THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND!!!
Why Me,
When you compare the two philosophies, you have to admit that Majick is correct.
Mormonism and Catholicism are, at least as I understand the two, very similar psychologically. They require an adherent to subjugate his ego to the group and leader, and both provide some narcissistic rewards in return. (I’m paraphrasing Freud here, because I can’t put it more succinctly than he). In plain language, they are “all-or-nothing” philosophies.
I could understand your position if you were an adherent of one philosophy and an observer of the meetings of another. It seems as though you “hold callings” in both a Mormon ward and a Catholic congregation though. This does not seem rational.
The only way to have an authentic experience in both (at least from my perspective) would be to disengage from one tradition, at least so far as it put you back into observer status.
If you like Catholicism and want to “take the sacrament” in a more traditional Christian church, you can try the Episcopalians. They let other Christians and Mormons take the eucharist, and will let you volunteer without requiring confirmation. That means you can participate at nearly the level of a “member” while still being (technically) an observer.
The other option is to go inactive in your LDS ward, so that you can remain an active participant in the Catholic rites without sacrificing your own integrity. Inform your bishop that you’d like to be released from your callings and you won’t be accepting any assignments to speak. If he’s a jerk, he might decide to hold a disciplinary action, but that’s the risk you run. My bishop knows very well about my own interpretations of spirituality, and he’s fine with it, but he’s probably the exception in Mormondom. I’m sure I would be excommunicated in many wards.
In any event, it has been interesting to read your posts. It’s quite a fence you’re straddling, but ultimately it’s about what makes you happy rather than what someone else thinks you should do…