Sometimes it’s a coping mechanism just like drinking can be a coping mechanism. Both are wrong, but we earthlings suffer from deep hurts some times, and sometimes the M-thing appears like the lesser of many evils for those of us whose spouses have thrown the sex switch to off unilaterally either through necessity (illness, death) or just because they no longer feel like it (the latter is particularly hard to take).
To endure trials patiently is a sign of holiness. God is calling you both to greater holiness! Thank him for this.
I think that it might help you both to endure this suffering if you could pray and talk about this with your wife. It may bring you two closer than ever. Unitive without intercourse. Women usually love it when there husbands open up to them about their problems. I don’t think it would make her feel less womanly or inadequate. I had a medical condition for many months where my husband and I could not have intercourse. I wanted to talk about how we were going to handle it. We came up with some things that we could do without sinning. I am fortunate that I can treat my conditon daily with medicine to keep it in check. Are you able let her know that it is okay to hug you and kiss you, or do other things that you could enjoy, without having to have intercourse? Have you prayed together about this?
Dear petriuno,
I’ve been in a similar situation over the last 8 years. My situation differs slightly because there is not a absolute medical reason, it is more phycological. At any rate it is mentally difficult for both spouses. The wife can easily start to worry that the man desires her for selfish pleasure. At the same time she can feel guilty and believe she is failure as a wife.
My husband and I did this also and some of the semen spilled out but my priest said it that this was not a sin. Hopefully this will work for them too.
Apparently You can
t read. I Understand That we are to overcome our weaknesses, but thats not to say we all do, All God asks is that we try, & only he knows if we do. There are people who go a lifetime fighting some the urge to kill someone & they never beat it, did they fight it, Only God knows for sure. We live here on earth we are not rolling around heaven, this is a world full of worldly temptations, like the urge to commit murderWe are natural beings, not super natural, so it`s only reasonable that we are going to fall over & ***give in to that urge to kill ***over againsorry but i don’t feel sorry for people who have to live witout sex & yet have someone thye love in their lives…
Thank you God that I cannot have sex with my wife and my marriage is hurting because of it…it sounds so natural doesn’t it
And I think feelings like those are the source of many of the uncharitable comments made on this topic; the idea being “If I can’t have any pleasure, neither can you”.
whatever happened to loving a person’s soul and mind and heart???Thank you God that I cannot have sex with my wife and my marriage is hurting because of it…it sounds so natural doesn’t it
hmmm…its ok to manually stimulate others but not oneself??
You took my post & twisted it, You are really radical. I am not so sure That you have beaten the masturbation habit
Actually It is permissable to stimulate oneself. In the context of a licit conjucal act. In fact I’ve read reference that the wife is allowed to stimulate herself to orgasm if the husband cannot. Again in the context of a complete licit conjucal act. Infact it may even be **necessary **for the husband to stimulate himself prior to intercourse, say in the case of partial ED. If the husband should stimulate himself during foreplay and for some reason the act is interupted and not completed or there is an accidental release, no sin has been commited because the intent was toward a licit conjucal act. However because the husbands climax is tied inseperably to the procreative means, **It is never permissable to ejaculate outside of the “required vessel.” **It’s different with the wife because her climax isn’t tied inseperably to the proceative means. The procreative and unitive means can happen if no climax is achieved on her part at all. So logic would dictate that it wouldn’t matter if it took place before, during, or after. One could argue that her climax infact would in fact add rather than take away from any of these meanings. However, All intensionally derived sexual pleasure must occur in the context of a licit conjucul union. And again, every ejaculation must occur in the required vessel. You can pose an infinate number of more and more complicated sets of circumstances, but I think that if you always keep these two things in mind, the anwers become clear.
I tend to agree. And it oversimplifies a complex issue especially in cases where one spouse unilaterally withdraws from sex without considering the feelings of the other. The Church rightly teaches that sex is unitive in addition to being procreative, and removing that unitive aspect can do nothing other than put negative pressure on a marriage.
And this is where you’re going wrong, this isn’t about judgments as has been stated many times. It’s about providing good, accurate information which is offered to help build the spirit of our fellow Christian’s.
Well put, I think to many people consider the objections to masterbation to be simply other people’s jugdements. I think the whole point of this forum is to get the knowledge of church teaching on complicated situations as this. That’s what’s being sought. That’s what’s being offered. At the end of the day our personal feelings on these matters don’t matter. For us to be catholic means we must always ultimitly difer to church teaching