Men's purity - What can women do about it?

[Al_Masetti]

Well, a marriage is supposed to be a partnership… the two become one flesh… and that means literally as well as figuratively. It means that certain inhibitions that served well during the single state need to be replaced with a mutual passion. It means that destructive attitudes perhaps carried over from less educated or “less Christian” generations in the pre-immigrant era need to be modified. It means that the husband is supposed to embrace male chastity for his wife and that his wife is supposed to respect and appreciate that devotion to her.

St. Paul had that famous epistle about “husbands: love your wives as Christ loved the Church”. Which means that because Christ created the model: a sacrificial death… so then also husbands are supposed to be poised at all times to surrender their lives if necessary. And many husbands do just that. They take nasty dirty and dangerous jobs in order to support their wives and families. And some have made the supreme sacrifice.

There are appropriate ways for wives to encourage husbands to embrace marital chastity. And because this is a “family show”, if I went into detail, this submission would probably be deleted. But there are places where some research might provide some useful ideas.

With respect to mothers and sons, if a son is treated like a little prince with everything handed to him, then he will grow up to expect to be able to do everything with no consequences. Kids need to be given increasing responsibilities and to contribute to their families of origin with work and with money. If they are trained from the beginning to be responsible, then they will continue to be responsible when they become adults.

 

[Kristina_P]

Black Jaque:

There are people out there who define rape as anytime the woman didn’t particularly feel like it. Her “no” is supposed to be final - even within a marriage, and she should never be made to feel like she has to do it. It’s part of the woman’s right to her own body, or so the thinking goes.

I think Paul had something to say about this thinking in 1 Corinthians. Neither the husband nor the wife should deprive the other. That said, I don’t think that it’s within the bounds of love and submission to force your spouse to be intimate. Real incidences of rape happen even within marriage. When a husband (or a wife) doesn’t respect his spouse enough to let them be a part of the decision whether or not to have sex, then he is simply using his wife for his own pleasure. That’s doesn’t fit with what God intended for the marriage bed.

 

[Kristina_P]

We must all be examples of what women are really worth. That means dressing, talking, and acting in a holy manner. Set an example by respecting your own purity and the purity of others. No double standards! And, we can’t just ignore it when a man doesn’t respect his own purity or the purity of someone else. For example, if even a male friend happens to talk crassly about a woman or about masturbation (it used to be that men wouldn’t talk like this in the “presence of a lady”), we should do our best, in love, to show him his error and how it hurts him and his relationships. And if it happens to be your son who lacks respect for God’s temple, it’s all the more reason to be courageous and stand up for the truth.