That is unbelievable! I know many Mormons who drink caffienated soda, and it does not keep them from going to the Temple or taking the sacrament.
It is suggested by the Word of Wisdom that we not partake of certain things, but as for being a sin of the extent your friend is making of it, I have never heard of such a thing. If these things were so sinful, I am sure at least half of the Mormon church members would not be worthy to take the sacrament.
As far as the points on abortion being just a little blip on the moniter of sin for Mormons, it is not true. There are some instances where a woman can be forgiven for this sin, but it is based on understanding of the law and individual circumstances.
As for judgements of sinfulness, all are judged according to their knowledge of right or wrong. If you had never been taught or had not understood properly the principle you would not be judged as harshly as a person who understood perfectly and then chose to break the law. All have their own free agency, to choose and they will be judged according to their choices. Drinking coffee as your friend does is just one of many (habits) to be overcome that may be bad for her health, gossiping would surely be considered worse as it hurts other people,and each thing is taken one by one and worked on as we progress through our lives. No one is perfect except Jesus.
The Sacrament is taken to renew baptismal covenants and to remember the Sacrifice Jesus made for us upon the cross. It is an individual's choice whether they feel they are worthy to partake. One week they may be feeling worthy and another week they may have had a disagreement with a neighbor, or any number of things that may make them feel unworthy.
Your friend is judging herself too harshly, and should keep trying to improve, but never think that because she slipped from her goal one week that she is unworthy forever. Her worthiness is in her own mind. No one knows her sins, or her level of repentance from one week to the next. Repentance is an ongoing constant thing. Drinking coffee may keep her from a Temple recommend, but there are many good Mormons who do not have Temple recommends.
That is just one of the goals we strive for, and even that does not mean we have reached perfection, it only means we are at the current time of the interview, living the principles of the gospel to the best of our ability.
When I rejoined the church after 20 years. I had to give up some habits that I had acquired outside of the church. One being drinking wine and alchohol and caffienated drinks, I just said to myself, Jesus suffered and died on the cross for me, how can I say that sacrificing wine is so difficult. It helped that I love Jesus and would sacrifice for him in such a small way. When you compare his sacrifice for us, then giving up alchohol is a minor thing in comparison, but it was a large thing for me. I am still struggling with Diet Pepsi and Coke. But, I know it is the best thing for my health to give it up. The fact that I occasionally drink a diet Pepsi does not keep me from taking the Sacrament. I do not feel it is a sin, but just a bad habit, to work on overcoming.
