MERGED: Concentrating/Distractions at Mass

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MissRose73 said:
I admit I’ve had issues concentrating and paying attention too. I get to Mass at least 10 minutes early and read/pray from my missal. As a woman, I’ve noticed since I choose to cover my head, I seldom turn around or look around at others before and during Mass too.
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And…?
Are you concentrated inside ?
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
My confessor has said that too, but then he’s also addressed the issue from the pulpit as well for what parents with loud children should do, along with gossiping old women who think they’re whispering. 😃
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Unfortunately, people are so lonely that old women can only keep the news updated on mass … !!!
There are parents who simply do not control the kids, but these in no way should be kept out…
 
demetrios423 said:
Is rude to speak to someone about being distracting at mass? There are two women who insist on gossiping the entire mass. Today it made me really mad when they were gossiping while communion was being prepared.

On top of that, one of the women is always late and has to announce her presence with loudness as she arrives.

There is also a couple who is late weekly. the husband likes to get up and down through out mass and always has to ask people to stand for him to get by. Literally 2-3 times a mass.

I very much want these people to be at mass, but would like them to not be so rude or distracting.

Is it out of line for me to say something to them myself?
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You know that it is always like that, it is like a ritual, why dont you accept the ritual and forget about it?

You can start a war, but that distracts you much more.

Human race is like a zoo: each one with his own rituals.
 
jwinch2 said:
If your parish is big enough you might consider just sitting somewhere else. If that is not an option, I would probably say something. Please understand that I am pretty direct and not exactly politically correct so taking what I would do as a good way to handle things may not be the best choice you have ever made… 😃

As a lifelong sufferer of ADD, I feel for you on this one. I sit all the way at the front of the parish during Mass just so I can avoid distractions. It can be very difficult.
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I accept everything you say.
But were I to correct everything at mass, I would do nothing else: the skirts of that girl, the behavior of that teen, the homily of the priest, the compass of the choir…
With your character straightforward, you did best sitting in front and maybe some dark glasses will help (!!!:D). Kidding.
 
Richard320 said:
Fr. Groeschel suggests “Could you please keep it down? I’m trying to pray.” But that really only works at the before-and-after gossipfests.

If these people always sit in the same area, move. Once a month they have a children’s Mass and they sit in the first three rows and there is one bratty girl I would dearly love to scold. Or worse. We’ve learned not to just move back a couple rows, but to move back 5 or 6 so she is out of sight.

But not too far back. Once we sat about 3/4 of the way back for some reason. My word there was a lot of coming and going! I mentioned it to the pastor one day, told him it reminded me of being in an airport or a bus station, and he just sort of rolled his eyes and said, “You ought to see all the movement from where I sit!”
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I was born in Africa and in Africa all the masses are singing and dancing?
Why you anglos are so fascinated with silence? The silence in Africa has no meaning… At least from what i am told by my black friends.
Suppose that Jesus was in front of you like in Israel. Would you remain silent?
Just thought provoking…
 
InspiritCarol said:
As people age, both their hearing worsens and their inhibitions lower.

Could you, (keeping the above in mind), *lovingly *approach them and remark on something specific, like: Sisters, maybe you didn’t know your voices carry so well, but frankly I don’t care what so and so is wearing, especially when I’m trying to pray.

If you don’t feel comfortable or loving enough in doing this; get help from your priest or the liturgical director… and MOST IMPORTANT, pray for them to be convicted.

I like to think if I were the one being distracting, how would I like someone to tell me.

Try to put yourself in their shoes LOVINGLY; but please do help them to know if possible.

Blessings!
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I think you should propose to the priest a GOSSIP MEETING after the mass in the Parish Saloon… It would be a brilliant idea with plenty of people…
 
Tridentinum said:
Yes, tell them to be quiet. They shouldn’t be talking in church in the first place, in the presence of the Blessed sacrament. The first spiritual work of mercy is instructing the ignorant and the third is fraternal correction.
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And if they do not obey?
 
Allegra said:
Just look at them and go, “Shhhh.” Then smile and go back to praying.
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Tell you the most amazing thing I have seen.
In Lourdes, near the grotto, there are thousands of people praying. That generates a little noise. A few gossip. But generally, the atmosphere is quite serene and religious.
Nevertheless, the priests want to avoid too much noise.

What did they do? As there was no priest around and the ceremonies are not constant, the automatic system. When the noise goes up to a certain number of decibels, a sound comes from the loudspeakers all around the grotto: “ssshhhhhhhhhh”.

I tell you, it is a smooth and quite pleasant “shhhhh”. I was there are I was hearing several “sh” till I discovered that were for the noise.

In fact, people, after each “sh”, started to lower the whispering to half the volume … amazing … no miracle …
 
Allegra said:
Maybe he’s got “restless leg syndrome”?
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My rule of thumb: in every 50 persons, there is one who is crazy or lunatic.
So, they are children of God, and we have to put up with them !!!🙂
 
demetrios423 said:
Honestly I don’t know. It is just a constant distraction. I have noticed other people stare at him as well.

I feel bad for talking about him this way, so I’m going to stop.

Thank you all for the advice.
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My I put here a meditation tip?
Only I would like to get feedback on that. PLEASE.
Like: stupid tip or it was good, or it was fantastic.
I was trying to put it somewhere but you post used the word “stare” and it of this that I am going to talk.
I call it “visual hygiene” that I do not talk. I prefer “visual ecology”. It means, You look to what YOU WANT to look, you do not look to WHAT OTHERS want you to look. You are not “visual slave”, you are “visual free”.

So, I would suggest some I would say “staring points”
  • the crucifix
  • the face of the priest, the nose between his 2 eyes, not the mouth (lip reading);
  • the host
  • the chalice
  • after communion, if you want to put your eyes down, a point on the floor.
  • the face of your neighbor on the gesture of peace.
  • other place that is meaningful for you: the Holy Mary or other
No comes the “audio ecology”. the same. You are audio free and listen to what you want to listen not what others want you to listen like the deafening cries of the babies.
  • the voice of the priest
  • the hymns
  • whatever ambiance there is in your church
  • to the silence (inner)
Feedback needed and thanked.
Bitter criticism accepted.
 
PJM said:
Identify them and you’re concerns to you’re Pastor, explaining that you do not know how in CHARITY to handle the matter; could He PLEASE do so.

God Bless,
Pat
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DO NOT DO THAT.
Once I drove 25 km to go to a Sanctuary, with my eldest 3 year old. The sanctuary is almost 40 meters long. I was leaning in the back wall and the priest had a vociferous micro in his hand. My eldest started going to the mass since he was 1 month old.

He made some noises there that i could hardly hear and he was expelled from the mass. As we sat outside, a guardian of the Sanctuary came to comfort us. I asked the name of the priest so I could write just a quote from the Gospels, where Jesus says to the Apostles not to repeal the children for theirs is the kingdom of God.

The guardian confided: “My wife could not come to the mass for 4 years”.

Well, anger passed with time and now the nervous priest is with God, Peace to his Soul.
 
SeekNFind said:
At Mass a few weeks ago, these two women decided to start a conversation after the Eucharist. I noticed it but thought it would eventually cease. They kept talking right through the closing hymn! I couldn’t take it anymore so I turned around and politely said that mass wasn’t over yet. They stopped talking. I don’t think I was wrong and I didn’t embarrass them in front of everyone else. But I do think if you don’t correct people, they will continue with their bad behaviour.
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You good PR
 
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