Most priests know far more about marriage than most married people do

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Another ridiculous and frankly irrational assertion.

Said no such thing.

As Pope Benedict reminded us…we must use our reason to the fullest extent possible…to know the truth, coupled with using our faith to the fullest extent possible.

So use your reasoning capability.

Do people learn from what others tell them?
Do people gain an aggregate sense of things by listening to what many people tell them?
Do people learn from reading and discussion groups?
Do people learn from mentors?
Do people learn from “reasoning over” all of these varied sources, across many years?
Do people learn by reflecting on what divine revelation (given to them by the Church) says about human nature?
Do people learn in prayer? Does God give them insight and inspiration in prayer about various matters?

Now…do priests know more about the dynamics of marriage (compared to a mere married couple) if their job feeds them these sources of information every day for years, on the most intimate matters of marriage even?

Use reason and stop the internet jousting.
 
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It may seem unreasonable to people who have a low appreciation for the importance of marriage and for the trust we should have in priests to help us with our marriages.

But thanks for the opinion.
 
Xantippe said:
There are a lot of very so so confessors out there.
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My pastor is so busy he just accepts what he’s told, gives a penance, and that is that. My friends tell me the same. It isn’t that he doesn’t care; he does. He’s just far too busy. Most of the priests I know are.
 
Edward_H said:
It may seem unreasonable to people who have a low appreciation for the importance of marriage and for the trust we should have in priests to help us with our marriages.
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–The kissing advice just isn’t practical for parents of multiple small children. Sweet, but not practical, and it will make a lot of women think that their husbands are inadequate or couples feel that there’s something wrong with their marriage if it isn’t 24/7 Gone With the Wind kisses.
–Other priests are happy to delegate to and learn from the laity.
–The clergy don’t have to do everything for us.
–As other people have noted, you have been very aggressive with other posters, and you’re not very good at accepting information from other people, even when it’s material they clearly understand better than you do (like breastfeeding).
 
ConstantLearner said:
My pastor is so busy he just accepts what he’s told, gives a penance, and that is that. My friends tell me the same. It isn’t that he doesn’t care; he does. He’s just far too busy. Most of the priests I know are.
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And when there are 5+ people out there in line behind you, are you really going to do the War and Peace version of the last fight you had with your spouse or teenager when the details aren’t that important? “I lost my temper” covers it just fine.
 
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you need some help in understanding what I mean.
I’m happy to give you some ideas.

No routine kisses could mean a million things.
winking on the way in…winking on the way out.
nibbling on the lower lip for a microsecond.
over puckering on the way in.
teasing her hair just a bit in the middle.
purring or meowing after finishing the quick kiss.

A lively heart and a desire ot please God and one’s spouse is what leads to endless creativity.

Each of these extra acts only takes a nanosecond to do, and it leads to a spirit of romanticism that lasts hours.
 
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Again, Edward. This is a discussion board. They are casual places.
 
Edward_H said:
you need some help in understanding what I mean.
I’m happy to give you some ideas.

No routine kisses could mean a million things.
winking on the way in…winking on the way out.
nibbling on the lower lip for a microsecond.
over puckering on the way in.
teasing her hair just a bit in the middle.
purring or meowing after finishing the quick kiss.

A lively heart and a desire ot please God and one’s spouse is what leads to endless creativity.

Each of these extra acts only takes a nanosecond to do, and it leads to a spirit of romanticism that lasts hours.
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Not every kiss needs to titalate. A sweet kiss on the cheek is often enough. And when I’m angry with him, or he with me, a perfunctory kiss is often a way to say, “I love you and I’m working on this.”

I’m glad your priest’s advice worked for you. It was offered to you. That doesn’t mean it is universally applicable.
 
Edward_H said:
I started this post and I’ll finish it.
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Is that what this is? The need to have the last word? I can relate. Sometimes it is hard to just walk away. But if we all stop trying to refute you, you’ll be finished? Done!
 
I have a fiance I’ve known for quite some time. We are very affectionate with each other. By “routine kisses,” i assume you mean perfunctory kisses on the cheek or a peck on the lips and not passionate, soul-emptying kisses like most people who love each other indulge in when they are alone.

Well, my fiance does give me perfunctory kisses at times, but I treasure those, and so does he, and I can tell you, there is nothing routine about them. I loaned my car to a friend, so my fiance has been dropping me off at places where I want and need to go. When I get out of the car, it’s very crowded - it’s often downtown LA - and we will give each other a quick kiss on the lips, not a passionate, lingering one, which would be unseemly in public. But there is nothing routine about that quick kiss. If we didn’t give it to each other, we’d feel bad, and that quick kiss makes us feel better the entire time we’re apart. Those quick, perfunctory kisses that you call “routine” deepen our relationship and our love for each other, and though I don’t know and can’t speak for anyone else, I’m willing to bet that the other women on this thread feel the same.

Edit: I don’t think a priest has ever experienced a relationship like this. The missing each other when you’re apart, the anticipation of seeing the one you love, the joy of simply spending time together, the love you feel just knowing the other is right there beside you. Maybe a few priests have experienced this before their calling to the priesthood, but most of the priests I know, and I’ve known many, have never experienced a relationship like this. And, whether you like it or not, experience really is the best teacher.
 
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Maybe somewhere in the middle…I gave some examples above…mix it up…takes a nanosecond, and it leaves one’s bride happy or guessing what’s next. Goofy, frisky, quirky, unexpected, maybe occasionally (if you’re married) sensuous/inviting. But keep her guessing.
 
Not all of my examples - obvious to others - were meant to be acts of titillating…some are goofy, some are playful, some are nothing more than a wink.

There is a gene in some people here who need everything fully written down for them…so that they can then pick at this or that one. Sola scripturaists of a different sort.
 
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