Masturbation is not A Sin

[Fauken]

I don’t want to seem like an idiot but if we are talking about addiction then anyone can be addicted to anything including spousal intercourse. I don’t see how masturbation weakens love because I feel that sex where the other party isn’t enjoying the act is tantamount to rape. Also, when I meet a person of the opposite sex the first thing that come to my mind is not sex. I find people who might not be so good looking more attractive than very good-looking people with bad behaviors. Also by your logic, having sex with your spouse just because you enjoy it(even if your spouse is enjoying it)is sinful. I am just really confused.

Sex is for procreation (not simply that, but I can’t find words to describe the other reason for the marital bond). Procreating requires two people. When you masturbate, for men, you willingly kill your sperm and deny them the chance to fertilize an egg and create life for your the sake of your own pleasure. Since this is a violation of how procreation works, it is a violation of the Sixth Commandment. A woman masturbation violates this as she is using her reproductive parts not for procreation. Nocturnal emissions do not count because you are not willingly trying to cause sexual orgasm. Even in dreams, this does not count. I’ve believed myself to be a super hero in dreams before; we are not of sound mind in dreams, and therefore, cannot be sinning.

 

[josh987654321]

Not to mention you’ll go blind…

lol

 

[josh987654321]

A letter from CS Lewis to a young man:]

For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back: sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover: no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself . . . . And it is not only the faculty of love which is thus sterilized, forced back on itself, but also the faculty of imagination.

Yes, I believe that’s a good one too.

 

[pianistclare]

Give up, my friend. You are losing the battle. Masturbation is a sin. Period. You are not going to find a loophole or get off on a technicality. And just because you disagree with Church teaching doesn’t change a thing and it does not excuse you from doing it.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

 

[Trident_H]

I don’t want to seem like an idiot but if we are talking about addiction then anyone can be addicted to anything including spousal intercourse.

Anything can become obsessive. Any obsessive behavior can be thought of as addictive. But sex is more like drugs than it is like shining your shoes. Because it releases chemicals in the brain. And those chemicals are what make you want to keep doing it. Otherwise. Well. Without that the behavior is actually pretty absurd. Really. I mean why else would you spend an entire hour at it? Do you rub your finger for an entire hour?

I don’t see how masturbation weakens love because I feel that sex where the other party isn’t enjoying the act is tantamount to rape.

It weakens your capacity to love. By taking a sharing thing. And making it all about personal pleasure.

Also, when I meet a person of the opposite sex the first thing that come to my mind is not sex.

Ah. Ok? I guess that makes it the 2nd or 3rd thing? I don’t really know where you’re going with this.

I find people who might not be so good looking more attractive than very good-looking people with bad behaviors.

So if I was meeting you would it be fair to put you more in with the first group or the second?

Also by your logic, having sex with your spouse just because you enjoy it(even if your spouse is enjoying it)is sinful. I am just really confused.

Ah, you’re no more confused than you sort of want to be.

Having sex is obviously done because people enjoy it. But if you think it’s a great idea to use your wife only for her body and vice versa your marriage is going to land with a very dull thud. That’s what pornography teaches. That it’s all about feeling good. But the reality is that sex is about more than just feeling good. Because you’ve proven you can get that just with your own hand. So why stop doing that just because you got married?

Sex is also about love and bonding. Sex without that is just mutual masturbation. It’s wrong. It’s empty of meaning. And it comes to a grinding stop the minute one of you no longer finds it pleasurable enough.

 

[Vico]

Your replies are well thought out and meaningful but how exactly is masturbation equivalent to adultery or a lack of chastity?

A lack of chastity is the lack of “the virtue that moderates the desire for sexual pleasure according to the principles of faith and right reason.” We know that the Church teaches that masturbation is contrary to the faith. The other part is that it is also contrary to right reason. In the Bible masturbation is called uncleanness and effeminacy.

---

Modern Catholic Dictionary***

CHASTITY. The virtue that moderates the desire for sexual pleasure according to the principles of faith and right reason. In married people, chastity moderates the desire in conformity with their state of life; in unmarried people who wish to marry, the desire is moderated by abstention until (or unless) they get married; in those who resolve not to marry, the desire is sacrificed entirely.

Chastity and purity, modesty and decency are comparable in that they have the basic meaning of freedom from whatever is lewd or salacious. Yet they also differ. Chastity implies an opposition to the immoral in the sense of lustful or licentious. It suggests refraining from all acts or thoughts that are not in accordance with the Church’s teaching about the use of one’s reproductive powers. It particularly stresses restraint and an avoidance of anything that might defile or make unclean the soul because the body has not been controlled in the exercise of its most imperious passion.

(Etym. Latin castus, morally pure, unstained.)

 

[Boccherini]

You can’t win the argument because the Catholic Church says that masturbation is wrong and that’s that.

I can see that masturbation isn’t very spiritual and that it might be good not to do it if you want to grow spiritually, but some of the other arguments against it here are hardly convincing. To say that it’s selfish makes no sense to me. To say that it’s disordered – well, then all drinking, smoking should be sinful. Think about it, drinking abuses the mind and the intellect and is a million times more unnatural than masturbation. Even drinking one glass of wine.

I also don’t watch porn that is fake or forceful because I believe that if the woman isn’t enjoying the sex then what I am doing is tantamount to rape. My major turn-on is a woman that is turned-on and enjoying the act.

I wouldn’t fool myself into thinking that the women in porn enjoy themselves, they are expected to behave that way because it turns men on. A lot of porn is about women “enjoying” being degraded.
And even if they do enjoy it that doesn’t make it right.
Buying into the myth that women enjoy that kind of thing (whatever it is) is one of the very bad effects that porn can have on men.

 

[1ke]

I wouldn’t fool myself into thinking that the women in porn enjoy themselves, they are expected to behave that way because it turns men on. A lot of porn is about women “enjoying” being degraded.

And even if they do enjoy it that doesn’t make it right.

Buying into the myth that women enjoy that kind of thing (whatever it is) is one of the very bad effects that porn can have on men.

Yes, and let’s not forget that the root word from which pornography gets its name pornos, which means to sell off one’s purity (into prostitution), particularly female slaves sold into sexual servitude. It is now used to describe obscene pictures, movies, books, and other media.

The closely related porneia is used throughout the bible and it means sexual immorality and unchastity of all types including fornication, incest (including Greek and Roman marriages within forbidden degrees of kinship), harlotry, and sexual promiscuity. Viewing and making pornography is the sin of porneia.

Marital unfaithfulness (adultery) is a different word-- moixeia.

It is also used figuratively for Israel in the sense of prostituting themselves to idols, idolatry.

 

[ShadowBoxer]

Before I begin my response let me preface it with this disclaimer: I am not married, I’m just another twenty-something, Catholic male trying to maintain his chastity. The other members have provided ample references that prove that masturbation is considered a mortal sin by the Catholic Church. What I am going to attempt to do is to explain the Church’s rationale. While I have not read Theology of the Body in anywhere near its entirety, I believe I am correct when I say that the Church has defined two aspects to the marital act: Unitive and Procreative. The test that has helped me to decide whether a sexual act qualifies as a sin is to determine whether it violates one or both of those two aspects. As I see it, masturbation definitely qualifies and here’s why. Masturbation cannot lead to procreation for obvious reasons. Now I am not one of those Catholics that believes that a couple has to be “trying” every time they have intercourse as long as ejaculation happens in the appropriate place and the Unitive aspect is not violated. So how does masturbation violate the Unitive aspect? When you boil it all down masturbation is basically having sex with yourself. How is it possible to bond with another person when the bonding act is directed back against oneself? I hope this makes things a little clearer.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Apparently age is also a determining factor.

The CCC for smart adults that certainly could take any teen’s highschool biology test and get an “A” without cracking a book.
Says this

2396 Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices.

Indicating grave matter. In fact the word grave is used to describe the EVIL of masturbation for all of us smart adults.

But it would appear that either a teen either is incapable of understanding that verse and is in need of a cartoon stick figure, or the Evilness does not apply as long as you are under the age of 18…
YouCat. (an approved Catechism for teens) States:

Question 409 (Page 222)

Is Masturbation an offense against love?

Masturbation is an offense against love, because it makes the excitement of sexual pleasure an end in itself and uncouples it from the holistic unfolding of love between a man and a women. That is why “sex with yourself” is a contradiction in terms.

The Church does not demonize masturbation, but she warns against trivializing it. In fact many young people and adults are in danger of becoming isolated in their consumption of lewd pictures, films, and Internet services instead of finding love in a personal relationship. Loneliness can lead to a blind alley in which masturbation becomes an addiction. Living by the motto ‘“For sex I do not need anyone; i will have it myself, however and whenever I need it” makes nobody happy.

Not only does the idea that the Church not “demonize” masturbation seem to contradict the “Gravity” of the original CCC but it also re frames it as a sin against socialization. So, chronic masturbation = unhealthy for your social life. So masturbation would be in the same category of sin as video game playing.

So, to clarify,
If you are an adult masturbation contains grave matter. lending itself to mortal sin.
But if you are a teen it is not “grave” but perhaps you should go make some friends instead…

 

[fromckcc]

Apparently age is also a determining factor.

The CCC for smart adults that certainly could take any teen’s highschool biology test and get an “A” without cracking a book.
Says this

Indicating grave matter. In fact the word grave is used to describe the EVIL of masturbation for all of us smart adults.

But it would appear that either a teen either is incapable of understanding that verse and is in need of a cartoon stick figure, or the Evilness does not apply as long as you are under the age of 18…
YouCat. (an approved Catechism for teens) States:

Not only does the idea that the Church not “demonize” masturbation seem to contradict the “Gravity” of the original CCC but it also re frames it as a sin against socialization. So, chronic masturbation = unhealthy for your social life. So masturbation would be in the same category of sin as video game playing.

So, to clarify,
If you are an adult masturbation contains grave matter. lending itself to mortal sin.
But if you are a teen it is not “grave” but perhaps you should go make some friends instead…

Why would something be a sin for adults and not for children?

 

[EasterJoy]

…I also don’t watch porn that is fake or forceful because I believe that if the woman isn’t enjoying the sex then what I am doing is tantamount to rape. My major turn-on is a woman that is turned-on and enjoying the act…

If you think it is normal for a married couple to want to engage in sexual relations together and let other people watch them, you have a* serious* problem. Do your really have to think about whether filming the sex you have with your wife so that other people can masturbate while watching you is sick or not? If it is not the sex between a husband and wife that you are watching, then what is it? Can’t you see *you do not belong *in that room with them?

Are you beginning to see how anesthetized you are about what you’ve been doing?

 

[pensmama87]

Why would something be a sin for adults and not for children?

He’s being sarcastic.

The phrasing in the YouCat would seem to me to be an attempt to engage teens in thought about it, rather than using language that will encourage them to file it under “oh yeah, the Church thinks sex is bad and never wants anybody to have fun” and thus dismiss the whole thing. It’s an attempt to meet teens where they are. HD pretty clearly seems to think that attempt is no good. I disagree, but it’s not really the subject of the thread.

To honestly answer your question, though, children would typically be regarded as less culpable for sins than an adult, even though the act is clearly wrong. Many countries have a separate juvenile court system for the same reason.

 

[EasterJoy]

…I don’t see how masturbation weakens love because I feel that sex where the other party isn’t enjoying the act is tantamount to rape…

You are proposing that the only two options are sex forced onto a spouse who isn’t inclined to share sex with you right now and bringing yourself to climax.

You don’t seem to realize that if you won’t die if you have to go without a climax when you’d really like to have one. It is possible to just do without. That won’t “make a person go blind,” either.

 

[EasterJoy]

Before I begin my response let me preface it with this disclaimer: I am not married, I’m just another twenty-something, Catholic male trying to maintain his chastity. The other members have provided ample references that prove that masturbation is considered a mortal sin by the Catholic Church. What I am going to attempt to do is to explain the Church’s rationale. While I have not read Theology of the Body in anywhere near its entirety, I believe I am correct when I say that the Church has defined two aspects to the marital act: Unitive and Procreative. The test that has helped me to decide whether a sexual act qualifies as a sin is to determine whether it violates one or both of those two aspects. As I see it, masturbation definitely qualifies and here’s why. Masturbation cannot lead to procreation for obvious reasons. Now I am not one of those Catholics that believes that a couple has to be “trying” every time they have intercourse as long as ejaculation happens in the appropriate place and the Unitive aspect is not violated. So how does masturbation violate the Unitive aspect? When you boil it all down masturbation is basically having sex with yourself. How is it possible to bond with another person when the bonding act is directed back against oneself? I hope this makes things a little clearer.

Which is to say that sex is intended to achieve a good other than individual pleasure, just as eating is intended to achieve a good other than pleasure and working is intended to achieve a good other than pleasure. If you act so as to please no one but yourself, in what way are you acting to love either God or your neighbor?

 

[spiderweb]

Masturbation is a sin because it’s an abuse of the body. It is using the sexual organs in a manner in which they are not designed to be used. By it’s natural design, sex is meant for two people, not one.

Sex is also Holy. It is the one act by which mankind participates with God in creating new life. Masturbation turns that triunity of man, woman, and God into an act which removes God and treats another person, who is made in the image of God, into a tool for ones own pleasure. It is no longer an act of giving. It is no longer an act of love. It is no longer an act of life. It is no longer an act of unity. This is in opposition to the God given design of sex in general. Opposition to the design is opposition to the Designer. Opposition to the Designer means that it is a sin.

Masturbation is also a form of slavery. Don’t think so? Then try not to do it for at least three months. If you cannot do it for that short period of time, then you are a slave to it. A willing slave, but a slave nevertheless. You are a slave to the physical craving, the psychological and mental cravings, and the chemically induced “high” from the chemicals released by the body. Jesus came to set us free from bondage (Gal 5:1), and that includes bondage to our own passions.

 

[UbiCaritas]

I don’t want to seem like an idiot but if we are talking about addiction then anyone can be addicted to anything including spousal intercourse. I don’t see how masturbation weakens love because I feel that sex where the other party isn’t enjoying the act is tantamount to rape. Also, when I meet a person of the opposite sex the first thing that come to my mind is not sex. I find people who might not be so good looking more attractive than very good-looking people with bad behaviors. Also by your logic, having sex with your spouse just because you enjoy it(even if your spouse is enjoying it)is sinful. I am just really confused.

Sex isn’t just about enjoying the act itself, though–it’s (ideally) about mutual self-giving.

If you’re married, there will be times when a spouse might not feel like sex. The wife might be tired and touched-out after a long day of kid-wrangling; her husband might be stressed about his parents’ health, or might have had a bad commute on the way home, and so on. In a loving marriage, sex is about self-giving, even if you’re not always 100% “into” it. Love isn’t a feeling; it’s an action.

(This isn’t to say that a spouse can never say no, just that being in the habit of saying no without a good reason isn’t healthy for a loving marriage.)

There’s a wide field between not being really into sex and rape, a WIDE field. In a loving marriage, sometimes you’ll say “sure thing, honey” when asked for sex even if you don’t want it per se because you want to give of yourself to a spouse who does want it right then, just like a loving spouse would be accepting of “I’d love to, darling, but I’ve had a long day and I’m covered in spit-up. I’m going to go take a bath with a very large glass of wine, and I promise (wink, wink) I’ll be much more in the mood after that. See you in the bedroom in thirty!”

And sometimes you go into sex saying to yourself"eh, this wasn’t quite what I felt like tonight, but I bet I’ll get into it in a little, and I love Spouse, so here goes," or even out loud “well, I’m not in the mood, but I’ll bet you can get me into it!”

Like I said–self giving. It’s not about you.

 

[fromckcc]

Masturbation is a sin because it’s an abuse of the body. It is using the sexual organs in a manner in which they are not designed to be used. By it’s natural design, sex is meant for two people, not one.

Sex is also Holy. It is the one act by which mankind participates with God in creating new life. Masturbation turns that triunity of man, woman, and God into an act which removes God and treats another person, who is made in the image of God, into a tool for ones own pleasure. It is no longer an act of giving. It is no longer an act of love. It is no longer an act of life. It is no longer an act of unity. This is in opposition to the God given design of sex in general. Opposition to the design is opposition to the Designer. Opposition to the Designer means that it is a sin.

Masturbation is also a form of slavery. Don’t think so? Then try not to do it for at least three months. If you cannot do it for that short period of time, then you are a slave to it. A willing slave, but a slave nevertheless. You are a slave to the physical craving, the psychological and mental cravings, and the chemically induced “high” from the chemicals released by the body. Jesus came to set us free from bondage (Gal 5:1), and that includes bondage to our own passions.

One can be a slave to marital sex too.

 

[pensmama87]

One can be a slave to marital sex too.

Yes, such would also be sinful, because it disregards the dignity of the spouse in favor of treating him or her as an object or means to an end.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

One can be a slave to marital sex too.

Interesting thought. In your opinion - recognizing that there may be no specific Church teaching on this - at what level of frequency would you say that a couple is “a slave” to the marriage act? Would this vary by age?