Moving to another pew when someone sits in front of us, a scandal?

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acadiANNA said:
Response: Longing Soul… Yes, open toed shoes do leave your feet vulnerable to many nail fungi and other infections. Wearing hosiery with these shoes provides limited protection. There’s still a risk. So says my foot doctor.
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You must live where the humidity is high and constant. Where I live, a person could go barefoot all the time and not have a problem except at pools and other places that are both warm and humid.
 
Just an aside regarding the original post,
I have occasionally had to change my seat at mass, when I sat in a place that was empty, because I realized I was coming down with something, and then families with small children would come and sit in front or beside me . I really don’t want to give a cold or anything to a child, so have had to move.
They probably thought it was because I dislike children, but that’s far from the truth. And it’s not that I was sick and attending mass, but I can tell when I’m on the verge of a cold.

.
 
underacloud said:
Sit in the front row.

Problem solved. You’re welcome. 😉

And the priest will feel less lonely too. They love having people closer to the front.
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Exactly.
Sit in the front and be the example. And NEVER worry about a wiggly baby. Our Pastor says when children make a bit of noise, he says a prayer of thanksgiving for a child so love and wanted that their parents kept it.
 
1). Friends, it’s your personal choice what shoes you wish to wear. It’s your right and privilege.
2). In our Church bulletin -Daily Bread Page: Friday September 18 1 Timothy 6:3c-12; Luke 8:1-3 Watch where you look We are too often bombarded by digital images, violent and sexual, that we’d rather not, or perhaps shouldn’t, see. Because when you look upon something, you can’t later “unsee” it. You might forget it, but it affects you, maybe tempts you, maybe desensitizes you. So exercise what’s called, in Catholic tradition, “custody of the eyes”—that is, be careful what you choose to look at, think about your intention when you choose to look at things, and avoid letting your gaze linger where it could do you harm. “Lay hold of eternal life, to which you were called.”
3). I think our Pastor would say, “Sit where you want.”
 
MarkInOregon said:
Lily this post is not directed directly at you.
You’re right it should be all about Christ, but where do we find Christ? Do we find Christ only in the Eucharist or do we also find him in the noisy baby? (“as you did it to one of these, the least of my brethren, you did it to me” (Mt 25:40)–are we sending Christ to the cry room or telling him to stay home from Mass?) I’m sorry but when we tell them to go to the cry room–we’re not making Mass about Christ–we’re making it about how we want our Mass experience to be i.e. making it about us. I have a hard time believing Christ is upset by a babies crying and is thinking about how disrespectful that baby is being to him. (“And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, 'Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it. Then he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands on them.” (Mk 10:13-16)

This should not be taken to mean that I am in favor of extremely disruptive children at Mass–because I do fail to understand why parents don’t leave the “sanctuary” (this is for you jmcrae), I mean nave, when their children are extremely disruptive but its not because I think they are offending Jesus or making the Mass about themselves. I think it would be because they would see Jesus in us and want to do something for us–their fellow parishioners (it is after all a two way street).

When we come here and complain about the way parishioners are dressed, that they don’t genuflect, that they don’t bless themselves with holy water, don’t seem reverent enough, that we sang such and such a song, that so and so’s baby was so loud, that father did xyz, or whatever it is --that’s ruining our Mass experience–and then claim that these people are making the Mass all about themselves–we should just look at ourselves in the mirror and laugh because we’re the ones that are not making the Mass about Christ but rather about how we think the Mass should be i.e. about us. We’re the ones failing to focus on Christ and blaming it on others. If I would let them–a lot of things at Mass would irritate me (currently they’ve stopped announcing the hymn at Mass and the music just starts–I know it’s petty but it drives me crazy–so you can see I can be irritated by the most trivial of things). Now I have a choice I can 1.) be irritated and focus on everything that bothers me and let Mass be ruined or 2.) I can ignore it, pray the prayers, read the readings, receive Christ in the Eucharist and try to see Christ in everyone at Mass–if I do this I am focused on Christ and Mass is enjoyable no matter what goes on around me. To be quite truthful my eyes are closed through all the prayers, I follow the readings, sing the songs, and take notes during the homily–that leaves very little time for looking around worrying about what everyone else at Mass is or is not doing. I guess I’ve come to see that I am responsible for my focus at Mass and if I let others bother me–that’s on me. Since I have started down this path I find that my experience at Mass is almost always good no matter where I go because no one can ruin my Mass experience but me–it took me a long time to realize this. Christ should give us a joy and peace that others can’t take away – I think it’s why the early Christians could go joyfully to their deaths. That joy and peace is what I am shooting for–though I have a long long way to go.

The peace of Christ,
Mark
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Well stated.
Enough already with the criticisms of everything and everybody…right down to the celebrants.
Thank you Mark. 👍
 
Viki63 said:
Just an aside regarding the original post,
I have occasionally had to change my seat at mass, when I sat in a place that was empty, because I realized I was coming down with something, and then families with small children would come and sit in front or beside me . I really don’t want to give a cold or anything to a child, so have had to move.
They probably thought it was because I dislike children, but that’s far from the truth. And it’s not that I was sick and attending mass, but I can tell when I’m on the verge of a cold.

.
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You probably won’t infect anyone if you just tell them as you leave that you’re moving because you’ve been exposed to something and don’t want to take the chance that you could pass on something contagious. They’ll probably appreciate that very much, actually. (Smile and wave at the baby as you go…)
 
I attended 7:00 PM Mass. Someone in front of me-a family of 4-one of them had a strong smell of Vicks Vapor Rub. I became nauseated twice. I still have the odor in my lungs. I probably could have changed seats before the Mass began. I didn’t think it would bother me that much, but it did. At the time, I had decided I would not move, having read this thread earlier today. It’s just one of those things we have to go through sometimes. Prayed for the family and my ‘suffering’ offered for the poor souls in Purgatory.
 
EasterJoy said:
You probably won’t infect anyone if you just tell them as you leave that you’re moving because you’ve been exposed to something and don’t want to take the chance that you could pass on something contagious. They’ll probably appreciate that very much, actually. (Smile and wave at the baby as you go…)
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Exactly. When I was (very) pregnant, I once realized halfway through Mass that the closest person to me (fortunately about half a pew away) seemed to be dealing with, at the very least, a seriously nasty cold–nonstop coughing/nose-blowing, etc. I didn’t want to seem rude by not shaking her hand, but I also didn’t want to risk getting sick: the flu and pregnancy do not mix well, and in any case my OB has the very sensible policy of not seeing anyone in his office if they have flu symptoms. So I passed her a note saying something like, "I apologize for not shaking your hand during the sign of peace; I have a specialist appointment this week and would have to cancel if I got sick. Peace be with you! 🙂 " I made sure I gave her a big smile when I passed the note.

She certainly seemed understanding and not at all offended.
 
retire_early said:
We were lucky growing up in that our parish had mass times at 7, 8, 9, 10:15, and 11:30. With eight children spread out over 20 years, we had family members coming and going to masses: some altar servers, others sleepyheads, some staying home with babies, etc., others preparing the big meals. Rare and somewhat inconvenient to have everyone attending the same Mass. We were only 1/2 mile from church, so walking / riding bikes was an often-used option. Maybe to the priest it seemed extra-holy and Norman Rockwell-ish to see everyone attend as a family, but for practicality, maybe not so much. I never heard that God gave extra points if you showed up for Mass as a team.
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We’ve always gone as a family, living quite a few miles from Church and have nine, but honestly this literally made me LOL.

Norman Rockwell-ish. I hope God gives you some extra points for your humor.

You are right on the money. We all do what works for our family. God is the priority, not who comes when.
 
I’ve complained about noisy children, but I noticed Sunday that they really don’t bother me that much.

I sit in the front pew, and I’m not offended in the slightest if someone wants to move. By the same token, if I feel I have to move, I’ll do it in the least obtrusive way possible and hope no one is offended.

I don’t like flip flops, but maybe that’s all the person has. I don’t know. I don’t want people to dictate to me what to wear, so I’m not going to judge them on their appearance.

We’re all there to worship God as a community, and as long as that gets done, I’m okay with things.
 
A young mum and gran had two very active little girls with them today, sitting just in front of me. I know I was wrong to be irritated, but we had a very special celebrant for the Mass today in our small church (which was a complete surprise). I really wanted to listen to his homily, but I missed most of it because of the constant talking, shouting out and occasional loud crying.

I could see other people around me were equally bothered, but the young mum was quite unconcerned. I know it’s wrong to be annoyed by noisy children as it’s not their fault, they are just too young to understand (and Jesus wants children to come to Him) - but I love my peaceful hour at Mass, and today it wasn’t peaceful at all. 🙂

I suppose I feel bad for my lack of charity. My weakness, I reckon.
 
I think most of us have to be more charitable at mass (myself included). Kids are going to make some noise and it’s unreasonable to expect complete silence. At the same time, parents have to realize that constant/very loud noise is a disruption.
 
I too find it hard to concentrate and give Christ the full attention and respect he deserves when girls are wearing yoga pants, super tight jeans, or short skirts. I mean, what the heck.
 
Polluted said:
I too find it hard to concentrate and give Christ the full attention and respect he deserves when girls are wearing yoga pants, super tight jeans, or short skirts. I mean, what the heck.
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Try viewing them as your sister in Christ. Guard you mind as well as your eyes.
If you can’t help but look at their posterior, sit in the front.
 
pianistclare said:
Try viewing them as your sister in Christ. Guard you mind as well as your eyes.
If you can’t help but look at their posterior, sit in the front.
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Ya I’ve tried that…it’s a whole other discussion. All it does is anger the elderly folks. Heck last time I did that, 2 of them made some smart allec comment on a nice loud voice for me to hear. I wasn’t even in reserved seating! But I guess it was far enough up where it was considered “their seat” in their minds

…jerks
 
Polluted said:
Ya I’ve tried that…it’s a whole other discussion. All it does is anger the elderly folks. Heck last time I did that, 2 of them made some smart allec comment on a nice loud voice for me to hear. I wasn’t even in reserved seating! But I guess it was far enough up where it was considered “their seat” in their minds

…jerks
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Jerks?
How about acting like a committed Catholic and refrain from judging others?
People are ticky about where they sit, yes. Reserved sating? I’ve never been to a church with reserved seating. :confused:
But the only way that is going to change is if people sit where they please and focus on the MASS. How do people perceive you? Do you really know?
It seems as though you project your personal views on everyone in every situation.
Do you have a spiritual director? You should talk to him or her about this and other things.
I think you might be missing out on a lot. 🤷
 
pianistclare said:
Jerks?
How about acting like a committed Catholic and refrain from judging others?
People are ticky about where they sit, yes. Reserved sating? I’ve never been to a church with reserved seating. :confused:
But the only way that is going to change is if people sit where they please and focus on the MASS. How do people perceive you? Do you really know?
It seems as though you project your personal views on everyone in every situation.
Do you have a spiritual director? You should talk to him or her about this and other things.
I think you might be missing out on a lot. 🤷
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Ya sorry, I enjoy playing Holy Roller as much as the next guy but this isn’t one of those times. Those folks knew what they were being and YES they were being jerks. This is an issue as I have heard the basis of an entire homily over this very topic. I don’t care how upset you are about your non existant seat inside God’s house…get over it and don’t make snarky comments about it before mass 👍

And I think it’s noble that you took it upon yourself to JUDGE the quality of my spiritual life, assume I don’t have a spiritual director, then imply that I can be a better more refined versión of who I am or obtain a more enlightened outlook and experiance the rightous joy you seem to hold :rolleyes:
 
Polluted said:
Ya sorry, I enjoy playing Holy Roller as much as the next guy but this isn’t one of those times. Those folks knew what they were being and YES they were being jerks. This is an issue as I have heard the basis of an entire homily over this very topic. I don’t care how upset you are about your non existant seat inside God’s house…get over it and don’t make snarky comments about it before mass 👍

And I think it’s noble that you took it upon yourself to JUDGE the quality of my spiritual life, assume I don’t have a spiritual director, then imply that I can be a better more refined versión of who I am or obtain a more enlightened outlook and experiance the rightous joy you seem to hold :rolleyes:
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Wow. Lots of anger there.
I didn’t assume. I asked. Big difference.
You go from zero to 100 rather quickly.
Just an observation. :coffeeread:
 
This thread just goes to show theres lot’s of different views. I for one get MANY dirty looks when I sit during the Gospel and consecration, but I know it to be right.
 
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