Mass Bloopers

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My “comadre’s” three year old had just learned a new song. So when she saw Grandma lighting the candles on the altar, she thought it was appropriate to sing:

“Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You”

In that angelic voice that can be heard for miles…

:blushing:
:love:
Gotta love those kids!!
 
Just this past Saturday, I read the wrong reading and responsorial psalm at the daily Mass! I usually check the lectionary myself, but one of the men who regularly sets up the altar for Mass and serves altar if no one else is there to do it, checked it while I was watching. I thought it was fine. I didn’t realize my mistake until Father started flipping through the book looking for the right Gospel. I wanted to die, turn invisible, and sink through the pew and the floor all at once. 😊
 
duskyjewel said:
Just this past Saturday, I read the wrong reading and responsorial psalm at the daily Mass! I usually check the lectionary myself, but one of the men who regularly sets up the altar for Mass and serves altar if no one else is there to do it, checked it while I was watching. I thought it was fine. I didn’t realize my mistake until Father started flipping through the book looking for the right Gospel. I wanted to die, turn invisible, and sink through the pew and the floor all at once. 😊
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Not quite the same thing here, but I cantored Sunday and got totally lost in the Psalm. I think I sang the last line of the third verse a few times.
 
I was once at a Mass being celebrated for a youth retreat weekend, and a Bishop from the Diocese hosting the event. So the first reader gets up and starts reading. The Bishop is kinda looking around. The responsorial starts, and the Deacon sneaks over and grabs the Lectionary. Bishop looks at it for a while, and Deacon sneaks it back. Second reading. Bishop is still looking confused. Gospel is read. Bishop gets up for the homily. “So I prepared a great homily for todays readings. Or what i thought todays readings would be”. Turns out the coordinators had decided to do the readings from a different cycle, for some strange reason. I dont remember the homily all that well, but i do know that it was a great homily, and would have still been so if prepared. The fact that he winged it was amazing. Much better than the rock concert that was the music for the mass
 
Several years ago in my diocese one pastor decided to light the Easter fire outside the window that took up the entire area behind the altar in the front of the church. It was a floor to ceiling window and I guess he thought that way everyone would be able to see the lighting of the paschal candle. The wood and charcoal in the grill must have been well doused with lighter fluid and when the spark was applied the fire flared up, waaay up! The window cracked from top to bottom and you could hear the pastor who was wearing a mike moan, “Oh ****!”
 
One announcement regarding a touch football game between our neighboring parish, Holy Family and our kids came out:

“All high-school teens are invited to participate in the touch football game with Homely Family…”
 
Claire_from_DE said:
Several years ago in my diocese one pastor decided to light the Easter fire outside the window that took up the entire area behind the altar in the front of the church. It was a floor to ceiling window and I guess he thought that way everyone would be able to see the lighting of the paschal candle. The wood and charcoal in the grill must have been well doused with lighter fluid and when the spark was applied the fire flared up, waaay up! The window cracked from top to bottom and you could hear the pastor who was wearing a mike moan, “Oh ****!”
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Oops. I can see that immediately followed by, “The second collection will be for the window repair fund.”
 
An instance in our parish, our parish priest was telling the people: “Prompted by our Lord’s teachings, we are bold to say… Hail Mary, full of grace…” the priest continued to recite the hail Mary and we, in our pews were trying to cover our giggles by bowing the whole time. hihi! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

after saying the hail Mary, our Cure’ realized the mistake, suddenly repeating the whole thing: “Prompted by our Lord’s teachings, we are bold to say… Our Father…”

talk about errors! haha!
 
Here’s another:

I experienced the quickest mass in my life!

Our parish priest was working the whole night with the homily for the Sunday mass. When Sunday morning came, he was so sleepy that his eyes were half-closed the whole time. After the readings, the sacristan woke up our priest for the gospels.

lo and behold, he boomed in his microphone, being a little bit asleep: “The Mass is ended, go in peace!”
 
Claire_from_DE said:
Several years ago in my diocese one pastor decided to light the Easter fire outside the window that took up the entire area behind the altar in the front of the church. It was a floor to ceiling window and I guess he thought that way everyone would be able to see the lighting of the paschal candle. The wood and charcoal in the grill must have been well doused with lighter fluid and when the spark was applied the fire flared up, waaay up! The window cracked from top to bottom and you could hear the pastor who was wearing a mike moan, “Oh ****!”
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I doubt that anyone will ever forget that Easter Vigil Mass!
 
FraterAndre said:
Here’s another:

I experienced the quickest mass in my life!

Our parish priest was working the whole night with the homily for the Sunday mass. When Sunday morning came, he was so sleepy that his eyes were half-closed the whole time. After the readings, the sacristan woke up our priest for the gospels.

lo and behold, he boomed in his microphone, being a little bit asleep: “The Mass is ended, go in peace!”
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So how was his homily? 😃 :rotfl:
 
Not a blooper as such, but there was a new alter server tonight at the EF mass - a young lad about 9 or 10 years old.

He tripped over a seat walking up the aisle holding the priests robes, then nearly choaked to death on the alter with the incense. One of the older servers sent him off during the mass - presumably to get a drink of water 😃
He returned a fe minutes later - and served without firther incident - other than wiping his nose a few times with his sleeve 😃 😃 😃
 
Today at the end of Mass, Father started the final blessing, (as a chant) than abruptly stopped and said “Whoops I messed that one up” turned a couple pages then started over.

And not really a blooper but during the homily (which was about Fortitude) Father said he didn’t know how to build a Church the only time he built anything was a clubhouse when he was 7 and the first big wind that came along blew it down. First someone in the choir started busting a gut quite loudly and my brother turned to me and said “Great one gust of wind and our Church will fall to the ground”.
 
When I was younger, I attended a very small parish. One of the priests assigned their temporarily, I can’t remember his real name, earned the nickname Father Speedy. He used to say the mass so fast that know one could understand anything he said the entire time. He memorized everything, sometimes even the gospel reading, and transitioned from one point to the next without hesitation. Imagine a priest saying a normal mass, then imagine him saying everything twice as fast. I remember him saying an entire Sunday mass and serving communion in 25 minutes. The only thing that slowed it down were the lectors. It got to be so ridiculous after awhile that no one in the church could keep a straight face. Father Speedy would start Mass at double time and it was like watching a fast forwarding video of the service. I always wondered what he had to do afterwards.

Another story is of my parent’s wedding. The priest, not Father Speedy, was known to be an alcoholic and was slightly inebriated at the wedding mass. He noticed that my father and mother were gazing lovingly at each other the entire time, so he stopped in the middle of the service and asked my dad if he wanted to kiss my mom. My dad looked at him and said something like, “I don’t think we’re to that part yet.” The priest responded with, “It’s okay. Kiss her.” So my dad obliged and kissed my mom. Several more times during the ceremony he asked my dad if he wanted to kiss my mom. Everyone in the audience, except my very traditional grandmother, thought it was hilarious.
 
The Knights of Columbus at a parish I attended had what was called a “burn your own” night where the men would bring their own meat and cook it at the hall. However, they also had a family night with the same format. It was posted in the parish bulletin as a “burn your own family night.”
 
LouisH said:
The Knights of Columbus at a parish I attended had what was called a “burn your own” night where the men would bring their own meat and cook it at the hall. However, they also had a family night with the same format. It was posted in the parish bulletin as a “burn your own family night.”
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:bigyikes:
 
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