MERGED: Must go on a retreat to be confirmed?

[jmcrae]

I never said it was random.

They have rehearsal to go over the script, sitting, standing, etc. The OP said he was in his first year of prep so it is unlikely that they would be doing the logistics anyway.

He most likely won’t go on a Retreat until the day before his Confirmation, unless they do one to get the kids used to what goes on at a Retreat.

There is nothing special about learning to pray with your classmates.

It’s not about “learning to pray” - this is the actual doing of it - standing with that person and praying actually for that person - it’s not a practice thing for future reference; it’s the real deal. If you aren’t present, you aren’t doing it, or even if you are, the person isn’t receiving the benefit, because they aren’t seeing your hands folded in prayer or hearing you do it for them. Remember, we are not a “me and Jesus” religion - we pray actually for each other, as well, in the presence of each other.

 

[Corki]

He most likely won’t go on a Retreat until the day before his Confirmation, unless they do one to get the kids used to what goes on at a Retreat.

It’s not about “learning to pray” - this is the actual doing of it - standing with that person and praying actually for that person - it’s not a practice thing for future reference; it’s the real deal. If you aren’t present, you aren’t doing it, or even if you are, the person isn’t receiving the benefit, because they aren’t seeing your hands folded in prayer or hearing you do it for them. Remember, we are not a “me and Jesus” religion - we pray actually for each other, as well, in the presence of each other.

Wow, I don’t know of any parish here that does the Confirmation retreat the day before the actual Sacrament. It is usually months before, often at the beginning of the school year with Confirmation being in the Spring.

I teach the first year of a two year Confirmation cycle. The students pray together (all grades) every week, offering up special intentions. We spend half of the year covering Prayer and spend a lot of time praying together, praying for each other and practicing different forms of prayer (vocal,meditative, Lectio Divina, etc.) If the students have not experienced praying together and for each other before the day before Confirmation, there is something really missing from their RE program.

 

[FAB]

I’d say that anybody seeking ordination would by necessity be far more mature, however, than a teenage confirmational candidate; and more accustomed to being outside his comfort zone.

ICXC NIKA

Not a reason not to required a retreat. We learn our prayers and practices when young and when children, going on retreat is an excellent practice to instill.

 

[FAB]

Everyone makes great point…BUT and its a big one is that I don’t have to spend a weeekend away somewhere I can just learn about God in church why cant we just learn about god in church We have to go on a retreat because we will open up wow it makes no sense I can open up anytime i want wether it be at home, church, or anywhere else church cofirmation should not even call for a retreat I think it is a waist of money paying the church $200 dollars to sign up itts always been like this the roman catholic church wanting money in my eyes confirmation should be free anyone who want to be catholic should have a free choice and insytead of using the money for a retreat that no one wants to go to do other things in church
so i will fight this no mater what it takes i do wnt to confirm but im am not going on that retreat i say no!!!

the problem is that you can’t just learn about God in church. There are also times in which we are more open to word and listening to God, A retreat is one of those times.
The fee for the retreat is not for the sacrament but for the cost of food and housing on the retreat, if finances is a problem all churches offer scholarships.
My advice is to do some discernment, you need to talk to your parish priest of deacon. I have heard your arguments before, often it come down to the young person not wanting “give up” the weekend because there is another event happening that they will miss. God MUST always come first in you life.
Remember the righteous and rich young man in the Gospel who met Jesus. He followed the law and went to the synagogue, he prayed and asked Jesus what must he do to achieve the Kingdom. Jesus replied, give all you have away to the poor and follow me.
Often to follow our Lord is not easy, the young ,man walk away and was not able to give up of himself to follow. What will your decision be?

 

[jeanne71350]

When I was 15 I was extremely against going on retreats. I was not about to go to go, I felt pretty much exactly like you are right now, that it was ridiculous for us to make us go, and in a way I don’t agree with forcing stuff on kids because that fosters bad attitudes and some kids are turned off. But honestly, coming from a fellow teen (I’m 18, made my Confirmation last year), my Confirmation retreats truly changed my life. Through Adorations, Masses, and relationships with friends I got through some of the toughest times in my life, made some of my best friends, and also heard God’s call to religious life. I wouldn’t have got that sitting in Church and Class. Retreats are about turning off all the distractions of life and just spending some quiet time with God and renewing your faith and also stepping out of your comfort zone to help you grow as a Christian! It is so great to be free from all of the distractions from school and life for a little while. Look, I’m not trying to preach to you. I understand where you are coming from, but honestly how will you know how you feel about something if you don’t give it a shot? If it’s about the money, then ask your parish for help, there are a lot of donations from people to help with things like this. Going on retreats is a very peaceful, relaxing, and very uplifting time. I really hope and pray that you will feel comfortable and give this a chance. And hey, you get out of the house for a couple of days too!

-Jeanne

 

[thequeen]

Hello people,
I am a 15 year old boy who is doing his first year of conformation and we have a retreat coming up that I do not want to go to because I am not comfortable and just really don’t want to go (plzz respect that) But, my youth minister said i have to do it in order to confirm it gets me mad to think just for not going to a retreat i cannot be with god i am a nice person go to church do my part to be a great citizen and i just want to find out a way to get ut of going to this retreat and still able to confirm because from my point of view a retreat shouldn’t be the decider if you confirm or not it should be if your one with god you believe in him and if you trust him that should be the reason to confirm not a RETREAT!!!
PLLLZZ help any person out their that has been in my shoes or anyone out their that thinks i have a point i would really appreciate that PLZZ help!

please go on the retreat you are probably not the only one who doesn’t want to go.even when you get out into the adult world you are going to have to do things that you don’t want to

 

[thequeen]

The bishop, not the DRE, not the catechist, not the pastor is the ordinary minister of confirmation (although he can delegate any priest) and he is the sole authority of what constitutes the age for confirmation, the timing, and the preparation in his diocese. As I suggest your best recourse is to inquire in the bishop’s office to see the rules that apply to your situation (Catholic youth, Catholic adult, baptized non-Catholic etc.). If the bishop says a retreat is required, then it is required. Personal preferance has absolutely NO weight in this. Each diocese has particular law, which applies general canon law to that diocese and has been approved by the local bishop. Find out what it is, then comply with it. Recall that it is the bishop who confirms your Christian initiation, which you accept with gratitude and humility from him, and in the perfect obedience that characterizes the Christian.

Right on puzzleannie what you have said is exactly right. Are you a director of religious ed I have read many of your posts on different issues and they make total sense and your faith seems to be really strong too by the way i live in texas also i live in garland which is about 30 minures from dallas i am originally from vincennes indiana though andam aconvert to the faith

 

[jmcrae]

Wow, I don’t know of any parish here that does the Confirmation retreat the day before the actual Sacrament. It is usually months before, often at the beginning of the school year with Confirmation being in the Spring.

I teach the first year of a two year Confirmation cycle. The students pray together (all grades) every week, offering up special intentions. We spend half of the year covering Prayer and spend a lot of time praying together, praying for each other and practicing different forms of prayer (vocal,meditative, Lectio Divina, etc.) If the students have not experienced praying together and for each other before the day before Confirmation, there is something really missing from their RE program.

And, again, it’s not “practicing” - this is the real deal. This is the moment of time when they are all about to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation to complete their Initiation into the Church, and they are supporting one another in prayer, together, being in the same place at the same time, and all undergoing the same trials and the same temptations.

It’s no longer about “learning how” - it’s the actual doing of it.

 

[jmcrae]

Wow, I don’t know of any parish here that does the Confirmation retreat the day before the actual Sacrament. It is usually months before, often at the beginning of the school year with Confirmation being in the Spring.

We have Catholic schools here where they learn their general religion program, so the Preparation for Confirmation is six 90-minute classes giving the Scripture readings and memory work that pertain specifically to the Sacrament of Confirmation, followed by a day retreat on a Saturday, with Confirmation either on the same evening or on the Sunday, the next day. The retreat allows the kids to take time away from the world and focus on what is about to happen to them.

 

[Lapey]

Everyone makes great point…BUT and its a big one is that I don’t have to spend a weeekend away somewhere I can just learn about God in church why cant we just learn about god in church We have to go on a retreat because we will open up wow it makes no sense I can open up anytime i want wether it be at home, church, or anywhere else church cofirmation should not even call for a retreat I think it is a waist of money paying the church $200 dollars to sign up itts always been like this the roman catholic church wanting money in my eyes confirmation should be free anyone who want to be catholic should have a free choice and insytead of using the money for a retreat that no one wants to go to do other things in church
so i will fight this no mater what it takes i do wnt to confirm but im am not going on that retreat i say no!!!

On second thought, I agree with YOU should not go on this retreat. You’re not ready to be an adult Catholic with a post like this, in fact it appears that you are about 6 rather than 15. This post is just sad.

I dont want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to and you can’t make me, but I still want the prize…:crying::crying::crying::crying:

I’ll put it this way, if money is the issue, private message me, I’ll raise the money to pay for your retreat.

 

[GEddie]

On second thought, I agree with YOU should not go on this retreat. You’re not ready to be an adult Catholic with a post like this, in fact it appears that you are about 6 rather than 15. This post is just sad.

I dont want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to and you can’t make me,** but I still want the prize…:**crying::crying::crying::crying:

I’ll put it this way, if money is the issue, private message me, I’ll raise the money to pay for your retreat.

Dear Deacon:

The only problem with your statement is that AIUI, a sacrament should not be thought of as a ‘prize’ for achieving something, it is a grace from God.

If he should think of confirmation as a prize for doing something that is to him a penance (as this retreat), what about those for whom the retreat is no sacrifice at all?

Then again, I am just an average sinner.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA.

 

[Corki]

We have Catholic schools here where they learn their general religion program, so the Preparation for Confirmation is six 90-minute classes giving the Scripture readings and memory work that pertain specifically to the Sacrament of Confirmation, followed by a day retreat on a Saturday, with Confirmation either on the same evening or on the Sunday, the next day. The retreat allows the kids to take time away from the world and focus on what is about to happen to them.

That’s not a bad way to go about it.

Here, Confirmation prep is part of the CCE program, even for Catholic school kids. Public school students must attend for two years; Catholic school students for one. They course of study follows the four sections of the Catechism, with lessons throughout targeted for the Sacrament of Confirmation.

As I said, I am not anti-retreat. I just don’t like it being treated as a mandatory “hoop” that students must jump through before they may receive Confirmation. I also have a personal beef with our diocese because the Confirmation retreats are given an exemption from the Safe Environment guidelines that must be followed for all other activities with minors. But that’s another story.

 

[Corki]

Dear Deacon:

The only problem with your statement is that AIUI, a sacrament should not be thought of as a ‘prize’ for achieving something, it is a grace from God.

If he should think of confirmation as a prize for doing something that is to him a penance (as this retreat), what about those for whom the retreat is no sacrifice at all?

Then again, I am just an average sinner.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA.

Adding to that is that Confirmation is not to be thought of as a “sign” that someone is “ready to be an adult Catholic”. It’s only coincidence that the age for Confirmation in many diocese is when students are on the cusp of adulthood. I was Confirmed in 4th grade and a nearby diocese confirms in 3rd grade (restored order).

 

[yellowbird]

I

My reason behind it is that many teens have private issues that sometimes, overnight stays would not be a good thing.

Imagine like in my situation… I wet the bed until I was 13, my father was 16, and one of my sons wet the bed until he was 18 yrs old. Obviously, this is a genetic thing that was resolved when we matured, but really? Are teenagers now forced to reveal such embarrassing situations which are not sins in order to be excused? Are teenagers expected to “suck it up” and should there be an accident, be teased by their peers until who knows when?
.

This is the same reason I’d never make my children go on an overnight retreat. If an exception couldn’t be made for them to attend retreat but come home at night then they wouldn’t get confirmed until they were adults. Thankfully our parish doesn’t do overnight retreats.

OP - Have you talked to your parents about not wanting to go? What did they say? They know you best. If your parents think you should go - be a good son/daughter and listen to them.

 

[Indyann]

On second thought, I agree with YOU should not go on this retreat. You’re not ready to be an adult Catholic with a post like this, in fact it appears that you are about 6 rather than 15. This post is just sad.

I dont want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to and you can’t make me, but I still want the prize…:crying::crying::crying::crying:

I’ll put it this way, if money is the issue, private message me, I’ll raise the money to pay for your retreat.

Because, the OP has given no reason other than “I don’t want to”, I must agree with you.

OP, if there is a good reason why you do not want to go, why won’t you tell us?

Otherwise, you sound very immature and like a “spoiled brat”.

 

[PerfectTiming]

Everyone makes great point…BUT and its a big one is that I don’t have to spend a weeekend away somewhere I can just learn about God in church why cant we just learn about god in church We have to go on a retreat because we will open up wow it makes no sense I can open up anytime i want wether it be at home, church, or anywhere else church cofirmation should not even call for a retreat I think it is a waist of money paying the church $200 dollars to sign up itts always been like this the roman catholic church wanting money in my eyes confirmation should be free anyone who want to be catholic should have a free choice and insytead of using the money for a retreat that no one wants to go to do other things in church
so i will fight this no mater what it takes i do wnt to confirm but im am not going on that retreat i say no!!!

A waste of money? Sweetie, the Church doesn’t just have a ton of money to throw a everything. Sometimes you have to help out. When my old parish needed refurbishment we had a special weekly collection for several years to fund the building cost. Every penny went straight to the parish, to improve our Church so it could serve our parish better. My point is, it’s not a waste if it’s going to help your faith.

You say it’s a weekend retreat. Going somewhere for a weekend costs money. If you went away for the weekend normally, you wouldn’t expect it to be free. So why should this be free?

Also, retreats exist for a reason. I’m assuming from your attitude you’ve never been on one. Anyone who has will tell you that it is completely different to just sitting in church or at home. It’s a completely different experience, it allows you to come away from your normal life and focus entirely on God. It is an important thing for you to experience and they ask you to do it for a reason. As far as I can see you’re refusing to go out of stubbornness and nothing more which is no good reason. Swallow your pride and go. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

 

[Lapey]

Dear Deacon:

The only problem with your statement is that AIUI, a sacrament should not be thought of as a ‘prize’ for achieving something, it is a grace from God.

If he should think of confirmation as a prize for doing something that is to him a penance (as this retreat), what about those for whom the retreat is no sacrifice at all?

Then again, I am just an average sinner.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA.

There’s no problem with my statement, a little harsh maybe, but no problem. The OP wants to get what he wants without going through the required process, he’s acting like a child not an adult. Refers to the sacrement in a manner that shows disrespect and misunderstanding, thats why I used the absurd term to describe it.

I thought the way I typed that line it would be obvious what was intended, I guess not, sorry.

 

[Lapey]

Adding to that is that Confirmation is not to be thought of as a “sign” that someone is “ready to be an adult Catholic”. It’s only coincidence that the age for Confirmation in many diocese is when students are on the cusp of adulthood. I was Confirmed in 4th grade and a nearby diocese confirms in 3rd grade (restored order).

Again, if you folks read into my comments that I do not know and understand exactly what confirmation is, either you give me too little credit, or yourself too much.

Correcting the deacon is not going to help this young man, fess up and go through the process that is required. So please stop wasteing time trying to correct the deacon who does not need correcting.

 

[surfinpure]

On second thought, I agree with YOU should not go on this retreat. You’re not ready to be an adult Catholic with a post like this, in fact it appears that you are about 6 rather than 15. This post is just sad.

I dont want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to and you can’t make me, but I still want the prize…:crying::crying::crying::crying:

I’ll put it this way, if money is the issue, private message me, I’ll raise the money to pay for your retreat.

I haven’t posted yet, but I’ve been following the thread, and I agree wholeheartedly. Where is the respect and gratitude for the great privilege of receiving the GIFT of a great sacrament in Christ’s Church? I’ve known 8-year-olds who were more appreciative than this young man seems to be. Therefore, I don’t say this because of his age, but because of his lousy attitude and immaturity of spirit: He’s not ready. IMHO, of course.

 

[DCNBILL]

Obedience is one of the virtues that God calls us to.

Here is a prayer for obedience. catholicdoors.com/prayers/english/p00521.htm

In humble obedience lessons can be learned and fear removed, it may not be the retreat that God is calling you to but the submission to the authority of the Church from which the Sacrament you seek is conferred. It may be this submission that will bring you closer to Him as a soldier for Christ.

I will keep you in my prayers.