Mass Bloopers

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Aside from the common mistakes on Biblical place names like Phrygia or hearing that David played on the ten-stringed “lee-ray,” there were two bloopers that stood out for me, both read by deacons:

“You are destined for immorality!” (immortality)
“Peter, surnamed Caiaphas…” (Cephas)
 
I was the incenser in one mass… it was a habit that every once in a while, a new charcoal was placed in the censer. The Gospel acclaimation came and the bishop was to put some insence grains in the censer.

The Charcoal flared, the bishop’s beard was on fire and the whole sanctuary was covered with smoke because the bishop poured the whole contents of the incense boalt! hahaha!!
 
Another instance:

Communion time came. I was going to recieve communion when suddenly, I saw this girl whom I had a crush on, in the communion plate (yes, we have girl altar servers)… I was blushing, my face was really all-red, I was sweating pfrofusely… I saw the girl, gigling a little. After the mass, the nuncio saw me and gave me a wink and whispered: “She has a crush on you too.” hahaha!
 
“Uterus adoration Tuesday thru Friday from nine to seven”:eek:

And that just happened today when I went to mass.
 
reff said:
“Uterus adoration Tuesday thru Friday from nine to seven”:eek:

And that just happened today when I went to mass.
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Well, I’ll admit, Mary’s must have been a pretty holy place, but even so…😛
 
reff said:
“Uterus adoration Tuesday thru Friday from nine to seven”:eek:

And that just happened today when I went to mass.
Click to expand...
Actually, I’ve seen Eastern Catholic art in which the Eucharist is places in Mary’s womb. And there is a monstarnce being readied for the Divine Mercy shrine at St. Stanislaus Kostka which is shaped liek Mary, and the Eucharist is to be placed in the womb portion.
 
Today’s first reading from Jeremiah:

"You have doped me Lord, and I let myself be doped…"

I wonder which drug God used? :confused:
 
This isn’t really a LOL, but its cute. The Priest at my parish while giving the final blessing in the EF of the Mass accidentally slipped into his native Italian.
 
My 10 year old daughter used to have a bit of a lisp. We were Mass Coordinators one Saturday evening. Bishop Paul Dudley was the celebrant. For any of you who knew Bishop Paul, he also happened to have a lisp.

It was November 29th, my youngest was 6 years old. It was her birthday and it was Bishop Paul’s as well.

After Mass, she ran up to Bishop Paul, threw her arms around his neck and said, “Bishop Paul!!! It’s my Birthday too and we both talk funny!!!” I thought I would die!

Bishop Paul being who he was, just got down on his knees in front of Christy and said, “Do you think it’s because of our birthday that we have a lisp? Or is it because Jesus loves us?” Her reply was, “Jesus loves us!!”.

in Christ
Steph
 
ok, I go to a Catholic School,
on days that we don’t have Mass, the whole high school assembles in the cafiteria (sp) for a prayer service (?) on the wall there was a big crucifix, it was from the old High altar at the Church next door (at which I am an altar boy) so, for the Good Friday Liturgy, they used that crucifix for the veneration, we get back to school after Easter, and realized that the Monsignor didn’t want to put it back in the school (to old) so all my friends (2 of which are also altar boys and we all served the Triduum Liturgy) started thinking

(to the tune of ‘Lift High the Cross’)

“Steal back the cross”
 
totustuus2345 said:
ok, I go to a Catholic School,
on days that we don’t have Mass, the whole high school assembles in the cafiteria (sp) for a prayer service (?) on the wall there was a big crucifix, it was from the old High altar at the Church next door (at which I am an altar boy) so, for the Good Friday Liturgy, they used that crucifix for the veneration, we get back to school after Easter, and realized that the Monsignor didn’t want to put it back in the school (to old) so all my friends (2 of which are also altar boys and we all served the Triduum Liturgy) started thinking

(to the tune of ‘Lift High the Cross’)

“Steal back the cross”
Click to expand...
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
The choir sang the Lamb of God instead of the Holy Holy. The priest had was very puzzled and told me after mass that he thought he suffered some sort of lapse.
 
Preacher bows his head in prayer:
Code: 
"Without you Lord, we are but dust . . ."
and then loudly interupted by young child in the front row:
Code: 
"Mommy, what's butt dust?"
Not mine, and not Mass, but I couldn’t resist.
 
Bishop Paul being who he was, just got down on his knees in front of Christy and said, “Do you think it’s because of our birthday that we have a lisp? Or is it because Jesus loves us?” Her reply was, “Jesus loves us!!”.

That is so sweet!
 
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