Mass Bloopers

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aboverubies said:
I often get mixed up with my prayers when I haven’t had enough sleep. I’ll begin to say an Our Father or Hail Mary and realise I’ve actually just said Grace. :rolleyes: :o

I think it’s my stomach trying to trick my mind in order to score a second breakfast. 😛
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When I was a child I used to think we were saying “Hell Mary”.

Paul R. Viola
 
Jennifer_G said:
I guess with a couple of new priests this past year, things were a little disorganized during the Tridiuum and the Easter Vigil. The holy water fonts weren’t emptied after the Holy Thursday Mass, (I didn’t notice, but apparently, the St. Joseph candles were lit on Good Friday). For the veneration of the Cross, they had the cross in the center isle instead of multiple crosses on each side (and center isle). I think they do this since it’s a large parish, and there’s a lot of elderly people, too. So, this threw off the people on the ends of the pew who didn’t even go up at first. So, people coming back from the center had to squeeze through the center isle. During the Easter Vigil, they turned the lights on too early before the altar servers could light the candles. I think that might’ve threw them off, since they were heading in every odd direction. Plus, one poor altar boy couldn’t even light half of the Blessed Mother candles, and he didn’t even try to light the ones on the other side (about a minute later).
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Does sound pretty chaotic. However, the Veneration of the Cross on Good Friday is actually required to be just one cross, no matter how large the congregation is.
 
Bbigam said:
Does sound pretty chaotic. However, the Veneration of the Cross on Good Friday is actually required to be just one cross, no matter how large the congregation is.
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That’s how it was this year.
 
During mass, while a cell phone was ringing, Fr. said “If its not Jesus, just call them back after mass”.
 
rick43235 said:
A few months ago our pastor took a month off to return to his native Ireland, so we had a substitute priest - a retired priest who is about 80 years old. After communion, he returned to his seat while the servers cleared the altar. After the servers returned to their seats, the congregation waited for Father to rise to offer the closing prayers…and waited and waited and waited. After about three minutes a soft murmur could be heard in the congregation, and as time passed the murmur became louder and the atmosphere more and more uncomfortable. Father was wearing one of those clip on microphones, and soon his snoring could be heard echoing throughout the church. Finally, one of the servers (a girl of about 14) softly elbowed him in the side. Nothing. Another elbow in the side. Again, nothing. Finally, out of desperation, the server said, in a stage whisper that could be heard in the back row, “Father, wake up.” In one fluid motion he jumped to his feet and proclaimed loudly, “We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty…”
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LOL!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
 
Okay so the child was 2-years old, and it was Palm Sunday at a brand new parish. I’m wearing a button-up shirt, and the daughter was fascinated for some reason. We were standing up singing a song. The daughter was desperately trying to get her hand in my shirt. (Can you figure out where this is going yet?) As the song ends, and a moment of silence is in the church, the daughter yell, “I’ve got mommy’s b-bby.”

I was :eek: :blush:Then at the end of the mass the father invites any newcomers to come up to the front of the congregation and introduce themselves.

Yeah, that didn’t happen, and we went to a parish a few miles further down the road for Easter.
 
Thanks for all the stories. I’m laughing so hard–my insides are achy. :whacky:
 
cctabb said:
Okay so the child was 2-years old, and it was Palm Sunday at a brand new parish. I’m wearing a button-up shirt, and the daughter was fascinated for some reason. We were standing up singing a song. The daughter was desperately trying to get her hand in my shirt. (Can you figure out where this is going yet?) As the song ends, and a moment of silence is in the church, the daughter yell, “I’ve got mommy’s b-bby.”

I was :eek: :blush:Then at the end of the mass the father invites any newcomers to come up to the front of the congregation and introduce themselves.

Yeah, that didn’t happen, and we went to a parish a few miles further down the road for Easter.
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Hahahaha. Oh my gosh. I would’ve been so embarrassed.
 
This wasn’t a ‘blooper’. It was more the timing combined with my sad sense of humour.

We had a new assistant priest.
At the end of Mass he said, as usual,
“… the Mass has ended.”
Everyone was so relieve that we all responded “Thanks be to God!!!”
 
FrCorey said:
or how about during high mass when the bishop celebrating lets one rip so bad that all the priests
around him start to fan thier robes to try to clear the air. and the bishop doesn’t even flinch.
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I believe there was a Dave Allen at Large skit on that very subject!
 
On Palm sunday, while we were standing out on the steps of the church, while having our palms blessed. Only about half of the Congregation was out there, the other half was still in the Church.
We have a new sound system, that didn’t quite pick up the transmission on the steps.
So whilst father was speaking, the speakers kept crackling. All of a sudden, the Speakers tuned in right when Father said “Die”, now when it came out of nowhere in the church it sounded more like **DIE!! **
 
The_Reginator said:
This wasn’t a ‘blooper’. It was more the timing combined with my sad sense of humour.

We had a new assistant priest.
At the end of Mass he said, as usual,
“… the Mass has ended.”
Everyone was so relieve that we all responded “Thanks be to God!!!”
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That’s actually what I thought when I was Really little.
As if the people were saying; “Thank God the Mass is over”.
 
I’ve got one! I’ve got one! This happened at the morning Mass. 😃 You have to love foreign priests and their accents. Our priest was hispanic and his accent was quite thick. So…

Father: And he appeared in their mist.

The word was midst. 😃 My immature, geeky mind flashbacked to the video game Final Fantasy 9 where half of the world was covered in dangerous mist.

Oh, and back when I was growing up in the Lutheran Church, we had an acolyte pass out on Easter Sunday. Everybody was kneeling for the prayers when the poor boy keeled right over. All of the nurses in the congregation suddenly rush to the altar…
 
Dylpickleh8 said:
That’s actually what I thought when I was Really little.
As if the people were saying; “Thank God the Mass is over”.
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I never seriously believed it, but ever since I was little, I have liked to think that the people are responding, “**Thank speedy God!”
 
Elizium23 said:
I never seriously believed it, but ever since I was little, I have liked to think that the people are responding, “**Thank *speedy ***God!”
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Ok. This wasn’t at a Catholic Mass but an Anglican service (Book of Common Prayer):
Priest: “God make speed to save us.”
All: “Lord make haste to help us.”

In the late 60s and early 70s we were hearing a lot about drugs, ‘speed’ often being in the news. As an early teen I found this to be a great play on words. (I’ve always loved puns.)
 
Every once in awhile, in the Passion or Good Friday readings (I forget which one it is), when we’re supposed to say “prophesy! prophesy!” we hear “prophecy! prophecy!”. Cringeworthy.
 
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