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catholiconce
Guest
I do Recall the few times I served as an Altar Boy. I always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I once had taken the collection off the altar and to a room behind the Altar. At the time I figured I was doing the money counter a favor because I left the altar and put the collection in the same room they counted it in.
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catholiconce
Guest
I do recall the few times I served as an altar boy. once I removed the collection plate from the Altar and placed in a room behind the altar. At the time I figured I was doing the Money counters a favor because I placed the plate in the very same room they counted the money in.
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krissy343
Guest
I have been caring for two mentally handicapped gentlemen the past few years, and one of the other staff took them to Church about 2 years back. We have to do at least one fire and tornado drill a month to make sure they know what to do in case either occurs. Well, I guess they were asked to pray for victims of a tornado that had just occured and one of them got up, yelled TORNADO!!! , ran out into the isle and dropped to the ground covering his head hehe. Everyone got a big kick out of it 
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MomblessedX3
Guest
Here is one from the reading today.The Second reading was from the first Letter of Saint Peter…anyway it was supposed to read: “Beloved: If you invoke as Father him who judges impartially according to each one’s works, conduct yourselves with reverence during the time of your sojourning, realizing that you were ransomed from your FUTILE conduct, handed on by your ancestors…” it was read instead as “…you were ransomed from your FERTILE conduct…”
The reader never realized what he said.
The reader never realized what he said.
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Crumpy
Guest
We’re in the age when “routine” baptisms are performed during Sunday Mass, as they probably had been for a very long time in the early church.
Well, the script went’ astray one Sunday morning. After the cute part of the ceremony, we came to the part where the baby was supposed to clothed with the white garment. But mom had to re-clothe the baby first. So she disappeared into the sacristy and did not re-emergy for about seven minutes! It was enough time that the priest had run out of things to say, the choir had run out of songs to sing, etc. and we were all haning there in suspense, waiting for the kid to re-emerge, and mercifully, she did.
Our past bishop explained why he was using some sort of branch for sprinkling the congregation with holy water. He had once used one of these hi-tech 1960’s style things where the water is put in the handle, and then a sprinkling head is screwed on. The problem was, he said, that he gave it a flick of his wrist to project the water over the crowd, and the sprinkling head flew off and hit this poor woman in the forhead.
There was a Mass blooper on TV, on America’s Funniest Videos, I think it was. Father was distributing communion at a wedding Mass, and there was a large man receiving communion. Father made a hasty assessment and turned to go back to the alter before noticing the small boy behind the oversized man. The poor kid was just standing there, looking abandoned.
There was an awkward moment for a pint-sized altar server one Sunday morning. He had been paired with an adult-sized young lady server. He gave off the distinct impression that he was trying to make himself appear taller. He had fully stacked heels on his shoes, to give him at least two inches. And, then, he seemed to have what I will call a Bart Simpson hairstyle – you know, hair combed and gelled straight up, for another 2-1/2 inches. It fooled father, for sure. When the offertory gifts were brought up, he accepted the communion dishes with altar breads and handed to the more-than-capable tall girl server. But, he accepted the heavy pitcher with wine and handed it by the handle to the scrawny boy. I feared the worst as I watched the boy’s arms seem to melt away under the weight of the pitcher. He didn’t have the strength to leverage the weight of the pitcher. It took about two seconds for him to recover, by bringing up his knee to catch the pitcher on his leg, and to readjust the weight. From my vantage point, the priest did not ever notice the problem and he went merrily on, in his stride.
Well, the script went’ astray one Sunday morning. After the cute part of the ceremony, we came to the part where the baby was supposed to clothed with the white garment. But mom had to re-clothe the baby first. So she disappeared into the sacristy and did not re-emergy for about seven minutes! It was enough time that the priest had run out of things to say, the choir had run out of songs to sing, etc. and we were all haning there in suspense, waiting for the kid to re-emerge, and mercifully, she did.
Our past bishop explained why he was using some sort of branch for sprinkling the congregation with holy water. He had once used one of these hi-tech 1960’s style things where the water is put in the handle, and then a sprinkling head is screwed on. The problem was, he said, that he gave it a flick of his wrist to project the water over the crowd, and the sprinkling head flew off and hit this poor woman in the forhead.
There was a Mass blooper on TV, on America’s Funniest Videos, I think it was. Father was distributing communion at a wedding Mass, and there was a large man receiving communion. Father made a hasty assessment and turned to go back to the alter before noticing the small boy behind the oversized man. The poor kid was just standing there, looking abandoned.
There was an awkward moment for a pint-sized altar server one Sunday morning. He had been paired with an adult-sized young lady server. He gave off the distinct impression that he was trying to make himself appear taller. He had fully stacked heels on his shoes, to give him at least two inches. And, then, he seemed to have what I will call a Bart Simpson hairstyle – you know, hair combed and gelled straight up, for another 2-1/2 inches. It fooled father, for sure. When the offertory gifts were brought up, he accepted the communion dishes with altar breads and handed to the more-than-capable tall girl server. But, he accepted the heavy pitcher with wine and handed it by the handle to the scrawny boy. I feared the worst as I watched the boy’s arms seem to melt away under the weight of the pitcher. He didn’t have the strength to leverage the weight of the pitcher. It took about two seconds for him to recover, by bringing up his knee to catch the pitcher on his leg, and to readjust the weight. From my vantage point, the priest did not ever notice the problem and he went merrily on, in his stride.
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lak611
Guest
In my parish, there were two pint-sized servers one time at Mass who could not light the candles. We had brand new candles, and they could not reach the wicks with the candle lighter, even trying to stand on their tiptoes. First, one server tried. Then the other, who was about 2" taller, but still too short to reach the wicks. Finally, an adult EMHC lit the candles.
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daeve
Guest
I grew up singing all those extra notes. It’s hard to get rid of them after 50 something years.I’ve been wondering about that stealthy note… “do OH main” instead of “do-main”.
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daeve
Guest
Choo choo! The train is the long trailing part off the back of her dress. Sometimes a train can be detached, so you don’t have to try to hold up up all night to walk or dance. They usually use little tiny buttons and thread loops which break very easily.train?
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lak611
Guest
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Timmay
Guest
I can understand that. Sometimes you get that one thing in your mind and it won’t go away. I can’t hear “The King of Glory” at Mass without thinking of this: youtube.com/watch?v=Fz2aE6DvHDc
Makes me want to laugh every time.
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Carolinagirl411
Guest
Oh my Lord! What possessed Stephen Colbert to do that? I have to play that song during Mass sometimes on handbells…I won’t be able to do it anymore after that video. HILARIOUS! :dancing: 
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Felicity_in_TX
Guest
This reminded me…last year the Pastor at my parish got a little carried away with the oil to start the fire and ended up causing a mini-explosion and scorching the ceiling! Fortunately no one was hurt, but Father has been unable to live down the ‘pyro’ jokes and comments. This year, I was Confirmed at the Easter Vigil and so was standing about 6 feet away when Father was about to light the fire. About the time I remembered the incident from last year, the RCIA director grabbed me by the arm and whispered in a very urgent voice at me to “back up a little!”
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rpp
Guest
Okay. It took me a couple of minutes to catch my breath. Whew! That was too funny!!!
At least we can see the reason why liturgical dance is forbidden in many diocese.
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Monsterkittie
Guest
Add to that:
“And they’ll know we are Catholics by our strum, by our strum…
Yes they’ll know we are Catholics by our strum…”
can’t breathe!! I’m laughing too hard!!!
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Light_Seeker
Guest
At our convalidation ceremony, my wife requested the music director NOT to play Ava Maria. Her father had died just a few months before, this was his favorite, and played at his funeral. She knew if she heard this beautiful song she would immediately break down in tears. All of the family knew her wishes on this.
Right before we were to exchange vows, her sister’s cell phone starts ringing. She couldn’t get it fast enough, as it was hidden in her purse. Sure enough, Ava Maria as a ring tune. And sure enough, my wife breaks down in tears.
Later she said it made her happy, those were tears of joy. She realized that George, her father, was with us celebrating our sacraments…
Right before we were to exchange vows, her sister’s cell phone starts ringing. She couldn’t get it fast enough, as it was hidden in her purse. Sure enough, Ava Maria as a ring tune. And sure enough, my wife breaks down in tears.
Later she said it made her happy, those were tears of joy. She realized that George, her father, was with us celebrating our sacraments…
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Santi2
Guest
My husband, who was the second person in the queue, got carried away and drank all the wine.
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aurora77
Guest
At our Easter Vigil this year, our priest was blessing the Holy Water. He got to the part about making disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. He paused and a little boy yelled out “Amen.” It was hilarious and so sweet!
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Norseman82
Guest
From what I understand, he is a Sunday School/CCD teacher, and it does look like he is doing that in a classroom.
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