Mom In Adulterous Relationship

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Gorgias said:
Right. But, we don’t know the ages of the children. Moreover, learning these lessons is extremely difficult to process when the person is a close friend or family member. The ability to deal with “she’s my grandma” and simultaneously “she’s doing the wrong thing” isn’t something that even a teen can handle well, in general, without reaching the wrong conclusion.
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I guess I don’t see the need for calling out grandma as “doing the wrong thing”. Rather, I think the conversation should be about what "“WE” believe and what “OUR” values are and how that guides us in the choices “WE” make. Evaluation of grandma’s choices isn’t really necessary, and should be discouraged. It is why this scenario can be such a powerful teaching and learning opportunity. I do agree with you that all of this should be done in an age-appropriate manner.
 
QwertyGirl said:
I guess I don’t see the need for calling out grandma as “doing the wrong thing”.
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As Christians, we’re called to “admonish the sinner”. If we feel the actions are sinful, then in a very real way, we’re called to bring back our fellow Christian to moral behavior.
Rather, I think the conversation should be about what "“WE” believe and what “OUR” values are and how that guides us in the choices “WE” make.
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And, in the context of the OP, it comes down to more than what “WE” think – it comes down to what he wants to teach his kids is proper behavior. Nothing will be more confusing to them than hearing one standard from his parents, and then witnessing the opposite standard in how they approach grandma’s behavior.
 
It is the sin that is tearing at the family.

Do not blame God’s church for a consequence of sin.
 
Sorry OP, but where do you draw the line? If you don’t go to mom’s because she has a live-in boyfriend, do you not go to mom’s if she tells a lie, doesn’t attend Mass. I don’t see the consistency in your reasoning. Your kids need their grandma, you need your mother. I think mom is well aware of the Church teachings and knows you are, too. Enjoy the tradition of family dinner at your mom’s. One day, you won’t be able to.
 
Catholic_Guy1 said:
We usually get together for Sunday dinners at my Moms but I’m starting to feel like I should avoid her house until the adultry stops. My Mom is a fallen away Catholic and attends Church occasionally.

Any advice is appreciated. God Bless.
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I know it is hard. I miss birthday celebrations of my grandchildren because my son is living with his girlfriend. I will not go there and pretend that everything is okay. I still do things with him, and his girlfriend but it isn’t at their house.

I think of it using the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” If you were in the same situation as your mother, would you want your daughter to expose your grandchildren to the powerful influence of a grandparent giving them the impression that it is okay to live in a sinful situation? Would you want your daughter to pretend that everything was okay with your living situation by acting exactly the same as if you were in a true marriage? I would expect my daughter to never come to my house again if I was in that situation. I would want her to keep her children far from it.

Your family and your mother’s friend are in my prayers. God bless.
 
Right. It also means “men only”, right? C’mon… just admit it when your eisegesis is getting called out for its absurdity. :roll_eyes:

RIght. And we honor our parents when we ignore mortally sinful behavior. We show our affection by not leading them away from the loss of eternal life. And we show our gratitude for the way they raised us by not asking them to put their money where their mouths are.

Keep trying man… you’re really doing an impressive job of twisting the Gospel of Jesus into the gospel of western culture…

Yep. 'Cause “shunning her” was clearly what I recommended, even though I wrote exactly the opposite. :roll_eyes:

On the other hand, shunning your take on the Gospel would be something I’d recommend. 👍
 
People who live together seem to have this need of asserting their relationship when others are around (much like the homosexual relations); there’s some “need” to have others experience it “in your face.”

Further, some one or other mentioned the sleeping over thing… regardless of how young children are they know that there’s something going on with mom and dad and that same knowledge will be experienced with other live-in conditions.

You want to pretend that children are devoid of knowledge till they are one and twenty, that’s on you!

Maran atha!

Angel
 
Dlee said:
I think mom is well aware of the Church teachings and knows you are, too.
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So as long as we know and are consenting adults… teach the children it’s none of your business?

Maran atha!

Angel
 
We do what we can. If they still choose to sin, that’s on them. If we give them one bedroom, we enabling their sin.
 
Annie said:
We do what we can. If they still choose to sin, that’s on them. If we give them one bedroom, we enabling their sin.
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But why bring them into the household to sleep over?

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, my financial situation is harsh; if I were your relative and I made my living by robbing people, and you knew about it, would you bring your children into my home or invite me to sleep over at your place? Would you not exercise some control by not having sleepovers and limiting the interaction with your children?

Maran atha!

Angel
 
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In what way does that show only non-believers would be held accountable for sin?

Not to mention the fact that it sounds like the OP would explain in other conversations that we (believers) are more accountable for our sins.

I was just offering an explanation of why there are some people we only pray for, not hang around with. We should not try to evangelize people we are not equipped to evangelize, and children lack the resources to evangelize people in disreputable bars.
 
On the off-hand chance that that happens and no one can afford a hotel.
 
I don’t know every single person in the world; but I can form conclusions from what I experienced and have been told of other people’s experiences.

Yes, because you refuse to see that there’s a line being crossed and you want it to not be seen as crossed.

Grandma wants to do her life as she will; good for her. But what is good for the goose is not good for the goose’s offspring.

Teaching children by rationalizing things is only good when they can reason. Children learn from visual and hearing experiences–have you not ever caught a child eavesdropping on “adult” conversations? Why expose children to such possibilities when the visits can be limited by time and place?

Maran atha!

Angel
 
And you’re not the first armchair theologian I’ve met who thinks he’s being pastoral by shrugging at sin. 😉

What is not “normal” about a relationship with Grandma if it doesn’t include visiting her house, where it will be patently obvious to everyone that her boyfriend is a live-in?

You keep claiming “shunning”. Do you even know what that word means? Maybe I should try explaining my point in Greek… :roll_eyes:

Right. Far better they hear Grandma getting in on in the next room with her boyfriend. Great idea. 👍
 
Gorgias said:
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will
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You left out two VERY IMPORTANT words.

Matthew 18:15 If your brother* sins [against you], go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.

Also, read on down to the parable of the unforgiving steward.

My parent having extramarital sex is not a sin against me. If my husband had extramarital sex, that could be considered a sin against me. If someone stole my car, they have sinned against me.
 
TheLittleLady said:
You left out two VERY IMPORTANT words.

Matthew 18:15 If your brother* sins [against you], go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.
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If you’re going to quote a text with an asterisk, you would do well to read the footnote that the asterisk references. Let me quote it for you:
The bracketed words, against you, are widely attested but they are not in the important codices Sinaiticus and Vaticanus or in some other textual witnesses. Their omission broadens the type of sin in question.
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Catholic_Guy1 said:
.My Mom recently had her boyfriend move in with her and it seems they are active together. I’m starting to feel like I should avoid her house until the adultry stops.
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Reading is fundamental, Sherlock. The OP asserts that he believes it’s adultery. If you want to ignore that, it’s your business. Me? I’d recommend you read a bit more carefully. 😉
TheLittleLady said:
Again, have you bothered to read the rest of the chapter?
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Of course. But it sure seems you haven’t read the part you want to quote to me. 😉

In any case, let’s go where you want to go – that the only sin we should be concerned with is the one against us personally. So, let’s look at the unforgiving steward: did the master punish his servant because he had sinned against the master? Nope. He does it because his servant had sinned against another person. And, by his action, he attempts to ensure that the steward act morally toward the other, not toward him himself.

So, yeah… oops! Before you ask whether I’ve read it, you might try reading it yourself. 😉
 
Guess I missed the commandment to “go and judge other Christians.”

And, yes, I know the footnote well, thing is those words have NOT been removed or redacted from official Catholic translations for a reason.

Kinda like the Our Father, we pray the doxology.
 
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