Moving out and possible estrangement

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I left my emotionally and now physically abusive parents, but now I need to return for my things. I tried to get my parents to work on our relationship, but they are mentally-ill narcissists who see me as utilitarian property and will not compromise. They believe they are perfect parents and I am 100% the problem (eternal scapegoat). When I attempt to set a boundary, they say I am being cruel and “they don’t know what happened to me,” “may God watch over me” etc because I am so “mean”. I’ve showed my priest and therapist our text exchanges and they both say I am being more than fair, and that I need to walk away from the relationship. There is no forseeable solution for our relationship because they refuse to make any changes to our relationship. I realized that I am putting in 200% to the relationship and when I step being a doormat, we have no relationship. The only thing connecting us is biology and money because they don’t even respect me- and those are not good enough reasons to continue to be abused. My parents also roped in the rest of the family into their side by twisting what I say and they can’t understand why I’d want to leave “parents who have given me everything.” They have no idea of the whole story. But, I am returning home some time this week or next week- with a police escort- to gather my belongings.

I pray that:
-My parents will let me in the house peacefully and the police won’t have to step in
-They will freely allow me to gather my things and not argue over “I gave you that- it’s mine!”
-Money my parents took will be returned
-My anxiety disorder does not get the better of me, and I can be strong enough to face them again
-I stay focused and don’t get greedy, sentimental, or caught up in the family heirlooms, just collect essentials, documents, and things with true meaning.
-They even still have my things and didn’t throw them away. My mom did say she was giving my things away.
-My parents and I may one day be reconciled. That they may be healed from their anger over their own childhoods.
-The events are not twisted and passed on
-I can maintain a relationship with the rest of my family, especially grandparents
-Grant all of us peace
 
Praying for the intentions of you & your family. May you have peace & harmony.
 
Good luck. If they are true narcissists it is unlikely they will have much interest in you once they realize they can’t control you anymore, unless they need to use you to manipulate another sibling later on. It sounds like estrangement might be a relief, but it’s also sad.
 
Allegra said:
Good luck. If they are true narcissists it is unlikely they will have much interest in you once they realize they can’t control you anymore, unless they need to use you to manipulate another sibling later on. It sounds like estrangement might be a relief, but it’s also sad.
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Yes, they already made that clear. My mom returned a portion of my money, said she didn’t love me anymore, and her health was suffering from our relationship so she was “letting me go.” That night I got a text that she wanted to do family therapy- my condition to have a relationship with them- and she said she loves me. It’s now been a week of silence. It’s honestly a relief.

All I worry about is losing the rest of my family because my mom is a professional victim and manipulator. She will lie, cheat, and bend the truth to turn everyone against me as ‘punishment.’
 
Allegra said:
Good luck. If they are true narcissists it is unlikely they will have much interest in you once they realize they can’t control you anymore, unless they need to use you to manipulate another sibling later on. It sounds like estrangement might be a relief, but it’s also sad.
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I sadly agree with your post, Allegra, as I came from a family that was like this, too.

They didn’t really bother with me very much unless they needed me for something. Then they would be calling me/contacting me and couldn’t be more kind to me. Other than that, it was like I didn’t really exist to them. My family was/is full of narcissistic behavior, too. It is really very toxic, growing up in that kind of a family environment.

Prayers said for you, TOBaddict.

I pray that all goes well for you when you go to pick up your personal items.

May God bless you.
 
†

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen.

†

Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle,
be our defense against the wickedness and snares
of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray.
And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the
power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other
evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

St. Thérèse of Liseux Prayer From “Story of A Soul”

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Amen.

†

Lord, thank you that you are with me right now.
Your love surpasses all fear.
I give you the anxiety I feel.
I surrender all my worries to you.
Clear my mind;
Calm my heart;
Still my Spirit;
Relax my being, that, I may
always glorify you in everything
I write, speak and do.

Amen.

†

Jesus, Help Me

In every need let me come to Thee with humble trust, saying,
Jesus, help me!

In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations,
Jesus, help me!

In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials,
Jesus, help me!

In the failure of my plans and hopes; in disappointments, troubles and sorrows,
Jesus, help me!

When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good come from my efforts,
Jesus, help me!

When others fail me, and Thy grace alone can assist me,
Jesus, help me!

When I throw myself on Thy tender love as Father and Savior,
Jesus, help me!

When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me,
Jesus, help me!

When sickness and loneliness overcome me,
Jesus, help me!

Always, in weakness, falls and shortcomings of every kind,
Jesus, help me and never forsake me.

Thank You, dear Lord Jesus.

Amen.

†

Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love.
Sweet Heart of my Jesus, grant that I may always love You more.
Heart of Jesus, burning with love for us, set our hearts on fire with love of You.
Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make our hearts like Your Heart.

Amen.

†

Prayers said. All will be well. Do not fear, the Lord is protecting you.
Do not be lonely, your guardian angel is beside you.
Be comforted, Mother will watch over you, and the
Holy Spirit will guide you.

Amen.

†

Prayer Against Depression
………….By St Ignatius of Loyola

O Christ Jesus
When all is darkness
And we feel our weakness and helplessness,
Give us the sense of Your Presence,
Your Love and Your Strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
In Your protecting love
And strengthening power,
So that nothing may frighten or worry us,
For, living close to You,
We shall see Your Hand,
Your Purpose, Your Will through all things.

Amen.

†

Let Nothing Disturb You

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.

Patience,
Obtains all things,
Whoever has God
Lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.

Santa Teresa de Jesús
(Santa Teresa de Ávila)

Amen.

†

**My Jesus,
I believe that You are
present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things, and
I desire to receive You into my soul.
**Since I cannot at this moment receive
You sacramentally, come at least spiritually
into my heart. I embrace You
as if You were already there and
unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated
from You.

Amen.

†
**
Thank You, dear Lord Jesus.

Amen.

† **

:signofcross:

:blessyou:
 
Father Almighty, bless this family with Your loving grace. Our Lady of Guadelupe, pray for us!
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Remembering you, your family and all your intentions in my daily prayers. God bless.
 
Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Praying that our gracious Lord will give you strength as you take on this difficult task. I also ask our Blessed Mother to watch over you and pray for you.

I am so sorry you are going through this. May God continue to watch over you and bless and protect you.
 
Praying for you…
+

*O most beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, Fruitful Vine, Splendor of Heaven, who brought forth the Son of God still remaining a Virgin, assist us in this necessity. *
  • O Star of the Sea, help us, and show us that you are our Mother. *
  • O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and earth, we humbly ask you from the depths of our heart to help us in this necessity. There are none who can withstand your power. *
  • O show us that you are our Mother.*
  • O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. **Sweet Mother, we place this cause in your hands. *
  • Amen.*
Flos Carmeli
 
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