More and more people want Catholic weddings in places other than church

[Sarabande]

Maybe because a lot of parishes have really ugly churches?

The sad thing is that there were brides on the boards who expressed that the only reason that they wanted to get married in a church was because of how “pretty” it was - not because of the Sacrament. Some of them didn’t even attend mass or service any more. They just wanted the ambiance. That’s a difference between wanting everything to be spiritually inspiring for all the senses so that you can focus better on the Sacrament and the mass than just wanting it to be a pretty backdrop for photos and such.

 

[Sarabande]

I just found this site for a “travelling priest”:

weddingpriestnohassle.com/

 

[DJgang]

So the problems is…

1. These women just do not know the Catholic Faith

that’s it.

I thought that’s what the reception was all about…the reception can be personal, bring your dog out then…play your song then…have your reception on the beach then…

UGH!

My wedding was outside, in my front yard. My how I wish sometimes that I had been raised Catholic and had the opportunity to have a Catholic Wedding Mass…these women just don’t understand how fortunate they are to be raised in the Faith…yet…

Oh, well, really nothing to add to the discussion, just ranting…

 

[masondoggy]

We to were watching a lot of “hyped” weddings on TV and could not believe the amount of people in this world wrapped up in the “wedding” rather than the “marriage”

One that is making a joke of things is “Bridezilla’s” on WE channel.

That show is definitely shocking. I end up glued to that show several times a week. I am left speechless at some of those women and wonder how they end up with a husband at the end of the show, or bridesmaids even. They ALL treat their bridesmaids horribly.

It’s so sad that people have become so self-centered and selfish.

I also wonder how long those “marriages” last.

 

[DJgang]

Thank you very much. I will never forget the day. Watch clip #2 to hearour great choir, which my wife and I are a part of, the Kyrie and Gloria by Gounod. Gives me goose bumps.

I am watching your wedding now… I can’t seem to get away from it to get myself to work (I work at home hahaha)

Beautiful!

 

[ljprevo]

Thanks Dana, sorry to interrupt your day,

I don’t have the whole mass on the clips online, it was hard to get it all on there having 10 min gap on youtube.

I also want to point out, already been brought to me by mindless people, about how we “have children” already. My son & daughter I adopted through foster care. My wife will be adopting them as well after we wait the 6 month period through the court.

You will notice them come up for communion.

I am so glad I hired a professional videographer!

 

[DJgang]

Thanks Dana, sorry to interrupt your day,

I don’t have the whole mass on the clips online, it was hard to get it all on there having 10 min gap on youtube.

I also want to point out, already been brought to me by mindless people, about how we “have children” already. My son & daughter I adopted through foster care. My wife will be adopting them as well after we wait the 6 month period through the court.

You will notice them come up for communion.

I am so glad I hired a professional videographer!

I did think, they have children…but figured, hey, none of my business! You can see such love in your eyes, as well as Sonya’s. I did see them get blessed at Communion, that was so precious! Y’all dancing with them…aawww…just too sweet!

I am curious … did you say a prayer over at the Our Lady of Guatelupe’s chapel? At first I thought, maybe you are asking the Blessed Mother to bless you with more children…am I right?

Great wedding, great everything…and yes, you did interupt my morning of work, but hey, your video put a smile on my face and made me want to break out my wedding pictures!

 

[ljprevo]

Don’t think I was calling you mindless. Other places I posted this It was brought up, with the poster being embarrassed. Sorry to take this thread off topic a lil bit, however I am speaking about a wedding that WAS in a church, was proper and how wonderful it was.

We presented the Blessed Mother with a bouquet and asked of her to bless our marriage and to look over us as we know she already has. We then said a hail mary for her.

My kids have been through ALOT in their young lives, from abuse to being removed by the state from their bio mom (no relation to me). This wedding was a big thing for them as well. They finally have a mother that loves them and treats them the way a mother should.

God brough us the best mother and wife we could ever ask for. If you see the toast at the reception we will here my wife’s sister explain a little.

You will notice our 1st dance was “God Bless the Broken Road” could not have been more fitting for the 4 of us.

Back on topic, a beach wedding, a “In the woods” wedding, on top of a tall building, does not hold a stick compared to a church wedding, esp when that wedding is VERY spritiual, esp with the NO Latin mass we had. I just wanted to share it with everyone.

 

[Sarabande]

Back on topic, a beach wedding, a “In the woods” wedding, on top of a tall building, does not hold a stick compared to a church wedding, esp when that wedding is VERY spritiual, esp with the NO Latin mass we had. I just wanted to share it with everyone.

I fully agree. I would also guess that many of your guests (Catholic and non-Catholic) experienced that spiritual connection during your ceremony and mass. Thank you for sharing your special day with us.

How did you get your wedding on the net? I’ve tried and failed.

 

[Sarabande]

As a matter of fact, I am a deacon and my spouse and I do marriage prep for our diocese. They assume that because I am a deacon, I am available to do services at their request, any time, any place.

I’m wondering… have you seen more couples ask you to marry them instead of the priest? Do you think it is because they believe that you can perform marriages outside of the church? How have you handled those kinds of requests? Thanks!

 

[pumpkinbeast]

I’m starting to think that if I go for a wedding in a Catholic church with the full Mass and nothing really extra except the fancy clothes and flowers, I’ll have a pretty unique wedding.

 

[newf]

I agree that a lot of the people wanting to be married outside the church have no clue about the sacrament of marriage.

Having said that, I think the Catholic church makes a big mistake by making the wedding masses at inconvenient times on a Saturday afternoon. As I said earlier, our church will not allow a wedding after 1:30pm. And as someone said, we could move the 6pm reception to be earlier. But the thing is, most receptions today (that I attend) take place in the evening. And to have the gap of time between the mass and the reception means most people skip the mass and just go to the reception. This is really a missed opportunity to have the ‘unchurched’ come to mass. I think the church needs to be more accomodating.

 

[pumpkinbeast]

I agree that a lot of the people wanting to be married outside the church have no clue about the sacrament of marriage.

Having said that, I think the Catholic church makes a big mistake by making the wedding masses at inconvenient times on a Saturday afternoon. As I said earlier, our church will not allow a wedding after 1:30pm. And as someone said, we could move the 6pm reception to be earlier. But the thing is, most receptions today (that I attend) take place in the evening. And to have the gap of time between the mass and the reception means most people skip the mass and just go to the reception. This is really a missed opportunity to have the ‘unchurched’ come to mass. I think the church needs to be more accomodating.

I believe this rule is in place in many parishes because most priests say 2 or 3 or even 4 Masses on the weekend, a few Saturday evening, and a few Sunday morning. I think it’s so that the priest doesn’t have to do that many Masses in a row. Plus, because of those Saturday Masses (which are very accommodating, of the Church, I think) a Saturday evening wedding might interfere with those Masses. I know at our parish, you couldn’t have a 5pm wedding with a reception at 6, because the Sat. evening Mass is at 4:30.

 

[newf]

I believe this rule is in place in many parishes because most priests say 2 or 3 or even 4 Masses on the weekend, a few Saturday evening, and a few Sunday morning. I think it’s so that the priest doesn’t have to do that many Masses in a row. Plus, because of those Saturday Masses (which are very accommodating, of the Church, I think) a Saturday evening wedding might interfere with those Masses. I know at our parish, you couldn’t have a 5pm wedding with a reception at 6, because the Sat. evening Mass is at 4:30.

I understand what you are saying, but I really don’t see why the Saturday mass can’t be at 4pm and have wedding masses available at 5:30. Or vice versa.

I’m just saying I think the church underestimates the value of offering a wedding mass at a time when most people will attend. It’s a good outreach to those who don’t normally attend church but will attend a wedding.

 

[ljprevo]

I agree that a lot of the people wanting to be married outside the church have no clue about the sacrament of marriage.

Having said that, I think the Catholic church makes a big mistake by making the wedding masses at inconvenient times on a Saturday afternoon. As I said earlier, our church will not allow a wedding after 1:30pm. And as someone said, we could move the 6pm reception to be earlier. But the thing is, most receptions today (that I attend) take place in the evening. And to have the gap of time between the mass and the reception means most people skip the mass and just go to the reception. This is really a missed opportunity to have the ‘unchurched’ come to mass. I think the church needs to be more accomodating.

We had the same exact thing, this is not that uncommon.

Our wedding mass, that included communion (some don’t) lasted a hour and a half. We also had latin, which included chants, and a choir. We started at 1:30. The mass was done around 3pm, we had 1/2 hour 45 mins to get pics in the church, that took us almost until 4pm. We then were out at our grotto for another 45 min. We went in the limo to the hall to greet guest at the hall.

It was not a big deal, we had social for hour and a half. We ran into the same questions and gave suggestions for things to do. Including where the local coffee shops were, attractions, etc.

The reason is most churches have mass at 4pm.

There really is not that much wrong with having a gap between the wedding and reception. Some of our out of town guest went back to thier hotel to refreshen up before dinner.

That is another thing, make sure you get a hotel as close to the hall as possible and get the hotel conference room and set a social up there as well. There are many things that can be done to pass the time, please don’t blame the church.

 

[ljprevo]

5:30pm wedding? That would mean this. Is say mass was at 4pm, then the church would have to rush the people out and get it cleaned (people do leave things out at mass, spill things, etc) and get it set up for a wedding in a half hour? Mass runs about 1 hour, this would be 5pm. If it started at 4:30. Then it would bump that back father.

Then the wedding at 5:30, takes an hour. Then pictures, another hour about, that is now 7:30pm. You then have to get to the hall. 8pm, get settled, you are talking dinner at 8:30pm. To me, that would be a tad to late in my book.

Thus why I don’t think they have weddings after 4pm/4:30pm masses.

 

[Sarabande]

I would agree. The thing is, most Catholic guests would understand that many times there will be a gap between the wedding and the reception because of the very reason addressed. Almost every Catholic wedding I have ever attended always had an hour to two hour time gap. It is true that you will probably have non-Catholic guests not understand this, but a bridal couple should not be guilt-tripped into having a wedding outside of the Church because of that.

I know this was a huge topic on the secular bridal boards. Some brides would tear other women to shreds when they mentioned that they had to have a two hour gap because none of the venues that they could afford or that they liked, offered earlier reception times. “How rude of you to your guests!” and “It’s very selfish of you to do that to your guests.” They would tell these Catholic brides that they should just not get married in a Catholic church or find a church of another denomination or venue that will accomodate them.

We were fortunate that where we got married offered a 3:00 wedding because they had their Saturday evening mass at 5:00. Our wedding lasted an hour and 20 minutes. We had about an hour and a half gap. It was the best that we could do, but mostly everyone was accomodated during that time, especially since we were in the city.

The thing is we were married in a Cathedral. There was a chapel next door where the mass could take place if a wedding went over time. Plus many times, couples bring their own priests from their parishes to marry them and the Cathedral itself has about 5 priests. Many parishes aren’t as fortunate to have that, so a 1:30 mass may be the only available time for the one or two resident priests living in a smaller parish. So, in that regard, we can’t expect a parish to change their mass/wedding times if that is their situation.

 

[1ke]

Having said that, I think the Catholic church makes a big mistake by making the wedding masses at inconvenient times on a Saturday afternoon.

Inconvenien to whom? The Church is not your private party planning service.

A parish provides *many *sacraments, the sacrament of marriage being only one. The parish where we married has Saturday afternoon baptisms 2x per month and Confession Saturday morning and afternoon, additional they have a Saturday vigil Mass. And, they also have weddings.

In the spring they also have special masses for First Communion and Confirmation since the classes are so large that the regular mass is too full.

Everyone has to *share *both the facilities and the priests and deacons. Therefore, there are X slots available for wedding masses, and that’s it.

But the thing is, most receptions today (that I attend) take place in the evening.

This is not an actual reason.

And to have the gap of time between the mass and the reception means most people skip the mass and just go to the reception.

Most people? Most rude people maybe.

This is really a missed opportunity to have the ‘unchurched’ come to mass. I think the church needs to be more accomodating.

Can you honestly tell me with a straight face that your primary concern about the wedding mass time is your concern for the “unchurched”?

It’s clearly that you wanted an evening reception and wanted the wedding to accomodate that choice.

 

[estesbob]

We are a Mountian town and our Pastor is inudated with Catholics wanting to get married “in the mountains” He always replies “why would you want to get married in front of the Mountians when you can get married in front of he who made them.?”

 

[Brenda_V]

I am going to step in here and say that I don’t think it has anything at all to do with the times you can have a Wedding Mass! My daughter’s best friend had a 7 p.m. Wedding Mass and reception followed at her parents house.

For our Wedding we wanted to be married on a Friday evening but a different couple beat us to that date - which was good for us, bad for them as there was a major blizzard that day throughout most of the ND and northern MN. We were married on Dec. 30 at 3 p.m. That was enough time for most of our guests to get dug out and into town for the Wedding.

I think the reason is more a lack of Catechesis as to why one should marry in the church as opposed to somewhere else, you know, those “destination Weddings”.

Just out of curiosity, stbruno, how many change their minds once you have given them the catechesis they lack?

Brenda V.