Men must masturbate?

[Dancelittleewok]

What about those who are a long way from marriage? They just bottle it up or what?

You can also get away from situation by putting that sexual energy into a truly productive activity such as riding the bike, doing homework, etc.

 

[mercygate]

I really don’t see the “evil” in this matter. It’s like any time we try to have a little fun the church says NO.

Before I became Catholic I couldn’t “see” a lot of stuff the Catholic taught. My English grandmother used to tell me that the Catholic Church was so poisonous that they told people that if somebody saw “white” and the Church said it was “black” the person had to accept that it was black. Well, as I drew closer to the Church, to understanding her teachings, a lot of stuff I had formerly seen as white (contraception, abortion) started shading into grey and then finally turned to black. So the old Ignatian admonition to accept the Church’s teaching, even if it was completely against a person’s personal views made a lot of sense.

St. Paul says that sin darkens the mind (i.e., makes you stupid). And there’s an old wive’s tale that masturbation makes you go blind. Well, it might not make you lose your eyesight, but it sure can make you lose your mind-sight.

 

[fiat1122]

lol, that must have sucked. Your poor traumatized cousin. But I agree that if we are not alone then we will eventually find ways to be alone. The reason I can avoid masterbating when I am around others is I know that be it a few days or a week or what not, eventually I will be back at home alone and then I can masterbate aagin. If I had to live constantly in a situation around others I might start finding ways to be alone.

LOL.

 

[Transformer]

What about those who are a long way from marriage? They just bottle it up or what?

The way the world tells us male sexuality works is a lie, it’s just that simple. We’re told that sexual energy just builds up in us until it has to be released, leading not only to the belief that masturbation is unavoidable, but the belief that sex in marriage exists to relieve sexual tension rather than as an exchange of persons and a participation in God’s creative love for humanity.

In reality, that isn’t how it works at all. Sexual energy doesn’t build up constantly in anyone, unless we put it there somehow. even physically, many adults who never engage in sexual acts don’t have nocturnal emissions because their bodies just flush out the proteins naturally and absorb or excrete whatever’s left. The idea that we have to indulge in sex somehow leads to the false dichotomy if repression or indulgence. In reality, there is a third choice: sexual redemption. Christopher West uses that term to refer to a properly ordered sexuality in which lust does not constantly build and any sexual energy that does build naturally is channeled into non-explicitly sexual channels for the greater glory of God. It’s very possible, I promise you. trust the matter to Christ.

 

[Transformer]

How did you overcome this ‘sin’, those of you that have?

I stopped perhaps 14 months ago. I would recommend this, from a practical standpoint.

First, Get rid of the pornography. I would be incredibly surprised if anyone, ever gave up pornography and masturbation in that order. You have to stop the explicit stuff first.

Secondly, pray unceasingly, constantly, no matter what, every time you use a computer, and every time you might be tempted. If a situation might be tempting, get completely out of the situation. Also, never, ever give up. Every time you fail, commit yourself to stopping once again. It takes most people several tries.

Thirdly, keep yourself occupied. If you find yourself sitting at home a lot or going to bed when you arn’t really all that tired, find something to do, outside of your house if possible.

Fourthly, remind yourself every morning of all the reasons who masturbation I wrong. Along with lingering pronography, the next thing that makes it incredibly difficult to quit is not really being sure that it’s wrong. It has a myriad of negative effects, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. research them all, maybe write them down, and go over them constantly.

Fifth, something I managed to get by without doing, but which would have made it much easier and less painful. Find an accountability partner. Tell him when you fall, every time. Tell him when you’re tempted, every time. He can offer you sound advice and encouragement, and keep track of your progress.

Sixth, and most important of all, put it in Christ’s hands. Can any human being stop masturbating through any technique, any degree of self-control? Maybe not. Can that same person stop by allowing Christ to live in them? Of course they can. Remember, every time you pray, you’re praying to the God who gave Max Kolbe the strength to starve nearly to death singing His praises. You’re praying to the God who allowed John Bosco to transform the lives of six hundred boys without money or help. You’re praying to the God who changed Paul, the great murderer of Christians, into the quintesential early Christian. And you’re praying to the God who not only gave his Son the strength to die a horrible death, but the strength to take every sin that ever was and would be unto himself. Do you honestly think that same God is not going to give you the strength to overcome this one sin? He will; offer it up to him every moment.

 

[Andres08]

I just want to ask. What is better. To masturbate as I do or to turn over to be homosexual? In relations Women often lost their sexual entusiasm.

Andres

 

[DeltaForce]

I just want to ask. What is better. To masturbate as I do or to turn over to be homosexual? In relations Women often lost their sexual entusiasm.

Andres

Woah! Your wife’s lost her sexual enthusiasm so you want to become a homosexual?

 

[Andres08]

No. I didn"t said it. But sex without her wish is way to masturbate. That"s what I want to say. But first sequence was been questionnaire what better is. To masturbate or to turn over to be homosexual? That because I masturbating.

Actually I have not wife any more and single life is in my case much better option.

Andres

 

[mercygate]

No. I didn"t said it. But sex without her wish is way to masturbate. That"s what I want to say. But first sequence was been questionnaire what better is. To masturbate or to turn over to be homosexual? That because I masturbating.

Actually I have not wife any more and single life is in my case much better option.

Andres

This goes beyond a discussion of the moral and pastoral issues of the subect and is far beyond a forum like this. Concerns about your marriage and the choices you are now making would be far better addressed in face to face professional counseling with your pastor.

 

[Andres08]

I am very very afraid that I am not only one “like that” here. But usually is people not talking about. They are shy to recognize something like masturbation. Have church so much influence on people? I think so, but it is not good, believe.

As editor of some web magazine I just now writing true story about priests and boy in the middle of Europe 40 y ago. And this is not worst. The worst is influence what I am going to write in some other topic, because it is not point of masturbatuion.

Andres

 

[corvidae]

Andre, maybe I am getting this wrong, but you talked about how it is masturbation to have sex when your wife does not want to. If that is what you are saying, that is not masturbation, that is rape.

As far as what you said about either masturbating or becoming homosexual, I would say neither. It is not an either or situation. Both are gravely disordered.

A lone Raven

p.s.- I believe you should contact a counselor or a priest to help

 

[Andres08]

Andre, maybe I am getting this wrong, but you talked about how it is masturbation to have sex when your wife does not want to. If that is what you are saying, that is not masturbation, that is rape.

As far as what you said about either masturbating or becoming homosexual, I would say neither. It is not an either or situation. Both are gravely disordered.

A lone Raven

p.s.- I believe you should contact a counselor or a priest to help

I am just talking one thing. It is better to masturbate than to be homosexual.
Priest? Hmm. Should I visit him? Actually has he never been marriage. How can he speak from his own experience as husband or partner? You must recognise that most of people here have much more partnership experience as any catholic priest. How can they talk about something like masturbation in or out of relations?

Andres

 

[corvidae]

Ok andre, again, I would say that neither of those outcomes, masturbation or homosexuality are good. I do not know which is better, as it has been said both are gravely disordered.

As far as the priests advice, it doesn’t take a sick doctor to know what could help people get well. The priest has studied morality, what is right and what is wrong, and so would be able to help in that area of life.

Think of this example. I know that cannabalism is wrong, while I have never been a cannibal myself. I do not need to actually experiance something to know about it and be able to offer advice on the subject.

A lone Raven

p.s.- I apologize if I jumped to conclusions previously, I was attempting to be cautious, however, I felt that I needed to say what was said if indeed that had been what you were talking about.

 

[Andres08]

Corvidae.

It is ok. Priest are learned morality, yes. Also nuns, as we had three in our family and my grandmother needed to be to. 70 years ago. But she changed mind in last moment. What I want to hear is also more flexibility in catholic rules. Taoism for example have some kind of exercise for better and longer sex. Other exercise are different. They works against masturbation and sex. Just to keep inner energy in body and mind.
No one catholic said me that our church teaching it.

Andres

 

[corvidae]

What kind of flexibility do you wish?
The Catholic Church cannot say what is wrong is right, or what is right is wrong.

You say you wish for flexibility like Taoism. But Taoism is a very different religion than Catholicism and is a completely different way of looking at things.

Catholicism is not anti-sex. I find it amazing that soem people will call the Church anti-sex, and also insult large Catholic families in the same breath. If you want to look at how important sex is to Catholicism, I would recommend reading “Love and Responsibility” and also “Theology of the Body” both by Pope John Paul the Second. And I would recommend reading them before saying the Pope was not married so how would he know anything. You will be surprised.

A lone Raven

 

[fiat1122]

What kind of flexibility do you wish?
The Catholic Church cannot say what is wrong is right, or what is right is wrong.

You say you wish for flexibility like Taoism. But Taoism is a very different religion than Catholicism and is a completely different way of looking at things.

Catholicism is not anti-sex. I find it amazing that soem people will call the Church anti-sex, and also insult large Catholic families in the same breath. If you want to look at how important sex is to Catholicism, I would recommend reading “Love and Responsibility” and also “Theology of the Body” both by Pope John Paul the Second. And I would recommend reading them before saying the Pope was not married so how would he know anything. You will be surprised.

A lone Raven

 

[Celtic_FC]

I would also add that it is probably easier to decrease the urge by not watching tv. It is extreme, but look at the garbage the idiot box spews out daily.

 

[Andres08]

TV can"t have influence, rather Internet in last years. But until surfers are more and less on sites like this, they haven"t time to wach porn online. But I stil don"t understand why some people want to stop masturbation. Wish also to know more than one reason for that… I can understand fight against abortion. But masturbation is not same thing.

Andres

 

[davidv]

TV can"t have influence, rather Internet in last years. But until surfers are more and less on sites like this, they haven"t time to wach porn online. But I stil don"t understand why some people want to stop masturbation. Wish also to know more than one reason for that… I can understand fight against abortion. But masturbation is not same thing.

Andres

It may not be the same thing but that does not change its seriousness. This is what the Catechism has to say (emphesis is mine):

"**2352 **By *masturbation *is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”

 

[setter]

But I stil don"t understand why some people want to stop masturbation. Wish also to know more than one reason for that… I can understand fight against abortion. But masturbation is not same thing.

Andres

For your understanding, of course they are not both the same thing, but the Church teaches that left unrepentent in mortal sin, both these sins can end one up in eternal damnation. I really have a hard time understanding why a Catholic would not take up arms against sin in general, and wanton and grave sin specifically.