Must every woman be a feminist?

[Patri]

I guess so. I did not keep my opinions to myself. I think both sexes have potential to do good and bad and we have a lot to give when we act out of love. I guess I wonder why it is so difficult to understand, feels like there is only freedom of speech when you say what the majority is saying.

 

[JMMJ]

You can be whatever you want to be. I don’t know why people carry on like that and post that stuff to FB.

I am a feminist in many ways, and not so much in others. Even I don’t get it, though. Don’t apologize for who you are. You do you, and be the best you can be.

 

[JMMJ]

I think your question is more, “How do I keep my friends when they find out I’m not a feminist?”

The answer if you don’t. I have much experience with this. If you present people with the truth, you will lose the friendship.

So basically, you have to keep your opinions to yourself. You will always feel outside of society and this is the price you pay for following Jesus.

I couldn’t disagree more. Show the world who you are and make friends with people who appreciate and accept you. You don’t need to present yourself as someone you’re not in order to have friends. It has nothing to do with paying a price for Jesus, it has to do with investing time in finding people you are comfortable with and who accept you for who you are. It can take some effort.

 

[Lara]

There IS only freedom of speech if you say the nonsense the secular society wants you to say. Their main tactic is shutting down the people who make sense, rather than trying to make sense themselves.

Anyhow, if you have further contact with such people, don’t state your beliefs. Instead, ask them a lot of questions. Use the Socratic method.

However, if you are not willing to really study feminism, to bolster your tactics, and face being dropped by your friends, it’s best not to enter into these sorts of discussions.

 

[Lara]

If you follow Jesus, there will be very few people you feel comfortable with. You will be disturbed by their pro-abortion views, their pro-divorce thinking, their selfishness in conversations, their negativity.

On the other hand, many people will be drawn to your thoughtful approach, wisdom and kindness and want to go for coffee with you/talk with you. How do you fend off all these people when you know you have nothing in common with them at root? You can be a friend to others who fundamentally disagree with you, but they can never be your friend.

 

[JanR]

If you follow Jesus, there will be very few people you feel comfortable with. You will be disturbed by their pro-abortion views, their pro-divorce thinking, their selfishness in conversations, their negativity.

On the other hand, many people will be drawn to your thoughtful approach, wisdom and kindness and want to go for coffee with you/talk with you. How do you fend off all these people when you know you have nothing in common with them at root? You can be a friend to others who fundamentally disagree with you, but they can never be your friend.

I have to disagree with that. People can be friends with one another even when and if they fundamentally disagree. Friendship goes beyond just agreeing with the ideas or views of others. If we were all the same, and we all agreed with everyone on everything, there would be no room or need for individual thinking. We would all be members of a herd, all going in the same direction, and nothing new, innovative or creative would result.

Why not be friends with someone you don’t agree with, and why can’t they be friends with you? There’s no requirement that friends be carbon copies of each other in their thoughts, ideas, perspectives on life or views of the world. Just appreciate one another for who you really are. Unless they’re truly evil, and then the evil must be addressed.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

I don’t think feminist has to be a dirty word.

I want every woman to know she has dignity and worth. I want women to know they (and their babies) deserve better than abortion. I want to see the culture turn against pornography and all of its dehumanizing effects. There are still a lot of problems in how women are portrayed in the media and seen in the workplace. Women in many other parts of the world do not enjoy the rights they deserve. Feminism’s work isn’t done.

So I suppose I am a feminist, just not in a way that gets me welcomed at women’s marches. My feminism comes from some ferocious motherly parts of my being, and it wills the same goods for men.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You’re not alone. I’m not a feminist. Most women don’t identify as feminists.

Yeah, I was fine with being a feminist when it meant equal votes, equal legal rights, equal education, equal job opportunity (including maternity and childcare support) and equal pay. These days when it seems to be all about killing babies in utero and various sociopolitical posturing, I have parted ways with the label.

 

[LovelyLadybug]

A feminist is a person who supports women’s rights, which definitely does not include a “right” to abortion or other sinful values and it doesn’t mean that women and men are the same, but they’re not. It just means they should have equal rights. I consider myself a pro-life feminist. Feminism just supports womens’ rights - that’s all and there’s nothing wrong with that.

 

[EssentialBeing]

A well balanced human is perfectly centered in both worlds

it doesn’t mean that women and men are the same, but they’re not.

Only different in body but the same in spirit.

 

[JanR]

I think the whole inequality thing between the genders has to do with a confusion between “different” and “inferior”. Men and women are indeed different, though both fully human. Neither gender is inferior, however. And neither is superior. And until that gets straight in society’s collective mind, there will always be a struggle for fair treatment.

Would you believe that, despite all the laws on the books today that prohibit gender discrimination in the workplace, there are still cases where women are paid less than men for the exact same work? Why? Because those laws aren’t enforced, for one, and it’s too easy to get around them.

 

[Limoncello4021]

“Feminist” is a huge umbrella of a term, encompassing all sorts of things. People in the know talk about “first wave,” or “second wave,” feminists, etc. to try to parse it further. For myself I hate labels that, because they are so large, are ultimately meaningless. Sure, I believe in women being paid the same as men for the same job, etc. But I won’t identify as a “feminist” (and never have) because I refuse such attempts at identity politics.

 

[Willing_Spirit]

Would you believe that, despite all the laws on the books today that prohibit gender discrimination in the workplace, there are still cases where women are paid less than men for the exact same work ? Why? Because those laws aren’t enforced, for one, and it’s too easy to get around them

I don’t doubt that a handful of true misogynists hold salary decision making positions, but in most cases I wonder how often this is due to other factors. How many women are paid less because they are actually less qualified but were hired anyway to fill some government quota? How many women are paid less because they are working labor jobs that men are actually performing more effectively and getting raises? Statistics are easy to manipulate, so I never really trust them when they clearly support a wider agenda.

 

[Aquinas11]

I think the whole inequality thing between the genders has to do with a confusion between “different” and “inferior”. Men and women are indeed different, though both fully human. Neither gender is inferior, however. And neither is superior. And until that gets straight in society’s collective mind, there will always be a struggle for fair treatment.

Yes a good metaphor I read on this is with a sports team. In soccer, each team has a goalie and a forward. They are performing different roles, but they’re not unequal. Without the goalie, the team is defenseless to stop other team scoring goals. Without the forward, the team won’t score goals. Both players are equally vital for the team’s success. But what if the goalie says “you know what? I don’t feel equal to the forward, they get to score goals and I don’t!” so the goalie comes out of the goal and now you have 2 forwards and an empty net with no goalie. That team is not going to do very well.

 

[Kindnessmatters]

The original concept of feminism was that women can think for ourselves. However, the feminist movement today seeks to control and dictate the thoughts and opinions of women, so I reject it entirely. It also marginalizes and devalues men. As a sister, friend, niece, cousin, daughter and mother of men, I also reject that platform. I don’t care whether it irks controlling people that I don’t dance to their tune.

 

[Patri]

That is exactly my feeling.

 

[Aquinas11]

Would you believe that, despite all the laws on the books today that prohibit gender discrimination in the workplace, there are still cases where women are paid less than men for the exact same work ? Why? Because those laws aren’t enforced, for one, and it’s too easy to get around them.

What do you mean by “exact same work”?

That they have the exact same job?
That they have the exact same job and work the exact same hours?
That they have the exact same job and have exact same performance evaluation?
That they have the exact same job and exact same hours and exact same performance evaluation?

 

[CoffeeFanatic]

Feminism is the theory and belief in the political, social, and economic equality (i.e rights) of the sexes. So, in that regard, every woman should be a feminist and so should every man. However, when one starts talking about types of feminism present today and what they mean, then it’s okay to opt out of the label, even though you should absolutely be for women to have legal rights (which they used to not have) and to legally be seen as people (which they used to not be). You should also recognize that women are not afforded the same rights and protections as men in numerous places in this world, even still.

I’m more of the Suffragist type myself. However, I’m certainly not a Liberal Feminist because they’re all pro-trans (which actively works to oppress real biological women and their rights), they’re all about sex work and porn being great (which are sins and great evils that contribute to the oppression of women), and they’re all about the glories of abortion (which is another evil). I have the most in common with Radical Feminists (as they are trans exclusionary, and are against prostitution and pornography)- but they still have a lot of issues I diverge with them on as well- so could never count myself among their number.

 

[Convert3]

Don’t forget same number of years experience.

 

[JanR]

JanR:

Would you believe that, despite all the laws on the books today that prohibit gender discrimination in the workplace, there are still cases where women are paid less than men for the exact same work ? Why? Because those laws aren’t enforced, for one, and it’s too easy to get around them

How many women are paid less because they are actually less qualified but were hired anyway to fill some government quota? How many women are paid less because they are working labor jobs that men are actually performing more effectively and getting raises?.

Even so, if the work is exactly the same as the work the men are doing, the women should still be paid the same. If they aren’t as qualified or effective, maybe they don’t deserve raises or promotions, but if the basic work is the same and they’re doing that work, paying them less than men doing that work is still gender discrimination.

The real problem is those laws are too easy to skirt. One has to prove one is being discriminated against illegally, and that can be difficult to do.

An ethically principled employer will do the right thing – obey the law.