Mortal sin, RCIA, no confessor, losing my mind

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mercygate said:
Amazing Grace is in a lot of our hymnals but some Catholics are cranky about it because of the words “the hour I first believed” – as if those words can refer only to a fundamentalist Protestant born-again experience. To my mind, anybody, including a cradle Catholic, can have a lightbulb experience in which he first UNDERSTANDS the magnitude of the grace in which he has walked all of his life, and the experience is very much like “the hour I first believed.”
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Maybe the song can be understood in the context of prevenient grace.
 
mommyof4 said:
Ok, quick question. I promise not bug you too much on this topic, either. Am I correct in my understanding that Calvinists believe that only the “elect” go to heaven? How do you know if you are one of the “elect,” or can you ever know? Do you have fears that you may not be a member of the elect? Do you youself or anyone you know have fears of not being a member of the elect? I’m just wondering if scrupulocity, and the fear of not being saved is something unique to Catholocism, or if other religions have this problem of scupulocity as well.

Thank you.🙂
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No, scrupolocity (sp?) is not unique to the Catholic faith.

But, yes, we believe that God’s elect are the only ones who will be saved. We also believe that it is possible to have assurance that you are part of the elect but you never can know with 100% certainty.
 
No offense, but, would you two mind taking the private conversation to a more appropriate place? I’d seriously appreciate it. Especially since stuff like this:
But, yes, we believe that God’s elect are the only ones who will be saved.
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…makes me acutely worse. Thanks for understanding.
 
Certainly, Giovanna. Just remember, our church teaches that God’s grace and salvation are open to all who choose to accept it.
 
Giovanna said:
No offense, but, would you two mind taking the private conversation to a more appropriate place? I’d seriously appreciate it. Especially since stuff like this:

…makes me acutely worse. Thanks for understanding.
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My apologies Giovanna. Let me just say that all you, or any of us can do, is trust in God’s grace.

I do believe that I am right when I point out that according to Trent the desire for the sacrament will suffice in a case like yours but of course I’m not Catholic so if this hasn’t been addressed you can ask it and I am sure you will get a very good response.
 
Thanks again. I really appreciate it. It’s also very nice of all of you to think of me by leaving advice. Thanks again for the kindness.
 
You’ve got a more sensitive Catholic conscience than a zillion Catholics in the pews (who think nothing of sin or confession).

Remember, God loves you. Jesus is your friend, He is near you. He is not trying to put you in Hell. But I can understand the torment.

Maybe give a priest a call in your area and take a drive and go there to get his advice.

Don’t let the fears knock you down. It’s certainly a trial. I’m sure every convert has a last trial of faith before entering the Church.

You’ve got a very good soul. Be not afraid! You’ll triumph over this hardship and come out stronger, more confident and more at peace than you’d ever imagine. Hang on – the storm seems frightening. Our Lord calmed the waves and the apostles found peace and confidence once again.
 
Reformed1 said:
My apologies Giovanna. Let me just say that all you, or any of us can do, is trust in God’s grace.

I do believe that I am right when I point out that according to Trent the desire for the sacrament will suffice in a case like yours but of course I’m not Catholic so if this hasn’t been addressed you can ask it and I am sure you will get a very good response.
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Desire will suffice. Here is a link to an analysis of what the council of trent said, thankyou Reformed. romancatholicism.org/trent-baptism.htm Giovanna, you might try St Johns wort it works in a couple of days rather than 2 to 3 weeks. I took Prosac for ten years for OCD. It was a God send for quite a while then became ineffective and I do not have insurance or funds to pay for counciling. St Johns wort is a lot simpler to take and it helps. I pray the Rosary daily. I Listen to an audio bible and if thoughs crowd in pray Lord have mercy Jesus have mercy. ect. I feel your pain. Try to remember we are not to judge yourself, that is the perview of Jesus our savior.
 
Well, i totally do not condone that priest saying you cant confess anymore until easter.
My Priest basically told me I could confess.
Who is he to say, since your not in the church you cant be confessed?
I really dont know much about it, but i went to confession 3 or 4 times before i was even in RCIA.
And, i believed 100% in it, due to recent… revelations and learnings.
But what I do want to say is it will be over, and do not lose hope for God’s Grace will prevail if you are hungry for it.
Don’t lose hope at all.
And one more thing
Do not lose hope!!

May the Grace of God be reunited with you and bring you to everlasting peace.

Godbless you
 
I would say that the woman who posted that she also suffered from OCD probably offered good advice. You need to talk to your therapist about the thought issue. The poster with OCD noted that all of our well meaning advice would not be of much help becuase you cannot easily control those thoughts.

Good adivce has been given here to give this to God, realize you are going to worry but that there is no need.

Finally, you note it became worse when you became Catholic…believe me that Protestants go through the same thing. You have people calling in talk shows like the Bible Answer Man and so on woried that they are not really saved, worried that they have committed the unforgiveable sin (blashemy of the Holy Spirit) and so on. I am sure that if they had OCD it makes it even worse.

Know that God loves you, many here will pray for you and look forward to your reception into the RC Church.

RevDrNorth
 
I know a dozen priests in my diocese who would hear your confession any time. I would bet there are many in your own diocese as well. The RCIA groups in the diocese are sometimes too enamored with their own rules and processes. I hate to say that but I’ve seen it too many times. This is a problem with a priest shortage – unqualified and un-pastoral lay people (who mean well) block people from the sacraments. I agree with the person who said that there’s no reason to wait until Easter. It’s actually ridiculous. What would those RCIA people do with a person in jail, for example, who wanted to confess? Tell them that they have to enter the program and wait until April? I hate to sound this way because I’m sure the RCIA leaders are very good and they want to do what is right. But I also fear that some people get too wrapped up in their program and they can’t see the real needs that are out there. I have gone to confession to numerous priests. I have never been refused by a priest for confession. Also, I have never been asked if I was baptised or if I was a Catholic. Confession is not like the Eucharist – it’s the one sacrament that you can receive in the state of mortal sin! There is nothing wrong with making a sincere Confession to the priest, and everything right about it.

But aside from all of that … desire for the sacrament is sufficient for absolution. When you feel nervous, say the Act of Contrition. That’s all you need to do (saying it with sincerity and sorrow for sin). God accepts that as a full confession until you can receive the sacrament.

But even just talking to a priest will make you feel 100% better also.
 
I endorse all the advice given above, I thank everyone who answered because I, too, suffer from scrupulosity. I would like to add that one way to cope with this heavy weight is to completely abandon oneself to God. It is an exercise in Trust. Everytime you have these feelings of overwhealming guilt and fear of condemnation say, “Jesus I trust in You.” or “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I believe in Your love for me.” Sometimes I say, “Lord, I can’t do this by myself. I need You to do it for me. I give myself to You, body, mind and spirit and beg You to transform me according to Your will. Jesus, I trust in You.”

Romans 8:28-38 has always been a great comfort to me when I feel particularly afflicted.
We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who have been called according to his decree. Those whom he foreknew, he predestined to share the image of his Son, that the Son might be the first-born of many brothers. Those he predestined he likewise called; those he called he also justified; and those he justified he in turn glorified. What shall we say after that? If God is for us, who can be against? Is it possible that he who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for the sake of us all will not grant us all things besides? Who shall bring a charge against God’s chosen ones? God, who justifies? Who shall condemn them? Christ Jesus, who died or rather was raised up, who is at the right hand of God and who intercedes for us?

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Trial, or distress, or persecution, or hunger, or nakedness, or danger, or the sword? As Scripture says: “For your sake we are being slain all the day long; we are looked upon as sheep to be slaughtered” Yet, in all this we are more than conquerors because of Him who has loved us. For I am certain that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor powers, neither height nor depth nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God that comes to us in Christ Jesus, our Lord." (NAB Romans 8:28-38)

Once, I was utterly convinced that I was going to die on an overseas journey and in a real state crying and fearful that I would die in my (mortal) sins. The Lord came to me and wrapped me in his Love and He said, “Do not be afraid. It doesn’t matter. Alive or dead, you are Mine.” He didn’t tell me that I wasn’t going to die, he told me that it didn’t matter. I repeat this to you now - it doesn’t matter. He knows your heart, how you are trying so hard to be true. You do not have to be perfect now, in this life, even though you are expected to try for it. God has chosen you, He has called you and He has justified you and - alive or dead - you are His.

The only other advice I would have would be to add the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy to your devotions, perhaps read the Diary of St. Faustina and meditate on God’s mercy.

TRUST in his promise. HE promised (you are not relying on yourself), and He is God and God does not lie.
 
I repeat this to you now - it doesn’t matter.
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Yes, it does. If I die now, I go to Hell- no second chances. That matters.
say the Act of Contrition. That’s all you need to do (saying it with sincerity and sorrow for sin). God accepts that as a full confession until you can receive the sacrament.
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Unfortunately, I can’t say a perfect Act of Contrition, because I fear Hell too much. It’s either Confession or doom.
Maybe give a priest a call in your area and take a drive and go there to get his advice.
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I’d gladly do this, if only they’d stop turning me away.
I know a dozen priests in my diocese who would hear your confession any time. I would bet there are many in your own diocese as well.
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Not that I’ve found, yet.
St Johns wort is a lot simpler to take and it helps.
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I’m looking for a way to handle a situation, though. As long as the Church teaches that even one unconfessed sin will instantly send a person who dies to Hell, even an IV of pure serotonin wouldn’t do me much good. I’d still be just as terrified as I am now.
 
Linda_Marie said:
I endorse all the advice given above, I thank everyone who answered because I, too, suffer from scrupulosity. I would like to add that one way to cope with this heavy weight is to completely abandon oneself to God. It is an exercise in Trust. Everytime you have these feelings of overwhealming guilt and fear of condemnation say, “Jesus I trust in You.” or “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I believe in Your love for me.” Sometimes I say, “Lord, I can’t do this by myself. I need You to do it for me. I give myself to You, body, mind and spirit and beg You to transform me according to Your will. Jesus, I trust in You.”

Romans 8:28-38 has always been a great comfort to me when I feel particularly afflicted.
We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who have been called according to his decree. Those whom he foreknew, he predestined to share the image of his Son, that the Son might be the first-born of many brothers. Those he predestined he likewise called; those he called he also justified; and those he justified he in turn glorified. What shall we say after that? If God is for us, who can be against? Is it possible that he who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for the sake of us all will not grant us all things besides? Who shall bring a charge against God’s chosen ones? God, who justifies? Who shall condemn them? Christ Jesus, who died or rather was raised up, who is at the right hand of God and who intercedes for us?

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Trial, or distress, or persecution, or hunger, or nakedness, or danger, or the sword? As Scripture says: “For your sake we are being slain all the day long; we are looked upon as sheep to be slaughtered” Yet, in all this we are more than conquerors because of Him who has loved us. For I am certain that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor powers, neither height nor depth nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God that comes to us in Christ Jesus, our Lord." (NAB Romans 8:28-38)

Once, I was utterly convinced that I was going to die on an overseas journey and in a real state crying and fearful that I would die in my (mortal) sins. The Lord came to me and wrapped me in his Love and He said, “Do not be afraid. It doesn’t matter. Alive or dead, you are Mine.” He didn’t tell me that I wasn’t going to die, he told me that it didn’t matter. I repeat this to you now - it doesn’t matter. He knows your heart, how you are trying so hard to be true. You do not have to be perfect now, in this life, even though you are expected to try for it. God has chosen you, He has called you and He has justified you and - alive or dead - you are His.

The only other advice I would have would be to add the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy to your devotions, perhaps read the Diary of St. Faustina and meditate on God’s mercy.

TRUST in his promise. HE promised (you are not relying on yourself), and He is God and God does not lie.
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This is wonderfully conceived and stated. I sincerely hope that the OP reads it and takes it to heart.
 
Everyone, I am so very sorry for my impatient, argumentative replies to your thoughtful advice. You have shown me far more charity than I deserve. Truly, thank you.

I am going to Adoration today, and will bring all of your names to the Eucharist with me, giving thanks for your patience and generosity.

Furthermore, I refuse to give in to temptation towards fear, despair, and lack of trust in God. Thank you for helping me realize some serious error.
 
Giovanna said:
Yes, it does. If I die now, I go to Hell- no second chances. That matters.

Unfortunately, I can’t say a perfect Act of Contrition, because I fear Hell too much. It’s either Confession or doom.

I’d gladly do this, if only they’d stop turning me away.

Not that I’ve found, yet.

I’m looking for a way to handle a situation, though. As long as the Church teaches that even one unconfessed sin will instantly send a person who dies to Hell, even an IV of pure serotonin wouldn’t do me much good. I’d still be just as terrified as I am now.
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Faith and the Mercy of God are not the result of mathematical formulas. His mercy is not simply “this therefore that”, you desire has much to do with it.

And it seem you have desire aplenty.

As I am sure others have mentioned, a random thought is not a sin. It is only when you consiously choose not to reject and entertain it instead that enter the realm of sin.

For mortal sin you need three components, A grave matter, knowledge that it is wrong, sufficiant time to consider this yet make the consious choice to engage in the act.

I do not think a random thought quite meets the muster mortal sin. Possibly not even venial sin.

God knows your heart. There have been many people who died in an apparent state of mortal sin, yet, because they were contrite and desired confession, were certainly granted God’s mercy.

Take care that you do not become too scrupulous. Over-scrupulosity, which is another way of rejecting God’s mercy, is itself sinful.
 
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