Miffed at bikini suggestion

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Potato1 said:
Wow. Only good looking people can afford to be immodest?
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Whoa. I guess I didn’t make clear what I meant. Maybe my perception is off, but slender people, who are not voluptuous, can run around practically naked without being immodest because nothing jiggles. Think: gymnast.
Holy cow, If the discussion on how you don’t want her looking like a tart doesnt get her, telling a teenage girl she is too fat for that bikini is going to be VERY unhealthy!

I can see it now “sweetheart that bikini isvery nice, but dont you think your fat rolls are showing a little too much?”:eek:
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I know young people can be scarred for life and have their self esteem destroyed by a passing comment. I’m told it’s devastating. Nevertheless, looking in the mirror ought to tell you something. If the anorexics never see anything but a fat person, is it true also that the obese never see a fat person either? This is a complex issue. If your mirror is not giving you the message, then probably nothing will.

How about this: "Honey, let’s maximize your best features. Here’s a good suit (tankini or one-piece suit that doesn’t reveal cleavage, belly button, or butt-cheeks) that should cover the territory.
 
mercygate said:
Now, now, I just got whapped for suggesting the judicious use of a mirror.
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Well…I have been whapped many times before…and no one here knows me or where I live! 😃

I personally believe some people have magic mirrors, but hey… more power to them. 👍
 
there are lots of stylish non-bikini bathing suits. the tankini is really popular. so are babydolls and tap-pant or boxer styles. personally I always liked the racer back one piece for comfort. how does your daughter feel about skin cancer?
Ravyn
 
I like “lifeguard type” suits, although I like wearing sort shorts with them and would probably wear short shorts with a bikini or halter top.
 
mercygate said:
Whoa. I guess I didn’t make clear what I meant. Maybe my perception is off, but slender people, who are not voluptuous, can run around practically naked without being immodest because nothing jiggles. Think: gymnast.

I know young people can be scarred for life and have their self esteem destroyed by a passing comment. I’m told it’s devastating. Nevertheless, looking in the mirror ought to tell you something. If the anorexics never see anything but a fat person, is it true also that the obese never see a fat person either? This is a complex issue. If your mirror is not giving you the message, then probably nothing will.

How about this: "Honey, let’s maximize your best features. Here’s a good suit (tankini or one-piece suit that doesn’t reveal cleavage, belly button, or butt-cheeks) that should cover the territory.
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What if the girl is a knockout with a nice chest, in shape legs… one might argue that those are her best features. this could really backfire and it emphasises physical appearance not moral modesty and being a decent woman.
 
jmdsc said:
Just a thought…try telling her that if she wears bikini bottoms that are exactly the same length and shape as a man’s swim trunks - she can wear the top of her choice.😃

Maybe think she’ll rethink her position!😛
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Nah. My dd does this all the time. She loves long, board shorts with a bikkini top. She usually throws a t-shirt over herself when out of the water.

Kim
 
Potato1 said:
What if the girl is a knockout with a nice chest, in shape legs… one might argue that those are her best features. this could really backfire and it emphasises physical appearance not moral modesty and being a decent woman.
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The scenario was regarding a girl without such virtues.

Shapely legs hardly come under the heading of lust-provokers.

Nice chest: Mom – no: DAD – needs to explain to her what this can do to a guy. I say: no cleavage, no unstructured tops.

I did NOT mean to imply that modesty alone was the issue (like faith alone, Scripture alone) but to suggest that where modesty won’t win the argument, “attractiveness” might.

If you have a stunning daughter (I did!) who thinks of her body as bait, then the problem is deeper than swim wear and the bathing suit shop might not be the best place to work it out.

OTOH, some of the “modesty” advocates really take this thing to extremes with knee-length bathing dresses that would have been the cat’s meow in 1922. Modesty can be extremely relative depending on your locale and social stratum. I mean, they walk around naked on the beach in France and think our obsession with modesty is a neurotic obsession.

Sometimes the more you reveal, the less enticing it is. I know a young gynecologist who says, “You have no idea how much allure the clothed female form holds for me.”
 
Originally Posted by jrabs
ewwwwwww - is that really anyone’s idea of a swim suit?
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I have a TYR suit which is cut like a Speedo. I admit i have not worn it this year because i don’t go to pools anymore. And, i just came back to the Church on April 21, 2007. I used to think i looked fine in it, but it is a bit like a brief. I don’t like swimming in shorts. I am slim, but i think i have gotten a bit old for it. I have not gone swimming this year and don’t plan on it. They are popular outside the USA.

Joseph Michael

TYR suit - cut like the Speedo . . Mine is a solid blue.
 
As a man, I can no longer go to the beach. The fashion industry, promoting models and actresses in less and less, all of this was a planned situation. I’m not interested in hearing about other countries. A young woman in a bikini is walking around in her underwear, or less.

This is not modesty. And it doesn’t help when so-called celebrities pose on magazine covers in immodest clothing that barely covers much.

This needs to change. It’s up to individual parents to realize this. Starting with the first appearance of the bikini in the 1960s (daring! shocking!), clothing designers have been encouraging girls and teens in particular to show more and more.

God wants you to be modest. Listen to the Word of God, don’t follow the crowd in doing evil.

God bless,
Ed
 
mercygate said:
Sometimes the more you reveal, the less enticing it is. I know a young gynecologist who says, “You have no idea how much allure the clothed female form holds for me.”
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LOl must be why the porn industry is going bankrupt.:rolleyes:
I have NEVER envied gynecologists. imagine the things you would see (lets not even talk about the other senses here:eek: )

Anyway my point is that the "show your best features approach is not that great because it has so many obvious flaws and I prefer honesty, truth and guidence. Now if you don’t have that type of relationship which some people don’t (especially with teens) Then maybe the dressing room IS the place to have these fights. OTOH I am the same guy who will see a woman in a grocery store who has her undies showing and remark on thier color to the woman. “The pink of your thong clashes with those pants and shirt” has been known to come flying out of my mouth.😃
 
Potato1 said:
LOl must be why the porn industry is going bankrupt.:rolleyes:
I have NEVER envied gynecologists. imagine the things you would see (lets not even talk about the other senses here:eek: )

Anyway my point is that the "show your best features approach is not that great because it has so many obvious flaws and I prefer honesty, truth and guidence. Now if you don’t have that type of relationship which some people don’t (especially with teens) Then maybe the dressing room IS the place to have these fights. OTOH I am the same guy who will see a woman in a grocery store who has her undies showing and remark on thier color to the woman. “The pink of your thong clashes with those pants and shirt” has been known to come flying out of my mouth.😃
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Heh, heh, heh. Then YOU should definitely be the one fighting these battles with the girls. I’m with ya on the exposed underwear thing. WHEN did women get the idea that a bra strap is something that should EVER be seen. Oh! It was when the no-bra tank top was invented. Gag.
 
There are a couple of things I’m not buying into.

The first is that women have a lower sex drive. I think that the male sex drive is more…reactionary, at times. However, Anthropology would suggest that females have a higher potential for sexual pleasure.

The second is that only “sexy” girls should be modest. Remember, the problem with being immodest is not just that it may incite sexual feelings in men - but also that females don’t respect themselves, enough, which is not just a problem for “sexy” girls.

Personally, I’m going with Edwest here. I cannot go to the beach. If any man here can go see girls running around virtually naked and not feel any lust or impure thought - then you must be superman.

Imagine what St. Pio would say!

JD
 
rwoehmke said:
Over thirty years ago my seven year old daughter wanted a teeney weeny yellow polka dot bikini. My wife said no, but I said let her get it and wear it in the pool for swimming lessons. It didn’t take but a few lessons before she was complaining about how hard it was keeping it in place. She hasn’t wanted or wore a bikini since and she is now over forty. If todays bikinis are like yesterdays they are more for ogling and less for swimming. Ask her does she want the boys staring and imagining whats under the little bit that covers her or does she want something that is good in the water.
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This story is making me laugh to remember my own swim lessons when I was 6 (oh my goodness that is over thirty years ago too, yikes!!) They had all of the kids, girls and boys wear just swim trunks. The girls would wear bikini bottoms with no top. Then we would earn various colored speedo style swim bottoms that would indicate our swimming abilities. So, boys and girls were wearing just speedo bottoms. No one thought anything of it. It was all a matter of practicality.

And speaking of practicality…I am going to Malibu later this morning. I can tell you as a woman that when you are in the waves, a sturdy two piece bathing suit is the most practical thing you can wear. I’m not advocating itsy bitsy bikinis or anything like that. Just saying that I have always found one pieces to be a huge inconvenience and tankinis are a pain in the waves too because with all of the motion of the water, they always end up rolling up. That’s why when you go to a beach like Zuma, where there are real waves, 99 percent of the women there are going to be in bikinis and I would say that very few of them actually look like they are flaunting their bodies or being immodest. They are just out enjoying the sun and the waves.
 
Johndigger said:
The second is that only “sexy” girls should be modest. Remember, the problem with being immodest is not just that it may incite sexual feelings in men - but also that females don’t respect themselves, enough, which is not just a problem for “sexy” girls.
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Agreeing completely here! We are all called to preserve our modesty and dignity–men and women, buff or not.
 
dulcissima said:
This story is making me laugh to remember my own swim lessons when I was 6 (oh my goodness that is over thirty years ago too, yikes!!) They had all of the kids, girls and boys wear just swim trunks. The girls would wear bikini bottoms with no top. Then we would earn various colored speedo style swim bottoms that would indicate our swimming abilities. So, boys and girls were wearing just speedo bottoms. No one thought anything of it. It was all a matter of practicality.

And speaking of practicality…I am going to Malibu later this morning. I can tell you as a woman that when you are in the waves, a sturdy two piece bathing suit is the most practical thing you can wear. I’m not advocating itsy bitsy bikinis or anything like that. Just saying that I have always found one pieces to be a huge inconvenience and tankinis are a pain in the waves too because with all of the motion of the water, they always end up rolling up. That’s why when you go to a beach like Zuma, where there are real waves, 99 percent of the women there are going to be in bikinis and I would say that very few of them actually look like they are flaunting their bodies or being immodest. They are just out enjoying the sun and the waves.
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Aaaaahhhhh! My DD moved from NY to LA to make movies, and when we visited her, she took us to El Matador! O m’gosh! IS it gorgeous! I find it hard to believe that bikini stays on better than a well-built one piece – you know: a halter or on that doesn’t scoop all the way down the back. Go figure.

Anyway, the Pacific is SO COLD! No wonder people spend so much time on the sand perfecting that Cali tan!
 
Johndigger said:
Imagine what St. Pio would say!
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actually he did address this issue in a pamphlet that i have. i’m paraphrasing of course but he didn’t say “don’t go to the beach” so much as “learn to look without seeing”.
 
tomarin said:
actually he did address this issue in a pamphlet that i have. i’m paraphrasing of course but he didn’t say “don’t go to the beach” so much as “learn to look without seeing”.
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From what I understand, the Church ‘banned’ bikinis in certain countries, like Brazil. Google it.

I’m not about having to have rules to tell adults what they can and can not wear…I just am very perplexed on why some women want to dress and act the way they do. It just truly perturbs me why they feel the need to ‘show’ it. I work with 20 women and am the only guy that is mainly in the office…it is some kind of fashion show here…they wear stuff like a single girl might wear to go out to a club at night…and they complement each other as looking ‘cute’. Today, ‘cute’ means you look like a ho, and will probably have guys salivating over you today.

Upon much thought, I think women want attention. That’s the motivator. I think it’s some kind of built in thing, like men are the violent, hunter types and women are the nurtuers…
 
On the subject of men’s vs. women’s sexuality…I had to sort of educate my girlfriend that guys really are attracted by a females’ chest. I assumed, and honestly still assume, that most girls understand this, but my girlfriend and one or two other good Catholic females I’ve met really don’t understand the extent to which it really is a big deal.
They feel that it’s just some fatty tissue and a pair of…well we know what’s there, but they’ve had them for years and feel it’s rather hum drum.
They somehow felt that guys think girls chest are attractive like guys find girl's calves are attractive, to which I simply respond, "how many magazines at the grocery have an air brushed view of women's calves splached on the cover?"
 
Why does it matter what she’s wearing when there are no boys around?

That’s right: just don’t allow her to go swimming when boys are around.

It really is that simple.
 
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