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ElizaE
Guest
I was looking at this web site for brides. I am married but I sometimes entertain myself by looking at the dresses and the question these girls have. It is a cute site and I asked questions on there while I was getting ready for my wedding.
One forum is designated for cultural and religious issues. One girl asked if the priest will refuse to marry her if she moved in with her fiance before they were married. I replied that it is a sin and she should not do it (I am parephrasing). Below is the reply that was posted. It honestly leads me to believe that women my age have a very liberal view of the Church and has the idea that if it feels good it must not be a sin. Below is her reply…(I am not posting the link, but I hope this will be ok)
Responses to a couple of posts…
One forum is designated for cultural and religious issues. One girl asked if the priest will refuse to marry her if she moved in with her fiance before they were married. I replied that it is a sin and she should not do it (I am parephrasing). Below is the reply that was posted. It honestly leads me to believe that women my age have a very liberal view of the Church and has the idea that if it feels good it must not be a sin. Below is her reply…(I am not posting the link, but I hope this will be ok)
Responses to a couple of posts…
- It really depends on the priest. Some will marry any two people as long as one is at least a baptized Catholic. Some on the other hand won’t marry you if like one poster said one has not been through all the sacraments. Some will not marry you if one is not at all Catholic. And I’ve known several people, psot Vatican II who have actually told me that they were told they were not welcome/excommunicated, etc. for wanting to marry someone outside the faith.
- Eliza, I don’t think you’re opinion is unpopular per se, I think it is the perfectly understood Catholic doctrine. Unfortunatley, the Catholic Church has a lot of doctines a lot of Catholics, who deeply love their Church, just cannot agree with. BUT, one little known Catholic doctrine that to me makes everything make sense is that you do have a conscience, and when what you know deep down to be right conflicts with even the Pope, you have a duty to God to follow your conscience. To me, I disagree with the Church’s stance that living together is wrong. For me, it was right. If the Church had refused to marry us, well then that would be their perogative. But I think you have a lot of Catholics right now who can’t figure out how to live or what to do because the Church’s teachings are in conflict with their own God given conscience. And for me, it was even harder to put much stock in the some of the teachings of the Church when they conflicted with my conscience, because, frankly, I was so saddened by the actions of the Church’s hierarchy. I really struggled with taking the advice of men who are part of an organization (the priesthood, not the Church) that 5% or more of were engaged in child abuse AND the hierarchy looked the other way or moved them around. This very perevasive problem made me lose a lot of faith in them. Getting married should be easier in the Church, the horror stories are far too many. They should be more interested in preserving the family unit. Like ok, no birth control, no abortions, no pre-marital sex… shouldn’t they be making it easier for more people to get married? I mean they understand that people aren’t perfect, we are all sinners in the eyes of God. I mean how bad is it to sleep together before marriage really? Even if it is a sin, jsut add it to the list. I am human, therefor I sin. And priests are human, therefor they sin, although I’d dare say some of them are sinning a lot worse then me if you believe that sins are tiered somehow. (Someone once told me if you’re going to steal, might as well steal a million bucks because it’s just as bad as stealing a dollar. I don’t know that I agree with it totally, but you get the idea…) I think God is forgiving, and if he can forgive some of their actions, well he can certainly forgive me for living with my husband before marriage. Besides the scandals… it seems that even in terms of adult sex, well, they are having it more then we can believe. I read an interesting article recently can’t recall where, that talked about the huge numbere of priests dying from AIDS (but the church referring to their illness as something else sometimes hindering them getting proper medical treatment and medication) that they contracted from Gay sex. And there are priests out there having sex with women too. Personally I think it should all be ok, they should be allowed to marry, they should be allowed to marry a man even, but for now, they took a vow and just like I have a duty to honor my vow to my husband they have a duty too. Their duty even says no masturbating! Do I think there are good priests who have totally honored their vows and because they maintain a strong life of contemplative prayer perhaps are closer to God’s will and can therefore advise me in my life? ABSOLUTELY. But there are a lot who aren’t like that, and I think a lot of Catholics get angry that these guys get to tell us what to do, often not so nicely, and you have to wonder sometimes, what exactly are they up to on weekends, y’know?
