sorts of “adult books” he had in mind!
OOH! I have years of old Harlequin Romances cluttering up my basement. Some of those are pretty “adult”.
 
About a year and a half ago, prior to Mass, one of the Scouts who was a member of the troop chartered to our parish spoke about his upcoming Eagle Scout service project – to collect, catalog, and install books for a library at a nearby Senior Center. Because his project was for the benefit of a Senior Center, he was of course not looking for donations of children’s books… but what he ended up asking for were donations of adult books.

Needless to say, several folks asked him afterwards exactly what sorts of “adult books” he had in mind!
It is such a sad commentary on modern culture that pornography has hijacked that that term.
 
I was received into the Church at the Easter Vigil last Saturday. After the baptisms and confirmations, they had part of our group place flowers in front of the alter, place the alter cloths on the alter, and light the alter candles prior to Communion. I was one of the people lighting the alter candles. I had a terrible time lighting the highest candle. I wasn’t wearing my glasses and my depth perception was way off. I was so afraid I would knock the candle over. Finally got it.
 
One priest made the “prostate” instead of “prostrate” mistake and I was so afraid he’d do it again. He did. :eek: He also read out “(Patron saint of the day”) instead of mentioning whoever that saint would be for the day.😃
At the 11:30 Easter Sunday Mass, the priest started the carpet burning from fallen bits of insence. He put it out with the holy water.🙂
 
One priest made the “prostate” instead of “prostrate” mistake and I was so afraid he’d do it again. He did. :eek: He also read out “(Patron saint of the day”) instead of mentioning whoever that saint would be for the day.😃
At the 11:30 Easter Sunday Mass, the priest started the carpet burning from fallen bits of insence. He put it out with the holy water.🙂
Now this is a bad priest:
youtube.com/watch?v=B3kCRZZZUno&feature=related
 
One priest made the “prostate” instead of “prostrate” mistake and I was so afraid he’d do it again. He did. :eek: He also read out “(Patron saint of the day”) instead of mentioning whoever that saint would be for the day.😃
At the 11:30 Easter Sunday Mass, the priest started the carpet burning from fallen bits of insence. He put it out with the holy water.🙂
One of the other choir members set her program on fire during Holy Saturday services last year. This year, the director wouldn’t let us have programs OR candles. We sang the first part by penlight instead.

Same director told us Wednesday night to “drop our drawers” instead of our jaws.
 
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Thank goodness they insist on robes for our choir!!!
It was pretty funny. He’s an older gentleman, and we have a couple teen aged girls. He was quite embarassed. The other old folks in the choir, like me, gave him much grief.

We rebelled against our robes after Christmas of 2006. They’re the old time heavy antique satin kind, and way too hot. They do look beautiful, but my hair winds up wet, and the other old person (we’re in our late 50s and both of us are pretty tubby) almost passed out. He had to go stand on the parking lot during the sermon.
 
After the post-communion prayer (this year’s Easter Vigil), the celebrant encouraged us to not say “Happy Easter”, but, instead, to use the ancient Christian greeting of “He is risen” and the response is, “The Lord is indeed risen”. Then, he chanted, “The Mass is ended now go in peace, alleluia, alleluia.” Well, I was trying to hand-signal him that he forgot the final blessing. :eek: Then the choir started to sing as I caught the deacon’s eye and he told the celebrant. He turned red and said that it was his fault and blessed us. We laughed about it after Mass. 😃
 
Here’s one. It’s not a liturgical one per se, but here goes. I was at a conference and one of the priests headed a small group session. He jokingly said that if you feel the homily go on and on with no end in sight, you have the ability to get up and start reciting the creed. I think it would be funny if someone actually did that.
 
Here’s another recent blooper which occured in one of the readings the other day: “The fish in the sky and the birds in the sea.”
I thought of “On the road to Mandalay, where the flying fishes play…”😃
 
A few years back, I heard a lector read a passage concerning the people of 9veh. Poor old guy just couldn’t say Nineveh.
 
After the post-communion prayer (this year’s Easter Vigil), the celebrant encouraged us to not say “Happy Easter”, but, instead, to use the ancient Christian greeting of “He is risen” and the response is, “The Lord is indeed risen”. Then, he chanted, “The Mass is ended now go in peace, alleluia, alleluia.” Well, I was trying to hand-signal him that he forgot the final blessing. :eek: Then the choir started to sing as I caught the deacon’s eye and he told the celebrant. He turned red and said that it was his fault and blessed us. We laughed about it after Mass. 😃
Something similar happened once at Mass. It was over etc and the priest was looking at the music leader like he was asking “where is the recessional song?” The leader made a big sign of the cross. OOOOOOOOOps we got blessed then they started the song

We once heard of the flaming brasiseres (brazier)
 
One priest made the “prostate” instead of “prostrate” mistake and I was so afraid he’d do it again. He did. :eek: He also read out “(Patron saint of the day”) instead of mentioning whoever that saint would be for the day.😃
At the 11:30 Easter Sunday Mass, the priest started the carpet burning from fallen bits of insence. He put it out with the holy water.🙂
we have the large plastic container of holy water by the door from the Easter vigil, so parishioners can fill their containers easily, but some people dump before they look so we had to empty it out, remove the trash, andhave Father bless more holy water. I am trying to figure out why people would have in their hands, for disposal when leaving church, soda cans, snack bags, newspapers (secular, not OSV or parish bulletin), junk mail and broken toys.
 
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