Most priests know far more about marriage than most married people do

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In all honesty, you’ll get a lot more insight into me from my online posting on CAF from the last 5 years than if you had a recording or transcript of all of my confessions of the past 20 years.

I explain my motivations and what makes me tick on CAF in a way that I don’t in confession.
 
TheAmazingGrace said:
Not to mention that what is considered a “problem” within a marriage might not necessarily be a sin, so it won’t make it to confession.
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I think many, many things within a marriage that could be considered “problems” are not in any way “sinful” so would never be confessed. Disagreements about how to spend money, how to raise children, how to reconcile differing desires regarding leisure time are just three. There are many more. Priests have no children, so don’t deal with that problem, and with no human spouse, they can go where they want on vacation, spend what leisure time they have as they choose.
 
ConstantLearner said:
I think many, many things within a marriage that could be considered “problems” are not in any way “sinful” so would never be confessed. Disagreements about how to spend money, how to raise children, how to reconcile differing desires regarding leisure time are just three. There are many more. Priests have no children, so don’t deal with that problem, and with no human spouse, they can go where they want on vacation, spend what leisure time they have as they choose.
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Right.

It’s possible to argue in a sinful manner, but just the disagreement alone is not a sin.

A diocesan priest has a lot more freedom to do as he chooses in his free time than a married person with a growing family does.

It’s like St. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:

“The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; 33 but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband.”

St. Paul isn’t criticizing the married, he’s just stating a fact about the difference between the two stations of life at their best–the married person is unavoidably pulled in more directions.

The up side is that the married person is less likely to fall into sloth, as they have people around them poking and prodding them to do their duty, in a way that the single person does not.
 
Edward_H said:
Why must “empathy” be the criterion?

That’s secular psych speaking.

Presenting the truth to people in an effective way is the criterion. Bringing people to the truth is the end goal.
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Empathy can help in the effective communication of the truth.
 
Nah. The best way to communicate the truth is to tell someone they’re a prideful complainer. Works every time.
 
Edward_H said:
A day that one hasn’t mortified oneself happily for one’s bride is a day lived with less love.

“No routine kisses” is some advice that I once got from…wait for it…

a priest of Opus Dei!

Shudders!
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Interesting advice. Life is full of routine and not every moment needs to be earth-shattering. I’ll take my routine kisses as well as the special ones. Going on 17 happily-married years and it hasn’t hurt us yet.
 
Every moment is a moment for us to add enough love to “rejoice”. It says so in Scripture.

“Rejoice always, I say again rejoice!”

It often takes just a little spur of love - of happy effort - to help ones bride’s outlook and mood…a bit more love in a kiss…and we must do what we can to make their life more pleasant and to help them know once again that they are loved.

It’s phenomenal advice, inexhaustible.

No routine kisses.
 
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The priests I know well are too humble and wise to say this. But you can hear it in their help during spiritual direction and in confession… gently penetrating and nudging questions and suggestions. They KNOW far more than me and I’ve been very happily marrried for well more than 30 years. They know.
 
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Edward_H said:
Laziness and excuse making.
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Nah, realistic. Plus, more suitable in front of the kids.

Bear in mind that you’re scandalizing the ladies who are getting “routine kisses” from their husbands or none at all.
 
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Edward_H said:
The priests I know well are too humble and wise to say this. But you can hear it in their help during spiritual direction and in confession… gently penetrating and nudging questions and suggestions. They KNOW far more than me and I’ve been very happily marrried for well more than 30 years. They know.
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Some do, some don’t.

There are a lot of very so so confessors out there.

But it still works–just like those “routine kisses.”
 
Edward_H said:
Every moment is a moment for us to add enough love to “rejoice”. It says so in Scripture.

“Rejoice always, I say again rejoice!”

It often takes just a little spur of love - of happy effort - to help ones bride’s outlook and mood…a bit more love in a kiss…and we must do what we can to make their life more pleasant and to help them know once again that they are loved.

It’s phenomenal advice, inexhaustible.

No routine kisses.
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Sometimes there just isn’t time.
 
When every moment is a trysting place with God there are no “routine moments” to provide “constrast”, our life instead becomes more joyful and lively, and He can the “infect” others with His ‘bonus odor’ in the words of St Paul (or was it St Peter?).
 
Edward_H said:
A ridiculous and irrational frankly assertion.

Must all our knowledge of people come from words they tell us?

That’s what you assert. A sola scripuraist in the making.
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You’re asking me to blindly trust everything you say. Ain’t happening.
 
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