Mass Bloopers

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In a Mass I was at a few weeks ago, the priest entered for the start of Mass, and one of the congregation, who was supposed to begin reciting the Entrance Antiphon, instead loudly announced ‘Communion Antiphon…’. Father just looked at her and said ‘I don’t think Mass is gonna finish quite that fast!’. We all cracked up.
 
The funniest thing that comes to mind was the time our lector stumbled over reading “the Alpha and the Omega.” Instead she read. "I am the Alfalfa and the Omega. There were quite a few people struggling not to laugh.
 
Bayley said:
The funniest thing that comes to mind was the time our lector stumbled over reading “the Alpha and the Omega.” Instead she read. "I am the Alfalfa and the Omega. There were quite a few people struggling not to laugh.
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Maybe she watched “The Little Rascals” before Mass. 😃
 
I was an alter boy at Mission Dolores in San Francisco, California. I fell asleep during Father Paul Perry’s homily once. He woke me up. My mom beat me like a step child after mass all the way home. Amazing how that woman never left any marks. God love her.
 
mexilad said:
I was an alter boy at Mission Dolores in San Francisco, California. I fell asleep during Father Paul Perry’s homily once. He woke me up. My mom beat me like a step child after mass all the way home. Amazing how that woman never left any marks. God love her.
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God love her for punishing you for something over which you certainly had no control? I’m sure you wouldn’t have fallen asleep if you could’ve prevented it. Or is that intended to be sarcastic? Sarcasm doesn’t come across so well in written communications.
 
mexilad said:
I was an alter boy at Mission Dolores in San Francisco, California. I fell asleep during Father Paul Perry’s homily once. He woke me up. My mom beat me like a step child after mass all the way home. Amazing how that woman never left any marks. God love her.
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LilyM said:
God love her for punishing you for something over which you certainly had no control? I’m sure you wouldn’t have fallen asleep if you could’ve prevented it. Or is that intended to be sarcastic? Sarcasm doesn’t come across so well in written communications.
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When I was a kid, I used to fall asleep frequently during the Monsignor’s sermons. My dad usually fell asleep too. The funny thing was that he was very long-winded during a sermon, but very fast during Confession. I always liked to go to him for Confession when I was a kid, because he always got me out fast!
 
lak611 said:
When I was a kid, I used to fall asleep frequently during the Monsignor’s sermons. My dad usually fell asleep too. The funny thing was that he was very long-winded during a sermon, but very fast during Confession. I always liked to go to him for Confession when I was a kid, because he always got me out fast!
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I nearly feel asleep listening to a sermon (Lutheran church then). I had begged my mom to let me see what church was like (Sunday School kids never went to the church when I was little). So, I asked, “Why is he talking so long?”. Lutheran sermons can be a little long winded at times.
 
That reminds my of one time when my son was small, and we were sitting up front before the pulpit. I noticed my husband nodding off during the sermon, so I whispered to our son to “wake Daddy,” thinking the kid would give him a subtle nudge. But he shouted “Wake up!”
 
A priest told me that he was asked by a child what exactly was “Jesus’ tortoise”. The child had misheard “In the words that Jesus taught us”.

I was also told by another priest that in Holy Week, instead of invoking St. Agatha, he said “Agatha Christie” by mistake!😛
 
A friend told me that when he was a child he thought that God’s name was Mark Iniquities because he the people say, “If you, O Lord, mark iniquities who can stand?”
 
My first time as an altar server was the confirmation Mass when the bishop came. As we were waiting for the procession to start, Father was filling the censer. When the organist started playing, everyone stood up, and the fire alarm went off. Naturally, we have to go with the flow, so we start anyway, but the crucifier is disoriented and whacks the cross against the top of the doorway. Then, as I was the crozier-bearer/holder for the bishop, I had to stay with the mitre holder, but he hadn’t been to the rehearsal and went to the wrong spot, and we had to turn around and go back. By then, someone had turned off the fire alarm, and luckily it went okay after that.

We’ve used incense for years, with no problems. :o
 
muffinmojo said:
My first time as an altar server was the confirmation Mass when the bishop came. As we were waiting for the procession to start, Father was filling the censer. When the organist started playing, everyone stood up, and the fire alarm went off.
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You have had that happened too? When I lived in the Philadelphia area, the same thing happened at Benediction at the end of a 40 hours devotion. Only that time, it was the Deacon. We had a bunch of fire engines for part of the Benediction.
 
During the preperation of the gifts as they were bringing them up, I tripped and spilled the money from the collection! :eek: WE had to pick it all up but I still think the little girl in the pew by me took a buck or two. :nope:
 
Once I was celebrating Mass at a parish on the solemnity of the Assumption. At the beginning the announcer said, “Let us rise and greet Father with Hail, Holy Queen”. Fortunately I was the only one who noticed.
 
LouisH said:
Once I was celebrating Mass at a parish on the solemnity of the Assumption. At the beginning the announcer said, “Let us rise and greet Father with Hail, Holy Queen”. Fortunately I was the only one who noticed.
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I think I’d have had to walk out of church if I’d been there. I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy, and that would have had me laughing in the aisles.
 
LouisH said:
Once I was celebrating Mass at a parish on the solemnity of the Assumption. At the beginning the announcer said, “Let us rise and greet Father with Hail, Holy Queen”. Fortunately I was the only one who noticed.
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:rotfl:
 
When my daughter was young, she was cross-bearer and took her role as seriously as she should. She was a tall girl and when Father instructed the cross-bearers to hold the Cross up high, she did. Unfortunately, once, when the closing hymn was “Lift High the Cross”, she forgot to dip the Cross as she exited the low door and bam!. Another kid would have dropped it, but she prevailed and quickly dipped and escaped. To this day, we call it her “her song”.
 
lector read the gospel instead of the 2nd reading on Sunday at the early Mass, she caught herself, and then read the proper reading. her own fault, because she read the first reading and must have flipped over 2 pages. Father ignored it and just read the gospel again.
 
“give up your won ton ways…” he said it with such conviction it took a beat to realize it was “wanton”
 
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