Well, iepuras, I’m raising two daughters. I hear your experiences. Because of what you’re saying here, I’ll put forth extra effort to make sure neither daughter is taught such depressing nonsense, and I’m sorry that so many in your circle believed it.
The LDS notion that you can stay married to your beloved spouse for eternity, rather than parting ways at death, is comforting and desirable. Such a notion demands answers to the ‘what if’ questions, but I have better answers than you internalized.
Catholics figure you don’t stay married after death, correct? From what I’ve been told by Catholics, as created beings, we just change our natures to something else where our earthly ties to our spouses just aren’t really meaningful to us any more. Being in God’s presence and worshiping Him face to face sort of makes everything else just go away. Have I been told correctly?
Sorry, but it is not depressing nonsense or speculation. It was not limited to “my circle”. I had frank conversations with LDS women from other parts of the country I barely knew and they believed the same as I. These beliefs are not uncommon; however, they are not frequently discussed, especially with men. Everywhere I have lived, there have been LDS members from all over the country and the world. Whenever I discussed marriage and polygamy with other LDS women, our beliefs were consistent. These beliefs come from teachings on marriage in the LDS church, D&C 132 and teachings of LDS prophets. So are you saying that you have better teachings than LDS prophets? Pray tell, what are they?
Sorry, but if one of your daughers spends a lot of time as a young single adult, she may start thinking about these things more. The LDS church teaches that if one is faithful, not one blessing will be withheld from that person, including marriage. I was consistently taught (starting in Young Women’s) that if a woman does not marry in this life, she will be married in the celestial kingdom (so long as she is worthy of course). Maybe this means that the single women will be married to single men who were killed in war or something. I don’t know, but most of the women believe that they will end up as someone’s plural wife. There is a fear in the back of the minds of many, if not most, LDS women that they will have to share their husbands in the celestial kingdom. I look at all my beautiful little nieces who are being raised Mormon and I weep for them.
The problem with polygamy/plural wives is that women cannot be equal to men in order for it to work. Women have to be less then men to allow plural wives.
I love my husband and I hope that we are both in heaven together with our children. It doesn’t bother me in the least that our marriage ends at death. The LDS teaching of eternal families doesn’t provide much comfort to me because it is all contigent on everyone making it to the celestial kingdom. I believe that in heaven, my husband and I will have a special relationship with each other but it won’t be like earthly marriage. We will remember our works in this life, including our married life. Yes, our natures will be changed. We will not change them. God will change our natures so that we can participate in his divine nature and life.
In the LDS church, it always bothered me that I was expected to marry. For most of my life, I never thought that marriage and family life was for me. I love my husband and children to death. In all honesty, if I had found my way to the Catholic Church before I got married, I would have seriously looked into entering religious life. Even when I was LDS, I really admired Catholic nuns and sisters and thought that if I were Catholic, I would want to join them. Not everyone is made for or called to marriage and family life. LDS teachings ignore that fact. Catholicism acknowledges it and embraces both married and single life.