+J.M.J+
i guess another part of the problem is that when i masturbate regularly (once every day or two) i seem to have better control of my sexual fantasies. when i start to go 5, 6, 7 days without it, i can’t stop having these fantasies all the time. right now it’s been five days and i know it’s going to start to get tough.
When dealing with temptation, the first thing to remember is that God allows us to be tempted in order to give us a chance to gain more merit by resisting it. If we were never tested we would not get a chance to grow in grace. So next time you are tempted,
try to look at it as an opportunity to gain merit by resisting. Change your basic attitude toward temptation.
(Note: This does not mean that we should seek out temptation, since we are supposed to avoid near occasions of sin. Wait until temptation arises, as it inevitably will; you will have plenty such opportunities to gain merit during life, believe me! No need to create more.)
When tempted, the very first thing you must do is
turn away from the temptation. If it is something you see, avert your eyes immediately. If it is a thought, banish it from your mind right away! Temptations to impurity are always most easily defeated if countered right at the start; the longer you entertain an impure thought the more it will get its claws into you.
When you turn
from the temptation, simultaneously turn
to God and pray for His help. One of the best ways to do this is to memorize and recite a Scripture verse, such as,
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me” (Ps 51:13), or "
O God come to my assistance; O Lord, make haste to help me!" (Ps. 70:2), or maybe a portion of 1 Corinthians 6:15-20 (which I cited above). Make this a sincere cry of help to God from your heart.
You can also pray something like, “Jesus, Mary, help me!” or “Virgin most Pure, help me!” or “Mary, protect me from this sin!” or “O Jesus, O Mary, let me die rather than offend you by though, word or deed. In the name of the Father+, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.” In fact, it is a good idea to devoutly make the Sign of the Cross at the same time, or just trace a cross on your forehead. Many saints recommend that in time of temptation. If the temptation is demonic in origin, the Sign of the Cross and/or Holy Water may put an end to it right there (of course, some temptations simply come from our own minds).
You may have to keep praying like that and citing Scripture for the duration of the temptation, but no matter how long it lasts just keep turning away from it and praying for God’s help. No temptation lasts forever, it will subside.
Also, don’t forget that God gives you sufficient grace to resist any temptation and has even promised to make a way of escape for you:
“God is faithful and will not permit you to be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also give you a way out that you may be able to bear it” (1 Cor. 10:13). So when you are tempted, after turning away from the temptation and toward God,
humble yourself before Him, tell Him you know that you can’t resist without His help, ask Him for the grace to resist and say, “Please help me to find the way out that you have made for me.” Then trust that He will show you the way out and try to distract yourself from the temptation. Try to dismiss the thought from your mind and find something else to do that will not be an occasion of sin.
There’s a lot more that could be said about this, especially about the importance of humility and total reliance on grace rather than ones own strength. But the above is just a quick “crash course” in resisting temptation. Hope it helps. God bless you.
In Jesu et Maria,
