My 16 year-old daughter flipped the bird

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TheMortenBay said:
Of course this doesn’t say anything about how young Americans treat their teachers.
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There are cases in the USA of teachers who are disrespectful toward their students. Not all teachers act properly and with dignity and with enthusiasm for their vocation.
 
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First find out why she did that. I assume you already have. I’m just saying, even religion teachers can get out of line and say hurtful things. Maybe the teacher deserved it.
 
AlNg said:
There are cases in the USA of teachers who are disrespectful toward their students. Not all teachers act properly and with dignity and with enthusiasm for their vocation.
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Indeed. I had some of these in high school. One was a religious sister. She actually taught us 9th grade religion and Bible history. She mocked us students and was generally snarky and kind of nasty.

As an example, she once laughed at some girls who took Genesis literally and made fun of them in front of the class. She also made a wisecrack at a school function implying that I looked unattractive and needed a makeover. I was 15 at the time.

I managed to not flip any of them the bird though. Actually I was a bit naive and didn’t even know what flipping the bird was or what it meant until I was in college.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
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Hoosier-Daddy:
Also since this is a grade 10 religious teacher that she disrespected I suppose she has been taught about sinning against the 4th commandment so a drive to the confessional is definitely in order.
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My mother did that “forced confession” stuff and it resulted in me developing a fear/anxiety of confession and eventually just not going for 18 years.

Maybe it works on some kids. For me it just created a major anxiety attack with stomach pain, nausea and uncontrollable crying every time I got near a confessional.

I think my mother’s parenting was generally good, but there are a couple areas where it was really off and that was a big one.
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I’m not comfortable with forced confession either. My parents were very religious and very strict but we were never forced to confession as a consequence. Confession was a family trip once per month and there were times that once I got there I’d had time to contemplate some sin and have a grasp of remorse.

Forced confession gives the wrong impression of what confession really means I think.
 
JohnStrachan said:
to her grade 10 religion teacher.
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There’s something you haven’t told us but that would useful for us to know, I think. How did you find out about it? Did someone at the school make a formal complaint? Was it the teacher herself who complained? Was it your daughter who told you? It would help to give us a clear idea of the situation.
 
I flipped the bird in 6th grade. 1st week a catholic school. I’m a girl. I was grounded for a month.
 
Nmc said:
I flipped the bird in 6th grade. 1st week a catholic school. I’m a girl. I was grounded for a month.
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This isn’t related to the thread but is a cultural anecdote. In Australia we had basically never heard of ‘grounding’ as a punishment until we started to get more of the American sitcoms. I know that young parents here nowadays use it but with limited success really I think. Generally our punishments were either doing some sort of tedious job for a week or a month like cleaning all the windows in the house, or to have pocket money docked. Personally I never used grounding. It seems like its punishing all their friends as well.
 
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GladTidings said:
First find out why she did that. I assume you already have. I’m just saying, even religion teachers can get out of line and say hurtful things. Maybe the teacher deserved it.
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I don’t care what a teacher says or does, they NEVER deserve the finger while teaching.

I would ground her for a month for that. Not kidding.
 
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I second this. Perhaps what this teacher says and does is nothing compared to one middle finger. Sometimes teachers bully particular students and they don’t say anything until something snaps because we aren’t used to thinking that the teacher could be the bully.
 
Emeraldlady said:
This isn’t related to the thread but is a cultural anecdote. In Australia we had basically never heard of ‘grounding’ as a punishment until we started to get more of the American sitcoms. I know that young parents here nowadays use it but with limited success really I think. Generally our punishments were either doing some sort of tedious job for a week or a month like cleaning all the windows in the house, or to have pocket money docked. Personally I never used grounding. It seems like its punishing all their friends as well.
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I grew up in a family where grounding was a popular form of punishment. What I saw is that it contributed to the stunted social growth that some of the kids so badly needed. Those teenage years, especially, go by so fast. Not a lot of time to work with when you have a kid with social anxiety who you hope is going to be able to make their way when they head off to college at 18.

I much prefer extra chores, or maybe a lost privilege within the home.
 
I would have her make something beautiful with her hands and give it to her teacher.
 
I agree with the punishment of hard labor for a week or two. Grounding means they’ll just sleep or text with their friends.
But I would also want to open their eyes to potential consequences if they did this to the wrong person. Some teachers might penalize her future grades if they hold a grudge. Others students might become more aggressive in a time or place of their choosing, resulting in injuries or worse. I know someone who made wisecracks to a couple of guys and was sexually assaulted as a result. These are real events in this secular world of ours. You need to be straight with her for her own protection. She’s fortunate this teacher sounds like a professional. But being humble is important in this world. Some scary things happen and it’s best to not aggravate people. God Bless.
 
Did it happen while the teacher was teaching? We don’t know.
 
I was never grounded because I rarely went anywhere anyway, so there was no point in using a punishment that was pretty much what I did every day of the week.
 
“Whipping” a 16 year old is abuse, like it or not. Gender is irrelevant. Hitting a 16 year old will do precisely nothing except teach them to resent their parent and resort to violence as adults.
 
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