Men - how do you feel about your wife seeing a male physician?

[Sarabande]

Hi Liza. I’m not a male, but my father is a General Practitioner. When he was younger and was a resident/intern, he had to do obstetrics and gynecology, etc. We’re very open and frank about things in our family, so I asked him how he handled this as a young man. He told me that, quite honestly, when he puts the doctor’s “hat” on it just changes. He looks at the patient as a patient. But the other thing that helped him was that most of the patients who he had to deal with were not the kind who were good with hygeine down there. It actually turned him off to obstetrics and gynecology. My mother and a few of my aunts are in nursing and expressed the same things.

In terms of being a GP, my father is known to have an excellent bedside manner and always helps to make his patient very comfortable and feel cared for. He’s always behind in schedule because he takes his time with each patient. With most female patients he says it’s very easy to just have the hat on and along with that, he always has a female medical assistant in the room with him. That’s more to make sure the patient feels comfortable and also for witnesses in case some jerk patient wants to make an extra buck by telling lies. The funny thing is, a lot of his older female patients don’t like have the medical assistant in there with them, although they do accept the practice. Honestly, I can see how easy it would be to block off the gender part of a patient. I once considered being a dermatologist because I’m really interested in the skin, it’s diseases, pimples and whatnot. And even now when I study the skin of others in my family or outside, everything else gets blurred and it’s just the part of the body that I’m looking at.

 

[Sarabande]

P.S. That said, although I have a male GP as my doctor, I couldn’t feel comfortable with a male gynecologist and I think that stems from being molested by a male as a child. Mine is a female.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

My husband says to tell you it is immaterial to him, as long as it is kept to business and not pleasure. BTW_ He prefers our female GP, as do I.

 

[thechrismyster]

I had my first visit with a new Ob/Gyn yesterday. He is a very nice doctor and comes very highly recommended. It was the first time I’ve been examined by a male doctor in well over 10 years. I felt surprisingly comfortable with him, which is what I’ve been told to expect by other patients who see him.

But it got me wondering. How do men feel about their wives being examined by male doctors? Is it a total non-issue? Or are some bothered by it?

I had some bad experiences in the past with male doctors so I switched to a female doctor for the past 10 years or so, but distance and insurance have caused me to switch, and I’m happy with my choice so far.

Men? Comments?

~Liza

being that they are doctors and thats their job, i couldn’t care less if my wife sees a male doctor.
people who have issues with this have bigger issues than an internet forum can solve.

 

[Orionthehunter]

But to have a doctor, male, WANT to specialize in looking at women’s you know whats eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty two weeks a year. And not just LOOKING at them, touching them, going inside them, etc. What would inspire a man to do such a thing? I CERTAINLY could never be married to such a man, after he’s seen/touched that many women in the most intimate of areas.

I really think that a general practicioner can and should do these check ups. I don’t think any male should need to specialize in something like gynecology. I mean, no matter how strong he is, its has to be a source of impure thoughts at the very least. I couldn’t stand a man that did that all day long, every single day looking/touching me.

As one of the few men who have posted on this, I couldn’t care less who my wife decides she to have as her doctor.

As one who has a male friend who is an ob/gyn, he says that any sexual thoughts he has had about this passed before he was out of med school and had done his first exam. The clinical training removes all sense of sexuality out of it.

But I do want to say that I strongly reject what I have bolded above. Women should be glad that anyone wants to do this for them just as I’m glad that there are people who specialize in colonoscopies to detect colon cancer and those who inspect prostrates. We should not be projecting onto people who choose to serve us in this way with characterizations that their motives are impure or are perverts.

 

[lizaanne]

people who have issues with this have bigger issues than an internet forum can solve.

I don’t believe anyone is trying to solve anything on this thread. It was simply an opportunity to discuss the topic.

~Liza

 

[duskyjewel]

Honestly, I view this as a maturity issue. I think it’s infantile (and controlling) for a man to care whether his wife’s doctor is male or female. It’s more important that they are compassionate and competent. If my husband ever brought this up, I would tell him to grow up.

He doesn’t care, BTW.

 

[Sarabande]

As one who has a male friend who is an ob/gyn, he says that any sexual thoughts he has had about this passed before he was out of med school and had done his first exam. The clinical training removes all sense of sexuality out of it.

But I do want to say that I strongly reject what I have bolded above. Women should be glad that anyone wants to do this for them just as I’m glad that there are people who specialize in colonoscopies to detect colon cancer and those who inspect prostrates. We should not be projecting onto people who choose to serve us in this way with characterizations that their motives are impure or are perverts.

Thank you. I agree with this. My father and I believe most doctors would agree with your friend about the removal of sexuality, especially when having to look one part of the human body day in and day out. Many times that part of the body is not the most hygenic (based on the stories my parents and other family have told me, many people still don’t make a point to be clean when they go in for a checkup. It’s not nice for any of the senses) and when looking at things clinically, there is nothing sexually attractive about it at all.

 

[TC2]

DH has no problems with my seeing a male gyn.
I have in the past, but currently am with a female.

Like others have said, you can have bad experiences
with each, it’s not gender specific.
I’d rather an excellent male gyn than an ok female.
It’s my health on the line here, after all.

I don’t care which, personally, I’m just glad there are
people, men and women, who desire to help women
in all health aspects. That’s ALWAYS a good thing, IMO.

As for ‘who would want to do that?’
Well, have you looked into the funerary business?
I ask ‘who would want to do THAT?’
To each their own, and be glad that we have good
professionals out there, of both sexes.

(no offense to those in the funerary business)

 

[AHapka]

My wife has a male obsetrician. She’s seen him through 3 babies. We just found out baby #4 is coming yesterday, so she’ll be seeing him again.

My wife had no clue as to who to use with baby #1, so I chose the obsetrician. I’m a sheriff’s deputy and had to take female inmates to the doctor as part of my job, so I got to meet and listen to all of the ones at the practice, and so I recommended who I thought was the best and he happened to be male (oh, I didn’t sit in with them for exams, I sat outside and figured if I heard the Doc screaming then i’d come in).

I can’t see why any husband would have a problem with it? Wouldn’t they want what’s best for their wife, even if it meant a male md? If they feel bad for it, I guess I would say offer it up.

And I was going to make the point, but someone already did. There are women who are lesbians who may be obstetricians. If you are truly concerned about having a male obsetrician because he could be looking at you sexually then you should be asking a female obsetrician if she’s a lesbian who might look at you sexually. It’s crude, but true.

When I deal with women in my job, I deal with them as a professional. I feel that I want the best professional for my wife, irregardless of sex or race or age or any of that. My wife and little ones are more important to me then such considerations.

Andy

 

[dixieagle]

**This is true, but back in the day, doctors weren’t so specialized either. I know it is a part of the anatomy, and I have no problems with it being one of many things a doctor cares for/examines. But it being the ONLY thing a doctor does all day every day? EEK! **

Good heavens, some of you folks sound like Muslims!!!

If you’re OK with a male physician doing ob/gyn exams, why would you NOT want a specialist who is far more experienced and familiar with all the problems that can arise? Doesn’t make any sense.

Just give me the best-trained physician (as long as he/she supported and understood NFP, when I was younger) whether male or female. I’ve had both, and my husband never batted an eyelash.

 

[Jay2]

But to have a doctor, male, WANT to specialize in looking at women’s you know whats eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty two weeks a year. And not just LOOKING at them, touching them, going inside them, etc. What would inspire a man to do such a thing?

The same could be said about a Proctologist… male or female… who would/could look forward to “probing” THAT area of anatomy!

My thinking is this: If you’ve got a problem with your “guy” parts, see a man. If you’ve got a problem with your “girl” parts, see a woman…They possess the same organs as you do, and may be able to better relate to what’s going on.

My wife sees a female Doc, and a female NP.

 

[whatevergirl]

**Ha ha ha ha! My husband and I have been round in circles with this.

Now we understand the Obstetrician part. They are helping women bring new life into the world and you can’t beat that. What a miracle and blessing!

But to have a doctor, male, WANT to specialize in looking at women’s you know whats eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty two weeks a year. And not just LOOKING at them, touching them, going inside them, etc. What would inspire a man to do such a thing? I CERTAINLY could never be married to such a man, after he’s seen/touched that many women in the most intimate of areas.

I really think that a general practicioner can and should do these check ups. I don’t think any male should need to specialize in something like gynecology. I mean, no matter how strong he is, its has to be a source of impure thoughts at the very least. I couldn’t stand a man that did that all day long, every single day looking/touching me.

I usually just have my regular practitioner check everything out. It is no where near his SOLE practice. And it doesn’t give me, or my husband the hebbie gebbies because of it.

EDIT…so both my husband and I agree that it is simply, case closed, not necessary nor prudent to see one.

**

The problem is that we think of our organs as merely for sex, and that’s how we think these doctors are viewing them…and perhaps some are, probably a small percentage. I do agree that it would be weird to have a husband who did this for a living…so, honey, how was your day?

 

[dixieagle]

Honestly, I view this as a maturity issue. I think it’s infantile (and controlling) for a man to care whether his wife’s doctor is male or female. It’s more important that they are compassionate and competent. If my husband ever brought this up, I would tell him to grow up.

He doesn’t care, BTW.

LOL

 

[whatevergirl]

Good heavens, some of you folks sound like Muslims!!!

If you’re OK with a male physician doing ob/gyn exams, why would you NOT want a specialist who is far more experienced and familiar with all the problems that can arise? Doesn’t make any sense.

Just give me the best-trained physician (as long as he/she supported and understood NFP, when I was younger) whether male or female. I’ve had both, and my husband never batted an eyelash.

I agree…I personally feel better going to a female now, but my husband really didn’t care, as long as I was seeing the ‘best.’

 

[dove51]

I’m not a man, but I think guys can rest easy on this one. Trust me, there is nothing sexy about going to the ob/gyn LOL.

 

[Smber2c]

Women should be glad that anyone wants to do this for them just as I’m glad that there are people who specialize in colonoscopies to detect colon cancer and those who inspect prostrates. We should not be projecting onto people who choose to serve us in this way with characterizations that their motives are impure or are perverts.

Orion this is very true. I’m certainly no physician, but I am a male who’s studying to be a nurse, and no matter how crass and disgusting some of my fellow students get on break, I’m amazed how respectful they become when we are dealing with a patient.

Most of my clinical hours so far have been in geriatrics - and I’ve dressed, changed (clothes or diapers), and cleaned wounds on over a dozen different women. I was a bit worried at first how awkward cleaning a female’s privates would be. Turns out, not very awkward at all. I just pull the diaper open, do what need to be done, chat with the patient to keep potential awkward silence at bay, and get on my way.
The biggest concern I see is the risk for humiliation of the patient. One or two women have asked for a female nurse when I responded to their call light, and I simply tell them, “Happy Mrs. ___, I’ll go and get one of them right now.”

A medical professional wants to serve their client’s needs and doesn’t have time for inappropriate thoughts and actions. I’ve no doubt that there are some who do abuse their position, however another person also raised the possibility of homosexual doctors…so unless we program robots to do our examinations, we’ll never be sure that people aren’t abusing our vulnerability.

I trust that the vast majority of our doctors have no ill intent and would be fine with my wife (if I had one) going to a male doctor.

 

[duskyjewel]

To answer the question about why would someone want to do that all day…

Have you seen the Lipitor ad with Dr. Jarvik, who invented the artificial heart? He says he wanted to be an architect when he was in school, and then his dad died of a heart attack. After that, he dedicated his life to medicine, specializing in cardiology.

Well, how about a man who lost his mother or another important woman in his life to cervical or ovarian cancer? That could motivate him to want to help women avoid those diseases… hence he would be a gynecologist.

 

[Goth_Catholic]

I’m still too young for this (thank God) and female, but I’d like to comment a bit off topic.

For those of you who baby-sat, is it ackward or sexual for you to change diapers? And when the child is older and you see him/her, do you think “I changed your diapers”. Of course not. I imagine it’s the same for GYNs

 

[Teakafrog]

To answer the question about why would someone want to do that all day…

Honestly that could go for ANY of us in the medical field. I had people say it to me when I was an aide in the nursing home working my way through school, they said it when I worked oncology and gave chemotherapy to dying patients, they said it when I worked in the neuro ICU with people who have incurable head injuries. I do it because I want to help people. No matter what is wrong with them, they need SOMEONE to care for them. And I’m glad it’s me and not you, if all you can think about is sex when you should be caring for a patient. Again, having seen literally hundreds of naked bottoms of both genders throughout my career, never once was sex anywhere at all in my mind. I did what I needed to do, whether it was clean a wound, insert a catheter, check a laboring woman for dilation, or whatever, and then went on with my job. After reading some of the responses here, I can say for certain that there really are people who should never go into healthcare. The lack of maturity is amazing.