Mom In Adulterous Relationship

[Annie]

I think you are read into my words something that I did not intend to put there. When we explain things to children, we have to keep it on their level.

This was also in the context of an apparently thoughtful Catholic parent, whom I assumed would know and discuss other aspects of sin with her children.

 

[Gorgias]

Guess I missed the commandment to “go and judge other Christians.”

I’m not judging. I’m not making a claim about her eternal destiny.

Guess you missed the verses about admonishing sinners.

thing is those words have NOT been removed or redacted from official Catholic translations for a reason.

The thing is, the brackets and the careful footnote have not been removed from the NAB for a reason, too…

 

[SeriousQuestion]

Sins are different in gravity. Also that’s a straw man of what the OP said.

 

[SeriousQuestion]

You are technically judging him.

 

[QwertyGirl]

Let’s also not forget that it is possible her man-friend is impotent. For that matter, there could be many other reasons they aren’t having sexual relations. I think OP is inserting himself far to deep into this situation.Again, what a wonderful learning opportunity to teach kids that, as practicing Cathlics, you don’t believe in pre-marital sex. Also you don’t believe (or shouldn’t believe) in assuming the worst about people. And finally, you stay out of the most intimate private affairs of other people because it isn’t your place to assume anything. I think that is the lesson which should be taught here.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Judging words, not the person. Big difference!!

 

[SeriousQuestion]

Judging actions, not the person. Big difference!!

 

[TheLittleLady]

I wonder then if the OP has come to his mother with other members of his parish to confront her about the sin or if he has already called her up before the Parish?

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

Hmmm. I think you’re about 10 times more judgmental than the OP ever seemed to be.

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

There is likely no real reason to discuss grandma’s sex life with the kids.

By the time they are old enough to figure it out, they will also be old enough to see how you have treated your mom over the years. If you have been aloof and shunny, talking about your mom as an adulterer, the kids will figure out that should they ever sin, you will shun them. On the other hand, if they have seen you love your mom and treat her and her partner with dignity, your kids will know they have a dad who, like the father of the Prodigal Son, will run out to meet them should they wander off into sin someday.

All comes down to what you want to teach your kids.

Oh I missed the part where, like the Prodigal Son, the mom came home and said “treat me like one of your servants - - I realize the error of my ways”.

 

[Catholicwife32]

That sounds very reasonable and just… explain how it meshes with this:
17If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. (St. James 4)

The context of this line is about the sin of presumption. The sin of presumption is about looking for loopholes in the moral law to figure out a way to get around the demands, and then boasting that you’ve figured out the hole and can dupe God into letting you into Heaven. It’s what people would try to do when they would delay their baptisms till they were on their deathbeds.

Inwardly these people are boasting about something they know they ought not to do. They know it’s sinful and indeed it is.

I’m not sure how this passage pertains to anything the OP is talking about. Could you explain to me how you think it’s related?

18 All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6)

St. Paul is addressing people who do not think sexual sins are sinful because our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and what we do with the body matters. What his mother is doing is sinful. Nothing I have said had denied the sinfulness of it.

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6)

“The opening injunction to separate from unbelievers is reinforced by five rhetorical questions to make the point that Christianity is not compatible with paganism.”

We’re not dealing with paganism. We’re not asking grandma to share her spiritual opinions with our children. We’re respecting our duty to honor our father and mother and to love our neighbor as ourself.

22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. (1 Thessalonians 5)

Some translations say abstain from all evil. The point is, don’t sin. If he ostrocizes his mother like this, he is sinning.

 

[BlueMantle]

September 24, 2003

The Definition of Scandal​

Fr. Augustine Tran

(excerpted from larger article. See link at bottom for complete article)

If one were to look for the sin of scandal in the Catechism, one would find it under the fifth commandment. (And for our non-Catholic or non-Christian readers, I am sure with the recent attention on the ten commandment case in Alabama, we remember that the fifth commandment is “Thou shalt not kill.”) People are often surprised to hear that scandal is a sin against the fifth commandment, but that’s precisely what we’re doing when we scandalize someone. We’re killing his soul. When we think about it, this is far more damaging than killing someone’s body; because death of the soul means eternal damnation, death of the body does not.

Now, technically, when we scandalize someone, we’re not killing his soul, we’re tempting him into doing something that will kill his soul. We’re tempting him into committing a mortal sin. Remember that, by definition, no one can force us to commit a mortal sin; it must be done freely, so only we can kill our own soul, no one else can do that. However, what others can do, and what we can do to others, is to lead someone into temptation. By leading someone into temptation, we’re assisting in that person’s spiritual suicide, hence, we’re sinning against the fifth commandment.

There are nine ways of assisting in another’s sin: 1) by counsel; 2) by command; 3) by consent; 4) by provocation; 5) by praise or flattery; 6) by concealment; 7) by partaking; 8) by silence; and 9) by defense of the ill done. Each one of these is “an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil” (CCC 2284), which is how the Catechism defines the sin of scandal. When we speak of presidents, priests, or politicians behaving scandalously, what we mean is that they are leading others to do evil, not that they’re doing something shocking, but that by their example, they lead others to behave in the same way.

The Definition of Scandal

A word that very often pops up in our culture today is the word “scandal”. We hear it in reference to presidents, priests, and politicians. We talk of scandalous behavior, scandalous jokes, and even the scandal of the cross. Yet, it seems that this word has either lost its meaning or that people...

catholicexchange.com

 

[Catholicwife32]

The sin is believing that there are shades of gray that God allows so that we can sin and teach that sin is just part of learning not to sin.

“The law entered in so that transgression might increase but, where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more,” Romans 5:20

“all have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

“O felix culpa quae talem et tantum meruit habere redemptorem”
“O happy fault that earned for us so great, so glorious a Redeemer.” ← Felix culpa from the Easter Vigil Mass referring to the fall of man and original sin.

“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

 

[PennyinCanada]

When my husband was a kid, grandpa lived with them. They went to visit grandma who lived in the same city and there was a guy there. They just called him by his first name, and they all ate dinner. The kids were CLUELESS. They were visiting grandma and having dinner. Grandpa didn’t live there. Don’t deprive your kids of their grandma and Sunday dinners. They will look back on it with fond memories.

One day when they are old enough, give them the beautiful teaching of the church and leave grandma out of it.

I grew up not knowing my grandma. I found out in my late teen years that she was indeed alive and in the same city. My dad stopped talking to her and I never saw her, never heard from her. Never saw her at the holidays. When I found out she was alive and in the same city, now that scandalized me, and I wasn’t even a Christian. (I came into the church in my 20’s.) Is that the model you want to give to your kids?

Love your mother and model to your kids how to love their mothers. Tell her how beautiful she is, how wonderful she is to have you and family come to her home for dinner. Make her feel appreciated and loved. We all need more of that. Mother Teresa of Calcutta loved people who were far from God and I suspect many of them knew the mercy of God through her kindness. Do the same. You may find that in her last year of her life, you’ll be holding her hand while she is in a bed, and she’ll ask for a priest to do a life confession. God knows the whole of it. Don’t get stuck on one tiny little piece of it. Be a part of the Bigger Picture.

God bless you and guide you.

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

No reason the son can’t invite her to dinner and have her know her grandchildren at his house. Or at the zoo, parks, etc.

 

[SeriousQuestion]

I only saw my grandma maybe four times.

 

[JimG]

Kids can pick up on things pretty easily. I hope this never happens but I can envision a child someday moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and when parents object, saying something like, “Oh really, it’s no big deal. Even Grandma did it.”

 

[Cruciferi]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
I like the way you think

 

[Norseman82]

Are we talking about the same Christ that said it would be better for someone to drown in the sea with a millstone around his (/her) neck than to scandalize one of the little children?

 

[Norseman82]

My Dad left my Mom after 33 years of marriage and 4 kids about 8 years ago. It has been devastating to our family.

I would only add this: are you as tough on your father for walking out on your mother (please forgive me if I missed this if it was mentioned)? Unless your father suffered some form of abuse from your mother, walking out on her is as bad, if not worse, and was a contributing factor to this situation. That also is a lesson your kids should learn.