Must wives love their husbands?

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D.Erasmus.R

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Are wives only required to submit to their husbands and not required love them? Or are wives required to both submit to and love their husbands?

If wives are not required to love their husbands, then wives are not required to follow the ‘love one another as I have loved you’ command in regard to their husbands. If wives are required to both submit to and love their husbands, then either husbands are required to submit to their wives, or wives must follow double standards.
 
OP, you do not specify whether you are asking about Christian marriage or about civil marriage.
 
St Paul famously had something to say about this

Ephesians 6:21-33 , St. Paul begins by stating that all Christians should “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (21). “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands” (22-24).

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.” (25-28
And later
“This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (32-33).
 
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I am confused.

But we must keep the second most important Commandment regardless of marriage or not

Love thy neighbour as thyself
 
Wives should both love and submit to their husbands. I meant to say “both” (as in, both love and submit), and just make it ten characters)
 
Yes, St Paul is saying both parties should do the same effectively I think. That feels right imo.
 
The husband is required to lay down his life for his wife; that’s the kind of sacrificial love Christ showed for the church. That’s a pretty weighty call on the husband’s life. The respect and submission I show to my husband flows from the recognition of that call on his life as head of household.

At the same time, we have to bear in mind that the husband is supposed to carry out his role with love as Christ did. He is not meant to lord over his wife as if a tyrant. He listens, serves, and leads.

Of course the wife is called to love her husband. We are all called to love each other. That is the greatest commandment.

Honestly, Paul’s words here are absolutely beautiful.
 
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Wives must follow double standards. That’s pretty much how it works in most facets of female life, so they’re pretty used to it.

Seriously though, you are talking about two different kinds of love. When a couple marries, they become one flesh, and that’s why they have to love each other as they love themselves. But that is a different kind of love from the love we are to show other children of God. And the love we have for each other is a different love from that we show God. There are all sorts of discussions in the forum as well as information in the catechism about different forms of love and the distinctions between them, but I think most people find that fairly obvious.
 
Allegra said:
Wives must follow double standards. That’s pretty much how it works in most facets of female life, so they’re pretty used to it.
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Should they? This whole male is the head of the household went out the window 50 years ago and is complete rubbish in this era of dual incomes. We’re supposed to earn money while running a household? Search your soul guys, this it what many of you expect.
 
nodito said:
I think Allegra was being facetious.
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I understand Allegra to be a woman, if so she is speaking truth. If a man is saying this; that just isn’t right for many reasons.
 
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If you have something like this to say to me, that only concerns me, please PM me.
 
PJH_74 said:
This whole male is the head of the household went out the window 50 years ago and is complete rubbish in this era of dual incomes.
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The role as head of household does not solely apply to earnings. Even when the wife has more earning potential than her husband, he is still the head of household. It’s about divine order not just human preferences.
 
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