But I was convinced at the time. If a testimony is supposed to grow (which I agree that it should) then why do the missionaries ask you if you will get baptized at the conclusion of the second discussion?
What about 18, now going on 19 years of faithful service trying to get that answer again? I actually believe that it was David O McKay that said if you don’t have a testimony fake it until you get one. Not only did I believe, I wanted to believe. I didn’t constantly try to receive another answer until after things started to not add up. And what about the temple where we are supposed to get answers? Nothing there either.
Well something similar is in Alma 32 - you don’t need to go to McKay. I am sure he did not exactly say “fake it”
The missionaries don’t want to waste time. They are looking for those who WOULD be baptized IF they had an experience which told them it was true. And if you disagree that that is the question, who would agree to join a religion after an hour or two of hearing about it? It is expressed as a hypothetical – If you knew the church was true, would you be baptized?
If you answer yes, they go on, no and you get dropped. Argue or ask questions, somewhere in between.
I will not say that the temple is easy, but when you look at how everything relates together with a spiritual eye you see patterns of how this gesture relates to that one. And they both have the same meaning. So if this means that, then what does THIS mean? So if it really meant THAT, then over here we’d do – HEY THAT’S WHAT WE DO OVER THERE! so This really does mean That!
And you have to read. The book of Abraham which everyone criticizes-- is full of clues to the endowment, some very much right out in the open. “This means that”. And then the cycle above starts – ok we know that this means that, and then we build on it to this-
Anyone who says that they are not related is just not getting it.
It’s like a spiritual jigsaw puzzle with the pieces scrambled. Ever read the bible code, where if you take different lines of the bible and line up the words in a certain line length, different things are spelled out? Kinda like that but different. It takes spiritual eyes and study and willingness. If you go there and take it at face value and doze through half of it, forget it. And if you were to do that in your head, you would have to memorize the whole bible first, letter by letter.
You nearly have to have it memorized before you can start putting it together, because you have to see all the pieces of the puzzle at once. Just like a jigsaw puzzle if you memorized the pieces and then put the picture together in your mind. Because gestures go with the text. If you are not seeing both simultaneously, you will never get it. The only way that is possible is by being there a zillion times first. You could read it a zillion times and never get it, because you would not be seeing it at the same time.
It all has to be “present to your mind” at the same time for it to fall together.
Remember that “magic eye” fad a few years ago, where you stare at a page of graphic jibberish, slide it in and out, and pretty soon it becomes a 3-d picture? If you looked at it one line at a time, the whole picture would never “jell”.
To say the least, it is an extremely effective technique at discouraging those who have a casual interest. It only starts falling together after about 20 or 30 years of study, because it takes that long to get it all memorized, and “present to the mind” so that the words go with the pictures.
But to get that far, you have to have a growing testimony and motivation. But once it does, there can be no doubt that Joseph was a prophet. Rationally no doubt whatsoever. Who could put that together ? No one but God. But you have to get there. Who in their right mind would take someone else’s word for it? You have to know for yourself to follow the path long enough to see the answer. — there’s another analogy. Those bumperstickers that look like nothing until you see the words “Jesus is the answer” - have you seen those?
Mormonism is not for everyone!
But think of all you learned about teaching and service, and how to train youth. I bet you would admit that your life is richer just from a secular point of view. So it was not a waste I hope.